Community Chat

[golding76]

just bee,

I admire your courage and equanimity.  Recently, I lost a $1,000 pair of gold earrings (I bought them on sale but still at a substantial sum for me), and I have been kicking myself for the last two weeks after discovering my loss.  Ridiculous of me!  Since then, more things have beset my normal routine, and I am off balance.  Shame on me.

YOU have suffered an enormous loss of things and yet are soldiering on with admirable strength.  Bravo!  I admire you.  I hope that you and your DH soon find a lovely rental that satisfies all your needs until your home is rebuilt.

Your experience -- and your words -- offer an important life lesson.  Thank you so much.  All the best to you and your family!  

[just bee]

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@golding76 wrote:

just bee,

I admire your courage and equanimity.  Recently, I lost a $1,000 pair of gold earrings (I bought them on sale but still at a substantial sum for me), and I have been kicking myself for the last two weeks after discovering my loss.  Ridiculous of me!  Since then, more things have beset my normal routine, and I am off balance.  Shame on me.

YOU have suffered an enormous loss of things and yet are soldiering on with admirable strength.  Bravo!  I admire you.  I hope that you and your DH soon find a lovely rental that satisfies all your needs until your home is rebuilt.

Your experience -- and your words -- offer an important life lesson.  Thank you so much.  All the best to you and your family!  

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@golding76 

Timing is everything.  I might not have handled this as well if it had happened a few years ago.  I've been working as a psychiatric nurse for the past six years and I've learned something about resiliency.

Those who are resilient have an edge.  Those who aren't as resilient get worn down much faster.

Thank you so much for your kind words.  Appreciate it!

[this is my nic]

Several years ago our family was all together chatting about things.  We have 2 granddaughters, the older one was present.  The subject came up that she would likely inherit the majority of our treasures, such as my good china and silver place settings.  Her immediate response was it would all go right on Ebay.  It crushed me!  DH and I eloped, so there were no wedding gifts;  everything we have we worked for and it took a long time for me to acquire my china and silver.  Since she would receive them as an inheritance rather than working for those items, they meant nothing to her.  

BTW, our other granddaughter is a step and we love her very much, but at the time this conversation took place she was still a young child so we never thought of her and things like china and silver.  Perhaps she would be happy to receive and use them instead of selling to the highest bidder! 

[Witchy Woman]

@this is my nic 

I can understand your hurt.  Those are your treasures and it might have been better had she kept those thoughts to herself.  However, having it out in the open allows you the option of doing something else that might make you happier regarding your items.

When I divorced at 31, I think that set the stage for me to lose my attachment to things.  As I packed my stuff to leave, I realized that most things had no sentimental value to me.

Perhaps I don't have that gene, but, when I later learned that my ex had held a yard sale to rid himself of most of the things I intended to come back and claim, I got a dose of reality regarding an attachment to "things."

Whatever I thought was precious was gone and I had to start over.

From that time until now, I just feel little or no attachment to stuff.  Oh, I enjoy my possessions and have used most of them, but now, so much just feels like clutter to me.

I have no children or relatives who might want my things. They will either go in the trash or be sold in some way.  Therefore, I want to at least be the one for now to make a decision on the bulk of my "stuff."

Before your stuff is sold on Ebay, find an acceptable way to dispose of them.  Or, just let it all go.

[just bee]

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@Witchy Woman wrote:

When I divorced at 31, I think that set the stage for me to lose my attachment to things.  As I packed my stuff to leave, I realized that most things had no sentimental value to me.

Perhaps I don't have that gene, but, when I later learned that my ex had held a yard sale to rid himself of most of the things I intended to come back and claim, I got a dose of reality regarding an attachment to "things."

Whatever I thought was precious was gone and I had to start over.

From that time until now, I just feel little or no attachment to stuff.  Oh, I enjoy my possessions and have used most of them, but now, so much just feels like clutter to me.

I have no children or relatives who might want my things. They will either go in the trash or be sold in some way.  Therefore, I want to at least be the one for now to make a decision on the bulk of my "stuff."

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@Witchy Woman 

Better-half and I have no one to leave things to, either.  We've lost parents and most of our relatives.  I've seen how their possessions ended up.

Yesterday the house was emptied and everything that had been left behind was taken out.  It's all gone now.

No one will have to deal with it after I'm gone because it no longer exists.  Well, unfortunately it does exist.  As landfill.

I read a quote recently.  Something about your home being your living space and not a storage space.

It's true, isn't it?

[Witchy Woman]

@just bee 

And, there you have it.  

A clean slate from which to begin. 

All parents gone for us, too.  The truth is, no one really wants YOUR stuff, but you. 

I would be heartbroken to lose everything as has happened to you.  But, at the same time, you can give careful thought to what is really necessary to rebuild a "home."

Somewhere along the way, a shift occurred in me, but I surely feel different about the space I occupy now.

Please keep us posted on your journey! 

[just bee]

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@Witchy Woman wrote:

@just bee 

And, there you have it.  

A clean slate from which to begin. 

All parents gone for us, too.  The truth is, no one really wants YOUR stuff, but you. 

I would be heartbroken to lose everything as has happened to you.  But, at the same time, you can give careful thought to what is really necessary to rebuild a "home."

Somewhere along the way, a shift occurred in me, but I surely feel different about the space I occupy now.

Please keep us posted on your journey! 

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@Witchy Woman 

I've felt that "shift," too.  Now I worry about the interim.  Moving into a rental and having to deal with items that will be stored in the rental until we can get into our house again.  It will feel like clutter.

[summergal1]

Oh honey you are not alone. 🙈

[Yahooey]

 @just bee 

Can you rent a storage unit and haul it all off there? this way your rental space can be smaller and you don't need all that clutter around you, just the necessities. More room for you and your sweet doggie.

[tsavorite]

Yes I am still in this boat too!  The last few yrs I have bought a good amount of "everything"!  I need to go thur my closet again and toss all the tops I never wear...next week I will begin that process.  I did purge a good amount from the basement last yr but there is still more to go.

If I could I would hire the Got Junk people to stop over and take out all the heavy broken workout equipment!  My spouse most likely will not allow that...for some reason even if things are broken and nobody wants them...he insists on keeping them.  

For 15yrs this equipment has sat broken in the basement...can't be fixed and he can't and doesn't ever use it.  When we got a new mattress he wouldn't allow me to toss out the old one...stuffed it in the basement...said maybe one day our kids might want it LOL!  As if we or they could EVER lift this over sized GIANT HEAVY HEAVY king size mattress and haul it to there place....it was used for 16yrs and stinks like the basement and has sags in it!

It's nice if you can actually get rid of junk but when your spouse won't allow it then you have to just suffer and live with it.  If I do go 1st our kids will be stuck with it all....not my choice...can only manage my own stuff.