Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,765
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

[ Edited ]

@Jordan2   Aww. Hugs to you!!!   I know it is difficult.  I lost my mom 20 years ago.  It was so hard, but as others have said, time heals, and then you do remember the good memories and it will make you smile.  If you need to cry, then cry.  No shame in that.  Like others mentioned, talk to your doctor if it continues or you need some help.  


There are SO many nice posters here that really do feel like friends. Most people are caring and listen.  Take care.  I hope soon those memories will make you smile.  Your mom would not want you crying and hurting.  No mom wants that for their kids.  



Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,765
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

@gizmogal   so sorry for your recent loss!   I can’t even imagine.  I wish you comfort and peace in the coming year.  Parents are a certain bond, but a sweetheart can be the best bond in life.   Blessings to you. 



Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,736
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

@gizmogal wrote:

So sorry for your loss and the acuteness of your pain this week in particular. 


I lost both my parents more than 20 years ago.

Though each of us needs varying time, you will feel better over time. You don't get over it, it is just easier to accept and endure. You will feel better again, even though it seems so dark right now.


I've noticed a big loss becomes more bearable when you are able to remember your mom without the feeling of missing her. The nostalgia and emptiness of missing your mother is what hurts because the lack of her presence is so vivid. When you are aware that your life and mental state has moved to so many fond (or even a very few negative) memories, but without the sense of your aloneness, you will know that you are managing your grief better. You will always remember your mother in so many ways, but you won't actively miss her as time goes by. 


For grief the treatment is tender care, the cure is time.


Be good to yourself this week. Cry and acknowledge your feelings. But be assured you are understood here and wherever else you express yourself. 


And it will get better wtih time. Stay strong.


Sending a hug and a box of kleenex.


(I lost my sweetheart of 40+ years just 4 weeks ago today. We were so loving and vital to each other. I have been bereft and having to console myself. I know your pain). 

I love the way you put this, @gizmogal. It rings so true. I'm sorry for your long term and acute losses as well. Heart

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr