Reply
Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,266
Registered: ‎10-04-2011

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

The other day, one of my co-workers asked me how much my dad left me in life insurance money.

 

 

 

RUDE!!!

 

 

I told him that I didn't want to say, which was true.

 

 

It's nobody's business how much was left to me.

 

 

 

Has anyone ever asked you a rude question?


@Anonymous032819   many, many times.   My response, many times,  is something I read in an Ann Landers column a million years ago.   I usually say, with a big smile on my face,  "I'll forgive you for asking, if you forgive me for not answering."   And then I walk away. 

 

My favorite response, when I was asked when I was going to have a second child, was this,    "Why would I have a second child when I was blessed with perfection the first time?"    Most people got the hint  and stopped asking.  

You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl. Jersey Girl living in CNY.
Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,400
Registered: ‎06-13-2011

I think I could write a book about all of the rude comments that my late mother-in-law made to me.  

 

The two that really stand out in my mind were while I was dating her son I was telling her how my father died from a heart attack when he was only 53 years old.   Without even saying I'm sorry to hear that or he died too young.   Her comment was "Was he fat".   I was dumbfounded.

I was so shocked that someone could be so crass that the only thing I could say was no he wasn't heavy at all.   I couldn't even think of a retort.  

 

The second rude comment was when she asked me why my first husband left me.  She said was the woman he became involved with much prettier and younger than you were. I can't tell you how much I wanted to punch her.  Instead I just said, no, he was  just an idiot.  On a side note, that same ex-husband just passed away last year leaving behind 6 divorces.  He left his last wife when they were both almost 70 years old.  The old fool never learned how to be faithful to any woman.  He did me a big favor by leaving.   

 

My first in-laws were the sweetest people and even years later they continued to keep in touch with me.  It was such a shock to me to meet my second set of in-laws and find out what jerks they could be.  

 

Even my father-in-law couldn't keep his rude comments in check.   Both of my parents had passed by the time I met my second husband  and I really didn't have any family left so I would occasionally try to inject a word in about my family.  That wasn't easy because these people never cared about hearing anything about my life.  It was all about them.    I was dating their son for over a year before they even asked me where I grew up.    After we became engaged I was talking about how my Dad had worked his whole life in a Steel Mill in PA.   My FIL made the comment, how could anyone work in such a crummy dirty job and why didn't he find something better to do that would give his family a more affluent life.     I'll tell you, I was livid.   I told him my Dad worked hard and  when he passed away he was a general foreman who made a very decent salary.  We never wanted for anything.   My soon to be husband told him to apologize for that rude and obnoxious comment but as usual his father just ignored him and left the room.

 

I put up with these people for 6 years before I just said I'm done.  I told my husband I'll never stop you from seeing your family but I will never go to their house again and they aren't welcome in mine.

 

They've both been gone for years and our marriage survived , but when they passed away I wasn't the least bit sad or sorry.  

 

To this day, my husband tells me how sorry he is for their behavior and how much he appreciated me sticking around.   He tells me he knows many women would have left him soon after meeting his parents.   I can't disagree with him.  

 

My husband is such a good man.   I can't imagine how these people produced such a kind and caring man when they were such unkind people.

 

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,003
Registered: ‎03-14-2010
Rude questions require no answer or acknowledgement at all.
Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,003
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Rude Questions

[ Edited ]

You are so fortunate your husband defended you and stood up to the rude comments and disrespect his parents showed you. I was not as fortunate. We divorced due to my mil.I married a true mama’s boy. Didn’t know until after five minutes before I walked down the aisle when she took me aside and whispered “I will never forgive you for taking my son away from me”. And she never did! Now she is 102 and they are still together...😳

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,400
Registered: ‎06-13-2011

@lovesrecess  I am so sorry that you too had to endure such a battleaxe for a MIL.   Your husband made such a mistake in allowing his mother to control his life.    I'm sure it really hurt at the time, but I know later on you realized that you escaped a situation that would have just made your life miserable.    

 

What a hateful comment to make to the woman who was going to become her DIL.

 

I can't understand why a mother wouldn't be happy that her son has found someone who loves him.    I guess they think it was fine for them to have found a mate and married but their sons should just spend their lives alone.    What a terribly selfish way to think.

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,728
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@lovesrecess wrote:
Rude questions require no answer or acknowledgement at all.

 

That's how I feel too.

 

I especially don't like, "I''ll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering".  Why equate one with the other?  Not sharing personal information is not something I need to be forgiven for.  That's much too playful of a response, IMO.  People who ask rude questions should not be rewarded.

 

I also don't like, "Why would you ask me that?", which I believe is something else Ann Landers had advised.   I'm not interested in confrontation or further discussion.  It's not their business.  Period.

 

Depending on how rude it was, I would either tell them I'm not going to answer, or I would walk away.

 

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,566
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: Rude Questions

[ Edited ]

@KittyLouWhoToo wrote:

Sure they have.  

"Why don't you have any children" is one.

 

I just glare.


4 years after I got married.....I used to have that question.  Besides my mother....  Anyway that was before I had my son.  Thankfully with my son around, no more questions like that.  Except for the inevitible you're only raising one child, when are you going have another?

Highlighted
Valued Contributor
Posts: 885
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

The other day, one of my co-workers asked me how much my dad left me in life insurance money.

 

 

 

RUDE!!!

 

 

I told him that I didn't want to say, which was true.

 

 

It's nobody's business how much was left to me.

 

 

 

Has anyone ever asked you a rude question?

 

 

 

Humans have no common sense anymore.  I would have walked away from this idiot!  Glad you did not tell them anything.  None of their business.  Sheesh!


 

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,566
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Sometimes questions mean another questions.  Since I am raising an only child. The question "When are you going to have another child?" Is really a polite way of asking why you don't have another, so if this child gets run over by a bus, you will have a spare.  

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,492
Registered: ‎03-10-2010
A quizzical look accompanied by, "Why do you need to know that?" probably would have been my response.


What worries you masters you.