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06-17-2019 11:15 PM - edited 06-17-2019 11:18 PM
I realized several years ago that the things I had been saving for years for my daughters were just taking up space... cause they didn’t want anything I had saved. The exquisitely made set of bone China that belonged to my mother and even some of my grandmother’s dishes I just can’t keep any longer...I took pictures of them and sent to all three of my daughters....silence. Two Lane cedar chests. Nope. They don’t want them for the granddaughters either. They are only for “old people.” Wish I had asked years ago! Lesson learned...don’t save anything for your children unless they specifically ask for something. Donate it or sell it to someone who wants it. Every time I see an empty shelf now I am not sad, just feel like I am making progress.
i don’t want my children to be burdened with having to get rid of my stuff when I am gone...I have a huge set of Desert Rose that was my great aunt’s ....just read it has a high lead content....so don’t know what to do with it now....guess someone at the Goodwill is going to hit the jackpot!
06-18-2019 12:16 AM
Oh, I know about stuff! I'm curently working on getting rid of mine. Stuff that's accumulated in the 26 yrs. of living in my house. In preparation for moving when my youngest graduates from h.s. next year. I tackle a little each day. I have 4 bedrooms; mine, my son's, a guest room, & the last one, which has become the "Idk where else to put it" room. Ugh.
06-18-2019 07:10 AM
Perhapys your husband is sharing a second life with ME
DH saves bubble wrap, so that gives you an idea where we are in the scheme of things. Oy, it drives me bonkers.
He has a HUGE garage that is completely out of control (by my standards), but he says he knows where everything is. I think it's just gotten away from him and he will NEVER admit that.
Like you, I've told him if he goes before me, I'm calling a few of his friends to take what they want, and then having someone come in and empty the place.
For now, that is HIS place, so I leave it alone.
The house is MY domain, so I can control that.
I understand how you feel
06-18-2019 07:13 AM
I tried that with some clothing years back.
Basically, they don't want it and I don't want to be bothered. I'd rather have a clean sweep and be done with it.
Donating is the fastest, easiest avenue for decluttering.
06-18-2019 07:21 AM - edited 06-18-2019 07:22 AM
Love reading everyone's stories! So happy I am not alone! Wish we could all show up and help each other. One a day, and it wouldn't take long to get it all done.
Last night, DH noted stacks of dishes on the dining room table and raised his eyebrows.
As I said, this is a man who has, in the past, saved bubble wrap. We have rolls and rolls of it in the garage.
He cannot throw anything away = potential hoarder.
In fairness, he is a builder and still working, so most of his tools get used as do a lot of other things. It's just that it's reached the point of "heaps" in the garage.
I remind myself, I can only control the house, and the boxing has begun.
06-18-2019 08:26 AM
We'd been in our house for 25 years and Better-half, a minimalist, had been trying to get me to pare down. I had started going through collections, pulling things out and donating them to the Animal Humane thrift store.
Of course, I just wasn't moving fast enough. In early May, one of our vehicles ignited in our garage. The house didn't burn to the ground, but the soot and water damage is extensive. The house will have to be rebuilt and since they can't find brick to match our exterior, the house will need to be re-bricked.
That means my landscaping will probably have to be ripped out. Trees, roses.
Most of the contents of our home should have been donated before the fire. Now the items are covered in soot. Hundreds of books, closets full of clothes, art, sculpture. Items I've been sifting through and throwing away for over a month now.
We're in a hotel with a 75-pound dog, looking for a rental. It will take at least a year to rebuild.
Don't wait. Decide what you're going to do with your "stuff" and get it out of the house before you have no option but landfill.
06-18-2019 08:31 AM
I'm in the same boat. Grandmother's and mother's crystal stemware, Johnson Brother's tureky plates ( Why on earth did I have to collect 24 of these when I now use 3 at the most?), Lenox Christmas china and decorations for every holiday from Halloween to 4th of July. My kids want none of this. I have no one left in my family but husband, 2 daughters and a granddaughter. 2 years ago we downsized and moved to a new area to be near oldest daughter. I purged a lot and gave things to friends and to thrift stores. But I still find myself holding on to too many things from bygone days. I will never entertain large groups again and it is depressing looking at all of this stuff and knowing that those days are gone. So maybe everytime a holiday rolls around I open the tubs of items and start donationg. It has to be done I'm not getting any younger.
06-18-2019 08:32 AM - edited 06-18-2019 08:36 AM
Oh my, how awful for you and your husband!
All that loss, then the waiting and rebuilding. A year out of my house would be a lifetime for me!
I am so sorry you are having to go through this...especially, the throwing away part. At least I can hold on to the idea that someone will want/treasure what I'm giving away.
I already packed 8 plastic containers this morning. Granted, they are not huge containers -- the kind made to store under beds -- but I'm filling them with dishes, so they are perfect. Not too heavy.
I'm keeping only one set of white Wedgewood dishes. The rest of them....and there are at least 6 sets, are being donated. That was my goal for today.
You've suffered a great loss. Hoping the journey back is an easier one.
06-18-2019 08:36 AM
Thank you.
It will certainly be a different house. We didn't keep very much.
06-18-2019 08:36 AM - edited 06-18-2019 08:37 AM
We all understand. The "things" from the past represent what is gone and will never be again. It can be heartbreaking.
I love the Johnson Brothers turkey dishes...I think they are called, His Majesty or something like that. I wanted them at one time. Glad I resisted as they would be going out the door now! I could never settle for 4 or 8, I HAD to have at least 12! We've all been there.
But, I'm determined to get this done.
At least you've gotten rid of some things.
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