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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,077
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I'm a very picky eater myself, always have been, and whenever I get an invitation to someone's house I never ask what they're serving.  I just go and there's usually something that I'll eat and I'll just avoid the reast.  I think the same thing can be said of allergies, just find something on the table that you're not allergic to to eat.  You can always eat before you go if you want to enjoy the company of other people.  I would never mention any of my issues with the host, they have enough to deal with, you should either accept the invitation or decline, don't ask for a menu, it's not a restaurant, it's someone's home.  It's the same thing when someone tells you dinner as at 1, or 2 or whatever time and you tell that doesn't work for you and could the host change it?  Well, it's not about you it's about the host and what time they want to have dinner.  When I'm invited to someone's house and they tell me dinners at such and such a time, I say that's wonderful.  All I have to do is show up and eat, they have to do all the work.  The same can be said for quests who come 2 hours late for dinner.  One couple was upset that we were already eating dinner when decided to arrive.  I'm not holding dinner for 2 hours because you decided to show up late, for no reason, no phone call etc.  Needless to say I never invited them back.  People today are rude beyond rude.  

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,547
Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Just as there are rude, ignorant guests, there are rude and ignorant hosts.

 

I too, am fussy about what I eat. I become extremely frustrated when I politely decline to eat something and the host or person that made it does the “but why don’t you want it, you have to try it, no one makes it the way I do” pouty, insulted routine. I’m still not going to eat it, no matter what they do. I’m never, ever rude about turning down a food, but I most certainly get unkind responses to doing so.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

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Super Contributor
Posts: 453
Registered: ‎07-02-2011

I agree....hosts should not push food on people, just let eveyone go their own way.  Some have health or food issues that are private and not appropriate to share at the dinner table!  They should not be interrogated as to why or why not they are eating something.

 

I totally agree with the original poster too- folks should not be announcing their special dietary needs prior to the event.  It is Thanksgiving and there are usually so many sides that everyone can find something to eat.  If for whatever reason your dietary regime is that strict you should politely decline the invitation.

 

My young son is a vegetarian and was unable to travel home last year. His manager was kind enough to ask him to Thanksgiving dinner.  My son made a vegetarian main dish and mushroom gravy for himself and the table.  Everyone loved it and he was no imposition to anyone. If you cannot cook you can always bring in a catered dish or make do.  But never impose extra work on the hosts!

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Posts: 9,515
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

These are not regular guests; it's unfair to accuse a  host of being "rude" because said host is unwilling to cater to every dietary demand of one time guests.

 

Honestly-how many here actually have guests they've never know prior to this TD?

You know your family dietary needs and those of the friends you invite; I seriously doubt that people are serving dinner to folks they have never met.

 

Nobody should be expected to rearrange a menu (planned ahead of time) so that FISH of all things be offered. 

 

These employees are out of line, imo.  Even products you buy off the shelf have warnings that the product is manufactured in a facility that also produces soy, nuts, etc.

 

What is the host supposed to do?  Sanitize the whole house in case one of her ingredients crossed with another dish?

 

You know your guests and what they need; these are unknown people with a one-time shot at this home;  HOME not a RESTAURANT.

 

For pity sake-the host is trying to do something nice; the guests are out of line.

 

I also do not see a bashing against any person HERE who doesn't eat meat or has allergies or is lactose intolerant or whatever; nor should there be.  As well as there shouldn't be a high and might attitude for those who claim to be so inclusive of every dietary need on the planet.

 

This is why I think the whole holiday is foolish; all about the food and not the message of the day.  It's outdated, not inclusive for our Native Americans, and just another day to complain about relatives, football, rude guests and rude hosts.

 

Fish indeed.

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,426
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

[ Edited ]

@Cakers wrote:

These are not regular guests; it's unfair to accuse a  host of being "rude" because said host is unwilling to cater to every dietary demand of one time guests.

 

Honestly-how many here actually have guests they've never know prior to this TD?

You know your family dietary needs and those of the friends you invite; I seriously doubt that people are serving dinner to folks they have never met.

 

Nobody should be expected to rearrange a menu (planned ahead of time) so that FISH of all things be offered. 

 

These employees are out of line, imo.  Even products you buy off the shelf have warnings that the product is manufactured in a facility that also produces soy, nuts, etc.

 

What is the host supposed to do?  Sanitize the whole house in case one of her ingredients crossed with another dish?

 

You know your guests and what they need; these are unknown people with a one-time shot at this home;  HOME not a RESTAURANT.

 

For pity sake-the host is trying to do something nice; the guests are out of line.

 

I also do not see a bashing against any person HERE who doesn't eat meat or has allergies or is lactose intolerant or whatever; nor should there be.  As well as there shouldn't be a high and might attitude for those who claim to be so inclusive of every dietary need on the planet.

 

This is why I think the whole holiday is foolish; all about the food and not the message of the day.  It's outdated, not inclusive for our Native Americans, and just another day to complain about relatives, football, rude guests and rude hosts.

 

Fish indeed.


