Community Chat

[Yardlie]

This is almost too weird to believe. Would appreciate your opinions. My daughter's friend (who is now 25) is remarrying the same man she married three years ago. She had a huge wedding then, and we gave a lovely gift since we knew her most of her life.

She and her husband hardly even lived together after their first wedding. They were together about four months, and she was constantly coming home to visit mama...without her husband. Sometimes they would both come home. She would stay with her parents, and he would stay with his parents. Anyway, they were divorced by the time they should have been married 9-10 months.

Now, we received another invitation to her wedding...to the same man! My daughter said that her friend feels that her biological clock is ticking away, and she hasn't met anyone else who she wants to marry. They are having a private ceremony with the justice of the peace. A couple weeks later, they will have a big reception for everyone to attend. Her parents said they refuse to pay for the second reception. He is a nice man, but she just seems desperate.

My daughter said they have registered for gifts at several large department stores. My husband thinks we should not give another gift. I think we should give something modest, but not as large as we gave the first time...if for no other reason than she is my daughter's dear friend. My daughter thinks her friend is making another mistake but thinks we should still give a gift.

What would you do? Thanks!

[libbyannE]

Send her a nice card with a warm personal nite. You are not obligated to buy a second gift.

[lolakimono]

@Yardlie

Will you be attending?

[Preds]

Go with your heart.  I would send a nice card with a small gift card and wish the well if you feel you must do something.

[stevieb]

What would I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing. She got her gift the first time around and it's presumptuous of her to register again. She sounds like a flake, dear friend or not. If your daughter thinks she should get another gift, let her provide it on behalf of your family.

[PINKdogWOOD]

Been there, done that @Yardlie.  Sorry, but I'd not be making the 2nd one.  Maybe a card but that would be it.  Wish them good luck, sounds like they'll be needing it.

[JustJazzmom]

This is why you need an etiquette book! J/K

I agree, send a card offering congratulations.

[beckyb1012]

Well hopefully she is happier and wiser now.  Sounds like she got caught up in the whole big bang planning of the first wedding.  A friend of my cousins did that.  Once they came home from the honeymoon (almost immediately) and the party was over and real life began she went back home to Mama.  Big wedding lots of planning and my cousin felt cheated since she had put so much time an effort into the wedding.

Anyway I would give something to the couple since you would if she were marrying someone else.  I hope it works this time.

[Isobel Archer]

You are not obligated to give another gift.  If you really WANT to, of course do it.

Frankly, it seems she should not really expect the same people to gift her again - but then she probably does.

[Pandalady]

Perhaps send a nice card wishing them well and donate the amount you would have spent on a second gift to a charity of your choice in her name.