Using 'they' or 'them'?? - Page 5

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@dex wrote:
@gidgetgh
@gidgetgh wrote:
They and them are used for people who are gender neutral.
@How would I know if a person is gender neutral...wouldn’t I have to be judging them to get it correct?Cant people be male or female and keep their sexual preference out of it?I am not judging but I just don’t understand.

When someone asks you to use they/them as a pronoun instead of he/she, you know the person is gender neutral. That's exactly what happened in the OP's post - the OP used "she" in regards to her daughter's friend and the daughter said her friend prefers "they/them". Gender-neutral people often include this information in their bios on social media, include it in a signature line, or will tell you. They recognize it's on them to inform us of their status - and it's up to us to get it right after being informed, just like we would with someone's name.

jonbon · ‎03-09-2010

Wow to some of these comments, but not surprised.

this is my nic · ‎03-30-2010

@seaBreeze

And we refer to female QVC women presenters as hosts, not hostesses. I wonder what the terminology was when QVC first started; were men hosts and women hostesses?

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@petepetey wrote:
My college age child told me a friend of hers was traveling in Europe this week.
I asked 'who is she traveling with'? She then told me she doesn't use 'she' anymore
it's 'they or 'them'.

This one is hard for me to wrap my head around. Why deny your gender? Is that a bad thing? They or them is plural so are you speaking about one person or a group?

How can I understand this?

@petepeteySo many things with younger people is a phase. It will be interesting to see how long this lasts.

She doesn't use "she" anymore. Doesn't mean others can't.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

ALRATIBA · ‎07-15-2016

If they don't want male/female pronouns .... I'll use "it." That's "MY" preference.

Marp · ‎03-09-2010

@ALRATIBA wrote:
If they don't want male/female pronouns .... I'll use "it." That's "MY" preference.

Volumes said with one little word.

The eyes through which you see others may be the same as how they see you.

Peaches McPhee · ‎04-19-2010

As someone who was drilled in grammar school about the difference between singular and plural pronouns, and pronoun/noun agreement, I am having a tough time transitioning to the use of plural pronouns for a single person.

But I am getting over it. Times and definitions change.

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@ALRATIBA wrote:
If they don't want male/female pronouns .... I'll use "it." That's "MY" preference.

Dehumanizing marginalized people is a choice a lot of people have made in the past and present and it's never ended well for anyone.

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

They and them are plural. She would have to use IT. I really don't think this is what is going on.... but then what do I know. The last few years I taught Language Arts (English) the administrators told us the new rule was not to teach grammar, or spelling, or handwriting. I did wonder what I was supposed to teach and the answer was " teach them to think." You can see why I retired. LOL

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

I'm an English teacher. Singular is singular. Plural is plural. No amount of social evolution will change that. However, people use incorrect grammar all the time, especially with pronouns, so the reasons for doing so seem not to matter. I believe in preserving correct grammar and usage and I appreciate the beauty of the English language, but I am realistic enough to know that as it has already degenerated, it will continue to degenerate over the decades to the point where it will not be recognizable in its original form. In fact, it already has happened through the years.