Community Chat

[SahmIam]

@TenderMercies  Look, people today are simply rude. Doesn't matter the age, they are. Absolutely there are also exceptions to this and thank goodness for that!  In the end, as long as hosts go "oh, okay, well I'll make this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and......... for you, don't worry!!" people are going to keep on being rude.

Many with food issues have pointed out the obvious: we inform the host and bring a dish we can eat. We do NOT ask the host to change their menu and/or pay for ingredients and then cook something just for us in addition to everything else they are making. THose that simply want to follow a specific eating plan because it's in fashion can go %*^^( themselves.

I hear you and understand 100% what you are feeling. Trust me....I do. It took a birthday party for one of my children for me to finally see the light and say NO MORE to this cr@p with people. I sincerely hope your host does what he/she intended with the Special Snowflakes either not attending or bringing their own dish. 

[sunshine45]

as a frequent host, i do like to know if any of my guests have special requests or needs regarding food. i would get in touch with the host and let him or her know that a few people have requested gluten free/vegetarian options. it is NOT difficult at all to accomodate these requests and the host may very well prefer to know in advance.

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

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It was made clear to them that this was a gracious invitation from a long time member of the board of directors to share Thanksgiving dinner with her family in her home. 

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Are you invited?

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Yes, but I declined.  I have my own plans as I am not an out of town guest.  Plus, at this point, I can think of nothing more tedious than spending my day off with these people.  What does that have to do with anything?

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I was hoping for your sake you would not have to deal with these people. 

[Marp]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are. 

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@AngusandBuddhasMom If you are a pescatarian or vegetarian, then you can eat stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  If you are gluten free, you can eat turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  I am not asking a board member to make special meals for these people when there will already be plenty of options.

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Maybe not the stuffing, it usually has either turkey or chicken broth.

Have you at least mentioned the responses to the board member?  S/he may very well feel that accomodating the responders is no big deal and may only require tweaking a recipe or two.  I know if someone withheld information from me or made an unauthorized decision on my behalf I would not be a happy camper.

[TenderMercies]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

as a frequent host, i do like to know if any of my guests have special requests or needs regarding food. i would get in touch with the host and let him or her know that a few people have requested gluten free/vegetarian options. it is NOT difficult at all to accomodate these requests and the host may very well prefer to know in advance.

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Yes, and if the hostess asks me if there are any special dietary requests or needs, I will absolutely tell her that I have someone who keeps gluten free, a vegetarian, and a pescatarian.  I am not, however, going to call up a board member, and tell her that she has to make a tofurkey and bake a fish on Thaksgiving.  

[Mj12]

I have a severe food allergy (peanuts); I never ask people to 'make concessions' or change any menus.  I just end up not eating much because I don't know what might be in something or how it was prepared.  Once in a while, a host will ask beforehand if there are any dietary restrictions, then I'll speak up.  Otherwise I just go and do the best I can with what is there - then eat afterwards.  Not a big deal.  But don't get so offended that a few people brought it up.

[TenderMercies]

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@Mj12 wrote:

I have a severe food allergy (peanuts); I never ask people to 'make concessions' or change any menus.  I just end up not eating much because I don't know what might be in something or how it was prepared.  Once in a while, a host will ask beforehand if there are any dietary restrictions, then I'll speak up.  Otherwise I just go and do the best I can with what is there - then eat afterwards.  Not a big deal.  But don't get so offended that a few people brought it up.

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None of these people have allergies, or I would have mentioned that to the hostess.  When these employees sign their contracts, they also fill out an Emergency Medical Form which has them list any kind of illness, medication, emergency contact, and allergies.  In many ways, I probably know more about their medical issues than their family members.

[sunshine45]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

as a frequent host, i do like to know if any of my guests have special requests or needs regarding food. i would get in touch with the host and let him or her know that a few people have requested gluten free/vegetarian options. it is NOT difficult at all to accomodate these requests and the host may very well prefer to know in advance.

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Yes, and if the hostess asks me if there are any special dietary requests or needs, I will absolutely tell her that I have someone who keeps gluten free, a vegetarian, and a pescatarian.  I am not, however, going to call up a board member, and tell her that she has to make a tofurkey and bake a fish on Thaksgiving.  

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i think it is wrong to NOT contact the host, especially if you are the go between. i dont think you have to make a tofurkey or even bake a fish, but LOTS of vegetarian options as i suggested would fill the bill for both people. it is not difficult either to order a beautiful smoked salmon platter if the host wanted to.

[JJsMom]

Are you sure the person who invited them didn't ask them to provide dietary restrictions? Your post said you sent out an email after they had been invited, or was your email their first and only notice of this dinner?

A good host usually tries to accommodate his/her guests. Is this dinner actually on Thanksgiving?

[Zhills]

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@summerwind wrote:

Agreed. My son is vegan, and never expects anyone to make concessions for him. We love him, and I have made adjustments where possible, but we still have meat etc. at family meals, and he brings something for himself, also.

Last year, I made a vegan pumpkin pie, and probably will again this year. It was actually pretty good.  Looking for a vegan corn pudding/casserole recipe this year, might be a bit of a challenge.

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Corn Casserole 
Serves 6

Ingredients:

• 1 cup whole milk *
• 5 Tablespoons cornstarch
• 2 Tablespoons sugar
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 1 14.75-ounce can cream corn
• 1 15.25-ounce can whole kernel sweet corn, drained
• ¼ cup butter *
• Salt and pepper, to taste

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a saucepan, mix together the milk and cornstarch over low heat. Mix continuously for 5 minutes.
3. Add all the other ingredients in the order given. Continue stirring slowly until the mixture thickens.
4. Pour mixture into a casserole dish and bake, uncovered, for 45-55 minutes, or until the top is bubbly and golden brown.

* This recipe is already gluten-free, but it can also be made dairy-free by substituting unsweetened almond milk for whole milk and vegan buttery spread for butter.

Top with any gluten free breadcrumbs.   I would add thawed frozen broccoli, cut 1/2" and make a Broccoli Corn Casserole.  (Search on here)