Using 'they' or 'them'??

Petepetey · ‎03-09-2010

My college age child told me a friend of hers was traveling in Europe this week.

I asked 'who is she traveling with'? She then told me she doesn't use 'she' anymore

it's 'they or 'them'.

This one is hard for me to wrap my head around. Why deny your gender? Is that a bad thing? They or them is plural so are you speaking about one person or a group?

How can I understand this?

QualityGal · ‎10-04-2010

Just do it your way. I don't believe we have to accept everything people throw in our path. We can still be respectful.

OKPrincess · ‎03-10-2013

Wouldn’t the singular non gender form of she or he be “it”?

Where is it going on vacation? Is that what is meant?

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I think I would have looked at her and said "What on Earth are you talking about? You don't call one person They. How much is your education costing me? And this is what they are teaching you?"

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Haha! I would have said, "Okay since it's only one person we're referring to then, where is IT going?"

@OKPrincess wrote:
Wouldn’t the singular non gender form of she or he be “it”?

Where is it going on vacation? Is that what is meant?

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

You will hear all sorts of things that might give you pause. She is seeing an entirely new world ,and things are appealing to her.

I would just speak like I always did, and not lecture her. It will do absolutely no good at all, and might do a lot more harm, than it is worth making a fuss over.

Goldengate8361 · ‎01-27-2014

I don’t think it’s a big deal, particularly given how many “real” errors people in speaking every day. I am, however, very offended by folks using “he” generically. That is a sexist practice. I routinely correct people that insist on using masculine pronouns to represent everyone.

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@Petepetey. Actually, I think your best bet is to ask your daughter to explain it. I don't think anyone here would know what is in your daughters mind.