Community Chat

[stevieb]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@faeriemoon wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Mj12 wrote:

Just curious, if (after rsvps are in) the hostess for some reason doesn't inquire about dietary restrictions, will you advise her of them?

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@Mj12  Good questions.  I will send an email to my boss that says:

"Just so you know, I've had a few guests remind me that they are vegetarian and gluten-free.  I don't expect (board member) to make special dishes for them, especially when I imagine there will be ample options if the dinner incudes what a traditional Thanksgiving entails.  However, I also don't want (board member) to be caught off card or feel like she didn't get all necessary information about her guests, as that might be awkward if a conversation arises about these dietary issues."

Then my boss can deal with it if he wants to, and I've covered my own rear end.  

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A simple "How would you like me to handle it" after the first sentance would be the professional way to address it with your boss..

Also is anyone actually talking to eachother or is this all email communication.  A mass email really is not the same as a personal invitation, that may have something to do with the tone of the responses.

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I don't think she shoud put herself in the middle of this situation any more than she already is.  She passing on the information; she shouldn't have to handle anything to do with a dinner invitation to a party she is not hosting.

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Was apparently asked to do something by her boss.  If she felt it was not part of her "job" then she should have said something then.  To do a job halfway then dump it on someone else is not how things should be done.  At least not if one is being professional

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Oh please, she sent the invitation as requested, she followed up as requested and she's advised her boss of the special requests... That's not a job half done. She isn't throwing this shindig and it isn't incumbent upon her to see it thorough any more than she already has. If her boss wants her to follow-up further, it seems likely he'll let her know...

[stevieb]

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@faeriemoon wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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You may not agree however I am standing by assessment of the situation.

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It really is getting pretty comical that you are continuing to tell her how to do her job after she has told you that she did exactly as she was supposed to do, and was instructed to do.

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@faeriemoon Yea, I guess 'comical' is one way to look at it...

[stevieb]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

UPDATE:

I thought I'd give an update.  I spoke with a coworker today who mentioned that she had a conversation yesterday with the board member who is hosting this Thanksgiving dinner. My coworker said that the hostess inquired if there were any food allergies or restrictions among the invited guests, and my coworker passed along that there were 2 vegetarians and a gluten free guest.  She did not pass along the rude way in which these guests made specific requests.  So, that worked out as I suspected.

HOWEVER, as I was finalizing the guest list this morning to send to my boss, the guest who said, "I'd like to request a fish or vegetarian meal" emailed me to inquire if the hostess had pets, because he is allergic to cats.  I replied and told him that I would find out.  I asked if having cats would change his RSVP, or if he could take some kind of medecine to cope if there are cats.  His response was this:

"I can take a Benadryl, but I don't like taking medication if I don't have to.  I will avoid sitting on furniture, except at the dining room table, and that will help.  It would also help if you could tell her to keep the cats in a separate room while we're all there."

I'm starting to feel like I'm in a hidden camera tv show.  

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Now THIS is truly unbelievable... If the host has cats, then this invitee should simply decline the invitation and your company can send him a can of tuna... 

[BriggsiePeawiggle]

If I were one of those invited, having Celiac's disease and knowing what a hassle it always is, I would have politely declined. I always cook my own Thanksgiving meal because it really isn't hard to make a gluten-free, delicious meal, but people who don't have the disease don't know that -- and why would they? So I would say something like, "Thank you so much for the very thoughtful invitation, but I will be unable to attend.

[BriggsiePeawiggle]

Okay, that's just horribly rude. When I graduated from college I had a huge party at our home. We had a dog (still do but that guy has since passed on).Our little dog was a party dude. He absolutely LOVED when people came over and hung out. One woman I invited CAME TO MY DOOR and said, "Can you put your dog in a room upstairs or something? I'm allergic." She never told me she had a problem when she accepted my invitation. She told me at the door. I figured since she was being rude I could also just tell her that I could not do that to my dog, and sorry about it. She came in anyway. This was the woman who had a huge sign on her front door that said, YOU MAY NOT SMOKE IN MY HOUSE. I thought that was so rude. My husband who does smoke would never have smoked in their house anyway, and that stupid sign was just obnoxious.

[Isobel Archer]

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@stevieb wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch

the phrase "vegetarian options" says it all. the guest is not demanding fish.

it is not difficult to provide vegetarian options on a thanksgiving table.

it is also not difficult to let the host know the responses received along with the total number of guests.

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@sunshine45  Are you reading the same OP as me?

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evidently we see this differently @JeanLouiseFinch.

if a person has dietary restrictions and they want them known, then the host really should be informed. if they choose not to accomodate an EASY REQUEST for simple vegetables, then fine....let the guest know. i dont think it is right not to let the host know of this situation and let it be decided from there. if there wont be any options then this can be relayed to the guest easily via email. they can then make other plans if they choose. these are MY opinions obviously.

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I don't think the issue is with whether or not dietary restrictions could be noted, but as is so often the case, it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it... To have simply expressed appreciation for the invitation and perhaps asked whether having their needs met would be a problem might have been perceived more favorably than coming across like they were placing an order with Flo at the diner...