Wow so you selectively read this thread and finish with my saying YES fish is traditional at Thanksgiving.

 

And if you actually read the thread you would know nobody is bashing the Host. The only person who is being questioned is the underling who is giving a one sided rant. And refusing to pass along the info. Did it occur to you that if these people are missed at the Host's Table and the Host finds out afterwards that the OP refused to pass along their dietary needs that the Host might be miffed? To just blame these people because of their diets is ridiculous and small.

 

We have no way of knowing if the host cares to know about any allergies etc. So by all means just run with ignorance and insult those who have hosted gatherings and put concern and responsibility of their guest before their own comfort.

 

After reading all of the thread and the OP's replies I question whether or not these people actually made such demands or if the OP was just to overworked and is seeing any notice as too much. Not everyone is going to fall in line with the there there approach and agree with the OP. No need for you to be so insulting...But I guess that is how you were dragged up to be.Woman Happy

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,515
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

*yawn*  Get over it.

 

 

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,564
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Underling?  That's rather rude. 

 

I cannot believe that 6 days later, this is still going on.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,426
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@LipstickDiva wrote:

Underling?  That's rather rude. 

 

I cannot believe that 6 days later, this is still going on.


No it is what I gathered when the OP explained where they are in comparison to the host.  

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,858
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

@caravaggio wrote:

@Cakers wrote:

These are not regular guests; it's unfair to accuse a  host of being "rude" because said host is unwilling to cater to every dietary demand of one time guests.

 

Honestly-how many here actually have guests they've never know prior to this TD?

You know your family dietary needs and those of the friends you invite; I seriously doubt that people are serving dinner to folks they have never met.

 

Nobody should be expected to rearrange a menu (planned ahead of time) so that FISH of all things be offered. 

 

These employees are out of line, imo.  Even products you buy off the shelf have warnings that the product is manufactured in a facility that also produces soy, nuts, etc.

 

What is the host supposed to do?  Sanitize the whole house in case one of her ingredients crossed with another dish?

 

You know your guests and what they need; these are unknown people with a one-time shot at this home;  HOME not a RESTAURANT.

 

For pity sake-the host is trying to do something nice; the guests are out of line.

 

I also do not see a bashing against any person HERE who doesn't eat meat or has allergies or is lactose intolerant or whatever; nor should there be.  As well as there shouldn't be a high and might attitude for those who claim to be so inclusive of every dietary need on the planet.

 

This is why I think the whole holiday is foolish; all about the food and not the message of the day.  It's outdated, not inclusive for our Native Americans, and just another day to complain about relatives, football, rude guests and rude hosts.

 

Fish indeed.


Wow so you selectively read this thread and finish with my saying YES fish is traditional at Thanksgiving.

 

And if you actually read the thread you would know nobody is bashing the Host. The only person who is being questioned is the underling who is giving a one sided rant. And refusing to pass along the info. Did it occur to you that if these people are missed at the Host's Table and the Host finds out afterwards that the OP refused to pass along their dietary needs that the Host might be miffed? To just blame these people because of their diets is ridiculous and small.

 

We have no way of knowing if the host cares to know about any allergies etc. So by all means just run with ignorance and insult those who have hosted gatherings and put concern and responsibility of their guest before their own comfort.

 

After reading all of the thread and the OP's replies I question whether or not these people actually made such demands or if the OP was just to overworked and is seeing any notice as too much. Not everyone is going to fall in line with the there there approach and agree with the OP. No need for you to be so insulting. But I am right and you are so wrong...Yawn and moving on...


@caravaggio I never said I refused to pass along any information about dietary restrictions.  In fact, I specifically said I would pass along that people were gluten free and vegetarian if asked.  The only thing I said that I wouldn’t mention were the rude ways in which the guests specifically requested certain foods, and that was more to protect the character of the guests and not to make the host feel put out.  You are incredibly rude and a flat out liar for calling me names and making up stories about what I said I would and wouldn’t do.  Hopefully no one will ever take the time and care to protect or defend your character in the way that I have gone out of my way to do for these people.  They’re just picky eaters.  There is so much more wrong with you.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,354
Registered: ‎04-18-2013

@FrostyBabe1 wrote:

Just as there are rude, ignorant guests, there are rude and ignorant hosts.

 

I too, am fussy about what I eat. I become extremely frustrated when I politely decline to eat something and the host or person that made it does the “but why don’t you want it, you have to try it, no one makes it the way I do” pouty, insulted routine. I’m still not going to eat it, no matter what they do. I’m never, ever rude about turning down a food, but I most certainly get unkind responses to doing so.


@FrostyBabe1

 

I agree, there's a lot of rudenss to to around.

 

I do find it rude to ask a host to cater to your particular food preferences, and I also find it rude to have a host (or another guest) question what you do or don't put on your plate.

 

I will not justify my food choices while at a gathering.  I have been put in this position and I just don't see the reason for it.  If someone is curious about how I eat, they can ask about it, but putting me on the spot while eating at someone's home is just rude.