Community Chat

[Desertdi]

I'd ignore it..............     

[Yardlie]

@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.

[Yardlie]

@JustJazzmom ... I think this might be a new one for the etiquette books!

[ChynnaBlue]

Too bad you can't just buy her a gift card and put it in an envelope with the business cards of a dozen local therapists.

[Yardlie]

@beckyb1012 ... I've seen others who had that big "let down" after all the planning for the ceremony. They are no longer the center of attention. I just read an article about the millenials stating that they very much desire to be the center of attention and have very different expectations about life, work, happiness, etc. than the baby boomers.

I guess we willl give something, but not like the first time around! You are correct...we would give another gift if she were marrying someone else. I hope this isn't a new trend!

[Yardlie]

@millieshops ... I don't agree with the rule about matching the cost of the dinner for weddings anyway. I like your philosophy. Thanks for your response.

[Cakers3]

This is a no-brainer.  Decline the wedding invitation and move on.  You already know the answer.

I would donate to a local charity in her name.

Ask yourself this - would you expect people to gift your daughter a second time after the first time around failed with the same man????

[Melania]

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@Brinklii wrote:

@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.

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Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.

I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road. 

[Yardlie]

@bri20 ... I didn't look up the gifts yet, but it is my understanding that they registered for things in all price ranges.

[faeriemoon]

I think you have the right idea.  Smaller gift than the first time.  Given your relationship with her, I don't think you can not give a gift particularly when they have registered for gifts.  It's clearly not a no-gift wedding.

As an aside, given her reasons for re-marrying this guy, I don't think the future of the relationship looks promising.  You may need to buy more wedding gifts for her in the future, so pace yourself.