Reply
Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,426
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

How about "one".

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Highlighted
Valued Contributor
Posts: 699
Registered: ‎06-08-2011

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??


@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

The transgender community uses they or them to refer to nonspecific groups of people. I think it's meant to not make identity by gender a "thing". My nephew is transgender and that is how he and his group of friends refer to each other.

 

It's not a lack of education or the downfall of society. It's just a way for a group of people to feel their way through society. It feels awkward to say it for me, but I can respect the intent.


I greatly respect the transgender community, but honestly, I've seen this change in grammar and usage coming for many, many years and it has nothing to do with the transgender community.  Grammar and usage are not taught in schools the way they were decades ago. People have gotten lazy in the way they speak.  If I spoke incorrectly when I was young, both my parents and teachers corrected me.  That was a way I learned and most people my age will tell you they experienced something similar.  Today that doesn't happen as often as it did back then.  

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,177
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

@151949I think it's quite likely the speaker has friends who are part of the LBGT community or could even be part of that group herself.  There's lots of language experimentation going on which has nothing to do with what mom is paying the college for. 

I agree with the response that mom might want to talk directly to her daughter in a very non-judgmental way.  No challenges are called for.

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,182
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

They and them are used for people who are gender neutral. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,258
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

[ Edited ]

Without divulging too much personal info, I know someone who identifies as non-binary. This person prefers non-gender specific pronouns such as they/them. I admit I can fail miserably in correctly referring to this one.

 

I did not know that transgenders prefer these non-binary pronouns. In my experience a trans identifies as the gender they have transitioned to and therefore want to be referred to by that gender's pronouns. 

 

If anyone is interested there are singular non-binary pronouns you can see by doing a simple Google search.

 

 

I

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,696
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

@gidgetgh


@gidgetgh wrote:

They and them are used for people who are gender neutral. 


@How would I know if a person is gender neutral...wouldn’t I have to be judging them to get it correct?Cant people be male or female and keep their sexual preference  out of it?I am not judging but I just don’t understand.

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,695
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

This is all under the guise of inclusiveness and being politically correct. 

 

I'll have none of it. I'm not going to abandon gender titles. 

 

I will accept that people can choose to be what they want, regardless of how they were born, and if you change, I will use the gender title you prefer, but I'm not going to dehumanize people by calling them 'it', regardless of their preference to be gender neutral.

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,020
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??


@Petepetey wrote:

My college age child told me a friend of hers was traveling in Europe this week.

I asked 'who is she traveling with'?  She then told me she doesn't use 'she' anymore

it's 'they or 'them'.

 

This one is hard for me to wrap my head around. Why deny your gender? Is that a bad thing?  They or them is plural so are you speaking about one person or a group?

 

How can I understand this?


College kids are being indoctrinated into denying the obvious.  That's the agenda, and it's a costly one -- intellectually, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually (not to mention financially...just think of the tuition that pays for such nonsense!).

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,182
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??


@Whatnow wrote:

@gidgetgh


@gidgetgh wrote:

They and them are used for people who are gender neutral. 


@How would I know if a person is gender neutral...wouldn’t I have to be judging them to get it correct?Cant people be male or female and keep their sexual preference  out of it?I am not judging but I just don’t understand.


 

@Whatnow- you might not know. I just know for a fact that people who are gender neutral like to be referred to as them/they.  Ze and zir are also sometimes used. 

 

They don’t identify strongly with their birth gender.  They feel somewhere in the middle of the two genders. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Using 'they' or 'them'??

My generation had “Ms.” which became mainstream in the 60’s.

Everyone has adapted.

Society made it normal.

And the World continues to turn.

Amazing.

 

(wiki)

“...the default use of Ms., especially for business purposes, is championed by some American sources, including Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners).  Concerning business, the Emily Post Institute states, "Ms. is the default form of address, unless you know positively that a woman wishes to be addressed as Mrs."  The American Heritage Book of English Usage states, "Using Ms. obviates the need for the guesswork involved in figuring out whether to address someone as Mrs. or Miss: you can’t go wrong with Ms. Whether the woman you are addressing is married or unmarried, has changed her name or not, Ms. is always correct."