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@stevieb wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch

the phrase "vegetarian options" says it all. the guest is not demanding fish.

it is not difficult to provide vegetarian options on a thanksgiving table.

it is also not difficult to let the host know the responses received along with the total number of guests.

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@sunshine45  Are you reading the same OP as me?

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evidently we see this differently @JeanLouiseFinch.

if a person has dietary restrictions and they want them known, then the host really should be informed. if they choose not to accomodate an EASY REQUEST for simple vegetables, then fine....let the guest know. i dont think it is right not to let the host know of this situation and let it be decided from there. if there wont be any options then this can be relayed to the guest easily via email. they can then make other plans if they choose. these are MY opinions obviously.

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I don't think the issue is with whether or not dietary restrictions could be noted, but as is so often the case, it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it... To have simply expressed appreciation for the invitation and perhaps asked whether having their needs met would be a problem might have been perceived more favorably than coming across like they were placing an order with Flo at the diner...

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Exactly - the part about - "tell her" (not ask her) to put the cat in another room - and "I won't sit on the furniture" - was especially rude.  

If he's like this via email, I can only imagine how ungracious he is in person - especially when he feels the need to explain to everyone why he's not sitting on the furniture.

[gidgetgh]

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@BriggsiePeawiggle wrote:

If I were one of those invited, having Celiac's disease and knowing what a hassle it always is, I would have politely declined. I always cook my own Thanksgiving meal because it really isn't hard to make a gluten-free, delicious meal, but people who don't have the disease don't know that -- and why would they? So I would say something like, "Thank you so much for the very thoughtful invitation, but I will be unable to attend.

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@BriggsiePeawiggle- exactly!  If I were invited, I would have declined anyway, since I would barely know anyone there since I'm a temporary worker.  

For me personally, hopefully my hotel room would have a refrigerator and I'd order pizza the day before Thanksgiving and eat cold leftover pizza in my jammies on Thanksgiving Day in my hotel room, shop online and would be as happy as a clam.  Seriously.

I would never expect anyone to make special meals for me.

[Bridgegal]

I would have said  "I'm sorry her traditional Thanksgiving dinner doesn't work for you and hope you have a wonderful holiday."

But I'm old and crankky.

I just saw the part about the cat.   I would have repeated that response again to the cat allergy person.  

Good grief.   

[stevieb]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

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@stevieb wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch

the phrase "vegetarian options" says it all. the guest is not demanding fish.

it is not difficult to provide vegetarian options on a thanksgiving table.

it is also not difficult to let the host know the responses received along with the total number of guests.

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@sunshine45  Are you reading the same OP as me?

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evidently we see this differently @JeanLouiseFinch.

if a person has dietary restrictions and they want them known, then the host really should be informed. if they choose not to accomodate an EASY REQUEST for simple vegetables, then fine....let the guest know. i dont think it is right not to let the host know of this situation and let it be decided from there. if there wont be any options then this can be relayed to the guest easily via email. they can then make other plans if they choose. these are MY opinions obviously.

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I don't think the issue is with whether or not dietary restrictions could be noted, but as is so often the case, it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it... To have simply expressed appreciation for the invitation and perhaps asked whether having their needs met would be a problem might have been perceived more favorably than coming across like they were placing an order with Flo at the diner...

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@stevieb wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch

the phrase "vegetarian options" says it all. the guest is not demanding fish.

it is not difficult to provide vegetarian options on a thanksgiving table.

it is also not difficult to let the host know the responses received along with the total number of guests.

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@sunshine45  Are you reading the same OP as me?

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evidently we see this differently @JeanLouiseFinch.

if a person has dietary restrictions and they want them known, then the host really should be informed. if they choose not to accomodate an EASY REQUEST for simple vegetables, then fine....let the guest know. i dont think it is right not to let the host know of this situation and let it be decided from there. if there wont be any options then this can be relayed to the guest easily via email. they can then make other plans if they choose. these are MY opinions obviously.

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I don't think the issue is with whether or not dietary restrictions could be noted, but as is so often the case, it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it... To have simply expressed appreciation for the invitation and perhaps asked whether having their needs met would be a problem might have been perceived more favorably than coming across like they were placing an order with Flo at the diner...

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Exactly - the part about - "tell her" (not ask her) to put the cat in another room - and "I won't sit on the furniture" - was especially rude.  

If he's like this via email, I can only imagine how ungracious he is in person - especially when he feels the need to explain to everyone why he's not sitting on the furniture.

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Agreed. I think this potential guest is confused about who is doing whom the favor...He seems to think he's doing his hostess the favor by attending... not that she's doing him the favor by inviting him...

[LilacTree]

My daughters bring their own food when they are eating out, whether it's a friend or family.  I assume they will just eat what is available at my niece's house this year.  She always has it catered and there are dozens of choices.

Me . . . I'm taking off for a day and will "dig in" happily.  I miss some foods so much!!  I eat like a bird anyway, so just a taste of this and that won't hurt me.

Re the point of this OP, I think it is more than rude to suggest menu options be added to suit certain diets.  Just don't go.