Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

Just a tangential comment regarding adults' behavior: When our daughter got married, she of course sent thank you notes for each gift. At some point she told me that she was embarrassed that she thought she might have lost a gift because there was nothing from a couple who were two of our best friends and whose children went to school with our daughter. I didn't know what to tell her.

Many months later I ran into the woman. Somehow I managed to ask her under the veil of wondering whether their  present somehow didn't make it to my daughter and son-in-law.

She told me sheepishly that they had not yet bought the kids a wedding present. Again, this was months later. She joked that it still hadn't been a year (the old etiquette rule). I just smiled and nodded. They eventually sent a gift, and the kids graciously sent a thank you.

This was the same person who never RSVP'd years before this to our daughter's fourth or fifth birthday party. She was one of several. I somehow got past that to become good friends with her, but I never did forget.

[grandma r]

I just find it odd that some people just don't say thank you, reply to an invitation, or use any common sense when it comes to good manners.  Members of my extended family are included.  My children were all raised with the same values, etc, however, not all remember them.

Seems as if people feel they are too busy and that alone means they don't need to be polite.  There is so much hatred in our world today, just maybe a small, simple act of kindness or politeness might lead to something better.

I doubt much will change;  therefore, I won't hold my breath.

[grandma r]

Spoiler

As a side note, when wedding invitations are ordered, thank you cards are usually part of the package.

When a funeral is planned the funeral home director usually asks if the family wants acknowledgement cards.

Postage rates have gone up, however, I don't think that is an excuse. 

[camelot]

Only a true penny pincher would not send out thank you notices due to price of a first class stamp: .50

[LUVNLIFE]

I would rather not receive a Thank You note or Christmas card if it isn't genuine.

I received a Thank You from a High School grad- "thanks for coming" was all that was written. 

I sent a card with a check because at the time I was ill and couldn't attend.

I also have received Christmas cards from an immediate family member that just signed the card with their first and last name.Impersonal and weird.

[Bubby Mommy]

I used to send Christmas and birthday checks to my niece.  Her father insisted she call and say thank you.  So she called and said, "Thank you for the gift."  I responded saying I was glad she received the card and hoped she would put the money towards something she wanted.  Then I started asking about her life in college and what was going on.....bla bla.  I only heard silence on the phone.  She had said "Thank you for the gift," and then threw the phone on the couch and walked away.  So I was talking like an idiot to the "air."  I never sent her another gift.  

[joannecha]

My brothers 2 kids are the only family that sends out thank you cards. We have another graduation open house coming up and I know we will not be thanked for the $$ we put in the cards. Ditto for friends wedding gifts. It’s like they expect you to give them a gift if you got an invitation. No manners.

[qualitygal]

Maybe for people who have a bad "thank you" record, (receiver) the giver now should set up a date after the "event" for the (receiver) to go get their gift, face to face at the givers home.  Provided it's local.  That way everyone will be happy.  

Came back to add:  things are getting too relaxed now.  No one is accountable, no one's responsible. (Not everyone of course).  People are going their own way, don't care what's going on or what use to be proper manners.  Sloppyness.  Me me me again. But that one statement of talking to thin air after they thanked her...that was like the last straw.

We do have our heroes, we do have good and thoughtful people, of others.  Not everyone is in this basket.  But you see how shameful people think this behavior is.  

[Spurt]

Manners have basically flown out the window for the majority of people these days along with the words responsibility and courtesy.......

My mom and I always went overboard sending my neice and nephews boxes (they live in another state) for birthdays and Christmas, and never once did we receive an acknowledgement by phone or in the mail.  Then when one of my nephews learned to use the computer he was all excited and said we could chat by email....but he never acknowledged gifts or any of my emails.....

When my brother and SIL came to visit she apologized and said she wanted to acknowledge our generosity to the kids, and then laughed and said, "I guess I didn't teach them very well, did I"......I just stared at her and didnt say a think....Afterall, it was a rhetorical question, right???....  Well when the kids became teenagers we stopped the giving them gifts or even a card ..... Why acknowlege someone or go through the expense when you dont even know if they got the gift or if they liked it!!!

What is funny I guess my SIL started to feel guilty, because when I send her and my brother a card, she always sits down and rights a nice thank you note.....

[qualitygal]

Try not sending anything & see if you hear from them then.