Community Chat

[Free2be]

I think the gist of the OP statement is that a confident person would not easily react with feelings of anger at hearing or reading a thought or belief that is not shared. There would be no reason to react with anger or any strong emotion. That would be irrational and unbalanced.

An individual who has made the effort to think, learn, and know there is diversity near and far in all walks of life, in the many cultures, countries, cities, and varying ways of viewing all things, will more likely be able to let the differing thought just be knowing it doesn't affect their own being.

I didn't read the question to be about personal insult or anything that affects one's existence.

[hckynut]

Hey OP! You ever been a Ref in any Adult Team Competitive Sports contests? Me? I see it as False, thank you.

[JustJules]

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

If another can easily anger you it is because you are off balance with yourself.

I say true to a certain extent. A person who is confident within themselves cannot be angered by another person's words. Actions on the other hand are a different matter.

I disagree. Anger is a natural emotion designed to protect us when we are threatened or in danger. Some people anger sooner or easier than others, but it is not a matter of being "off balance" or out of control. Nor does it have anything to do with self-confidence. Words are actions, and the tongue can be the most vicious weapon of all. Sometimes the damage inflicted by words is much stronger than any broken bones a punch could deliver. However, I do believe that anger needs to be controlled by the person, they are only off balance if they allow the anger to control them.

It's a fascinating topic though, and something I was recently discussing in a class I was taking. We were reading a book that includes this subject, you might find it an interesting read. It's called "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman.

[terrier3]

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

On 3/15/2015 Plaid Pants said:

Then I guess it's wrong to fight against injustice.

I guess it was wrong for the brave people to fight against r*cism.

I guess it was wrong to fight for equality in the work place.

I guess it was wrong for women to fight for the right to vote.

I guess it was wrong for the country to fight against sla*ery.

Those are not physical fights out of anger but mental fights because of wanting something better. Not the same thing at all as losing your temper.

ITA!

IMO, anger is a non-productive emotion.

[SuiGeneris]

I believe the original quote somewhat refers to what Maslow would "self-actualization."

Human beings have levels of needs; as each of those needs are met (or fulfilled), we become stronger and more confident in our being. The final step is self-actualization, characterized by complete fulfillment and becoming all that you can be. The examples I have seen cited are Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, among others.

Here is a diagram of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

[LilacTree]

On 3/15/2015 minkbunny said:

I don't know what being confident would have to do with being angered by another's words.

Let somebody say something unkind about my husband or family and I will be very angry.

Let somebody say something bigoted, racist, homophobic or anything along those lines and I will be very angry.

Yet, anybody who knows me knows that I am very confident on all levels.

Minkbunny . . . I am you . . . except I don't have the cowboy!

[AnikaBrodie]

It depends on the situation. Sometimes it's best to confront it upfront; other times it's best to walk away. Harsh words, once spoken, cannot be unsaid and words do hurt.

[SuiGeneris]

I've also always liked this quote:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

- Carl Jung

And, an explanation of the quote I found online is interesting:

Often the things that irritate us most about other people, are the things we dislike most about ourselves.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling irked by something someone has said or done, ask yourself – how is this person mirroring my own behavior? And before I judge the other person, what can I do to rectify this in myself?

[Stella Dallas]

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

If another can easily anger you it is because you are off balance with yourself.

I say true to a certain extent. A person who is confident within themselves cannot be angered by another person's words. Actions on the other hand are a different matter.

I think that's a nonsense idea.

Do you think the people who are angry about the Holocaust are not confident in themselves? People who get angry over racism and injustice? etc.,?

[Marp2]

On 3/16/2015 SuiGeneris said:

I've also always liked this quote:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

- Carl Jung

And, an explanation of the quote I found online is interesting:

Often the things that irritate us most about other people, are the things we dislike most about ourselves.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling irked by something someone has said or done, ask yourself – how is this person mirroring my own behavior? And before I judge the other person, what can I do to rectify this in myself?

But can't the opposite also be true. For example, I am quiet and soft spoken. I like that about myself and others. Loud, highly animated, perky people irritate me because it upsets my inner balance.

ETA: to be clear, I am referencing irritation not anger.