Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

@TenderMercies, wouldn’t you love to make all these specific comments known to the hosts and hostess, and which of their employees, who, you know, theoretically want to get ahead in the company, said what? Seems only right, to me 👹

[lovesrecess]

I would say a traditional Thanksgiving dinner will be served. If they don't know what that is, they can easily look it up. Tell them if they have dietary restrictions, feel free to decline the invitation. If you can't eat something that is served...just don't eat it...no drama.

i have found from experience that many so-called "needs" are bogus...they just like to be catered to and feel "special". One guy I know is well-known as a vegan....saw him at a burger joint recently choking down on a huge burger and a milkshake....but I didn't say hi!😎

[mousiegirl]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

UPDATE:

I thought I'd give an update.  I spoke with a coworker today who mentioned that she had a conversation yesterday with the board member who is hosting this Thanksgiving dinner. My coworker said that the hostess inquired if there were any food allergies or restrictions among the invited guests, and my coworker passed along that there were 2 vegetarians and a gluten free guest.  She did not pass along the rude way in which these guests made specific requests.  So, that worked out as I suspected.

HOWEVER, as I was finalizing the guest list this morning to send to my boss, the guest who said, "I'd like to request a fish or vegetarian meal" emailed me to inquire if the hostess had pets, because he is allergic to cats.  I replied and told him that I would find out.  I asked if having cats would change his RSVP, or if he could take some kind of medecine to cope if there are cats.  His response was this:

"I can take a Benadryl, but I don't like taking medication if I don't have to.  I will avoid sitting on furniture, except at the dining room table, and that will help.  It would also help if you could tell her to keep the cats in a separate room while we're all there."

I'm starting to feel like I'm in a hidden camera tv show.  

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@TenderMercies  LOL re hidden camera show!

[Cakers3]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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@TenderMerciesWho the heck wants fish on TD besides Debra Barone?  LOL

What would these folks have to eat if that invitation was not sent out?  PIckings on TD are pretty slim as far as open restaurants-where they would still be trying to eat something that suits their palate.

Vegan/vegetarians can find something at that dinner; and gluten-free is also available.

It isn't a restaurant; I agree-accept it or go elsewhere and good luck with that.

Most higher end restaurants, which would be able to cater to specific palates, are not open around here on TD.

[Cakers3]

Also they have been given enough notice to go out and get a ready-made dish to bring if they absolutely have something in mind.

I wouldn't bring the fish, though.  blah.

[TenderMercies]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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@TenderMerciesWho the heck wants fish on TD besides Debra Barone?  LOL

What would these folks have to eat if that invitation was not sent out?  PIckings on TD are pretty slim as far as open restaurants-where they would still be trying to eat something that suits their palate.

Vegan/vegetarians can find something at that dinner; and gluten-free is also available.

It isn't a restaurant; I agree-accept it or go elsewhere and good luck with that.

Most higher end restaurants, which would be able to cater to specific palates, are not open around here on TD.

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@Cakers3 Debra Barone! That episode is so funny. Did you read my most recent post about how the guy who asked for the fish also asked to get rid of the cats?  Next he’ll be specifically asking for branzino!

[Cakers3]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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@TenderMerciesWho the heck wants fish on TD besides Debra Barone?  LOL

What would these folks have to eat if that invitation was not sent out?  PIckings on TD are pretty slim as far as open restaurants-where they would still be trying to eat something that suits their palate.

Vegan/vegetarians can find something at that dinner; and gluten-free is also available.

It isn't a restaurant; I agree-accept it or go elsewhere and good luck with that.

Most higher end restaurants, which would be able to cater to specific palates, are not open around here on TD.

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@Cakers3 Debra Barone! That episode is so funny. Did you read my most recent post about how the guy who asked for the fish also asked to get rid of the cats?  Next he’ll be specifically asking for branzino!

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@TenderMercies  He sounds a tad self-centered, although I agree that the cats should be out of sight, period, regardless of this guest.  My suspicion will be that this person is not going to be happy no matter what the host does to please him.

A branzino.  LOL  Yeah, just call your local fishery and whip one up.  If you can find it.

[occasionalrain]

I pity the host. Imagine what behavior this family will have to endure from these boorish, rude guests. I doubt she'll be inviting employees to future dinners.

[Irshgrl31201]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@sfnative wrote:

@TenderMercies

It was a very nicce gesture to invite these employees over for a Thanksgiving dinner.

That said, if the 2 replies you referenced are verbatim, then they really could have been "cleaned up" prior to being sent as part of the RSVP.

On the other hand, in this ever evolving world of ours, the culture of food has changed big time and we need to keep up with it.  I learned 3 years ago that I have gluten, soy and dairy antigens, so must make every effort not to ingest foods with these products in them.  They actually make my large intentine ill and cause bad D.

And, one has to admit there are millions of vegetarians and vegans in our food culture as well.  Vegetarians will often indicate that they will take a fish entre as an option.

What I'm trying to say, and this is based on my experience as an event coordinator outside of the scope of my profession, is that when planning any group gathering, it's always a smart thing to allow an opening for prospective guests to provide feedback regarding prohibitions in their personal food plans.  One thing many folks don't know is that an allergy or intolerance to dairy products is quite common amongst Asians.  Because I know this, I always keep dairy absent from meals being served to groups when I know a certain portion of the population will be Asian.

As a hostess or an aid to the hostess, be positive about the entire experience, the goal of which is to provide the best possible Thanksgiving dinner possible.  If the guests are met with attitude up front, that rather defeats the goal of "Thanks"-giving.

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@sfnative I have no doubt the hostess will inquire about dietary needs, and I will happily tell her there are two vegetarians and a gluten-free individual.  I don’t think there’s any issue here with the hostess here.  The issue is that these employees could have finessed their RSVPs and simply said something like “If she inquires about dietary needs, please remember I don’t eat gluten” rather than “Im gluten-free, so I’ll need options.”  This thread was not intended to be about how to be a conscientious hostess, it was about how some have forgotten how to be a conscientious guest.

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Exactly @TenderMercies. It still stuns me how ill mannered some people are. Its Thanksgiving and these people were invited as guests so they weren't alone. We all know to a certain extent what is on Thanksgiving day menus. If you don't like it, stay back and order room service. No one will miss them, I am sure.

[stevieb]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch

the phrase "vegetarian options" says it all. the guest is not demanding fish.

it is not difficult to provide vegetarian options on a thanksgiving table.

it is also not difficult to let the host know the responses received along with the total number of guests.

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@sunshine45  Are you reading the same OP as me?

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evidently we see this differently @JeanLouiseFinch.

if a person has dietary restrictions and they want them known, then the host really should be informed. if they choose not to accomodate an EASY REQUEST for simple vegetables, then fine....let the guest know. i dont think it is right not to let the host know of this situation and let it be decided from there. if there wont be any options then this can be relayed to the guest easily via email. they can then make other plans if they choose. these are MY opinions obviously.

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I don't think the issue is with whether or not dietary restrictions could be noted, but as is so often the case, it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it... To have simply expressed appreciation for the invitation and perhaps asked whether having their needs met would be a problem might have been perceived more favorably than coming across like they were placing an order with Flo at the diner...