Community Chat

[jubilant]

I don't think the people on here are that much different from the people in our work worlds, families, social places, etc..  There's a good representation here of all kinds!!! 

[dooBdoo]

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@jubilant wrote:

I don't think the people on here are that much different from the people in our work worlds, families, social places, etc..  There's a good representation here of all kinds!!! 

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Hi, @jubilant!  I agree, the variety of the real people if we were to meet face-to-face is probably similar to that of the folks we encounter in real life.

The difference is the way some people treat one another when they can hide behind the perceived shield of anonymity on the internet.  Unfortunately, there's a huge (documented) discrepancy there.

[60sgirl]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

I don't think the people on here are that much different from the people in our work worlds, families, social places, etc..  There's a good representation here of all kinds!!! 

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Hi, @jubilant!  I agree, the variety of the real people if we were to meet face-to-face is probably similar to that of the folks we encounter in real life.

The difference is the way some people treat one another when they can hide behind the perceived shield of anonymity on the internet.  Unfortunately, there's a huge (documented) discrepancy there.

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I think that every single person who posts here (as well as any other social media platform) has been or will be either a target of nastiness, or give it out to someone else. I despise when people come on forums and sermonize others as being the perpetrators of nasty when they forget that they have done it too. 

However, some people like to justify their own snark by saying it was warranted or as a result of someone doing it to them. When people are hurt by others words they have a choice, to walk away quietly, punch back, or go off and cry. While there are always a few who gleefully proclaim that no one can hurt them, if there is even an ounce of truth to that, then all I can say is their hearts are deadened. 

Just because we don't know someone does not mean they can't wound us with words. My difference of opinions have gotten me called out as a "know it all" which I find ironic since the person(s) presenting the opposing viewpoint are doing the same thing I am doing but somehow don't consider themselves know it alls, I've also been called an a__ again for stating my belief. 

As my son frequently reminds me, take a look around you when you go out. What do you see? Do you see a lot of people that are disheveled, maybe overweight, dealing with screaming kids, struggling with an old car, givcing you the finger in traffic because you're not driving fast enough? Keep going. Now, these people represent average everyday humans in all walks of life. That's who you are posting with. They can say they are the CEO of a large company behind their computer screens and be nothing more than a character out of Wayne's World posting in their parents' basement.

Keep that in mind when posting on forums., We don't know who people really are, yet we all let them make us feel bad with their words. We all do the same thing. 

[Bird mama]

Sometimes an original post is thought provoking and welcomes civil discourse on a particular subject.  I like to post on those every once in a while.

Many times, when I read an original post, I can tell some is on the muscle, cruising for a fight, 'just looking for it'.

I avoid those.

[cody2]

Gato, I am so happy to see you back. You are one that I really missed. We had many a good debate and I am looking forward to more of them!

[jubilant]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

I don't think the people on here are that much different from the people in our work worlds, families, social places, etc..  There's a good representation here of all kinds!!! 

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Hi, @jubilant!  I agree, the variety of the real people if we were to meet face-to-face is probably similar to that of the folks we encounter in real life.

The difference is the way some people treat one another when they can hide behind the perceived shield of anonymity on the internet.  Unfortunately, there's a huge (documented) discrepancy there.

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Yes, I do think that happens a lot.  It's unfortunate but more for them than us, I think.  It makes all their relationships here so superficial.  They will end up lonely people some day if they choose to continue hiding behind masks.  I think most of us just want to be understood.  Some people have no comprehension of the Golden Rule.  Most of us can be hurt or lose our tempers at times.... but life is teaching me that I need to be more concerned with what God thinks of me than what people think of me.  It seems to free me up to take whatever they say, especially the nasty snarky things and consider that it may come from some deep wound within them as I believe you already referred to in your post.  I think you really hit the mark there.  I have to wake up tomorrow and live with myself.... so I try not to respond in anger or just dismiss any snarky remarks.  Of course, sometimes.....I would like to smack them right in the mouth!!!!!  Ha!!

[occasionalrain]

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@goodstuff wrote:

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@KarenQVC wrote:

I never saw this board as the conflict-driven place others see.  I just saw differences of opinion and high spirits.  I guess it depends on each poster's personality--what they see.  What do you think?

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What always amazed me was how many people got drawn in by negative comments and really hurt or offended by them.  To me, the personalities and hi-jinks here have always been a lot of the fun.  There's no question that some posters "crossed the line" at times........but I chose to take most posts as high-spirited humor and discussion.  I never could understand why anyone would allow comments by anonymous posters on a public chat board to really get under your skin!  Truly offensive posts (bad language, racial comments, etc.) were usually scrubbed by Webbie........and other than that, why all the fuss?  I hope they didn't tear up these very enjoyable forums because a few posters were overly sensitive and thin-skinned!  

When posters really misbehaved, everyone could see it and either respond or put them on ignore (where is that function now?).........and think poorly of them, which was punishment enough.  I don't like intentionally mean-spirited posts, but I think over-editing and over-controlling will make these boards a less enjoyable place.

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 Well said. There are always those who can't seem to consider the source and ignore the rude, the unkind. I've been the recipient of nasty posts and didn't feel the need to have Big Brother step in to protect me. I'm an adult, if I couldn't take it I would stay away not ruin the BB for others

[PamfromCT]

Hi all and especially dooBdoo, What a meaningful post dooBdoo. No, it was hardly a rant. Your post was especially perceptive and thought provoking. We all remember from our childhood "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names (or words) will never hurt me." Oh, so wrong. Words have the power to really wound us. I'll go out on a limb here. When someone goes out of their way to stab with words, they are engaging in BULLYING behavior.
Some bullies grow old, but never grow up.
And if someone tries to belittle a person who gets hurt - "They should be tough enough to take it" - it's also very unacceptable behavior.
'Nuff said?

[occasionalrain]

If unkind words said or written in anger is bullying then everyone is a bully or has been at one time or another. To paint what's been written on Viewpoints as bullying minimizes true bullying.

All anyone needed to do was read some posts to know that Viewpoints sometimes got heated and that some posters were crude and rude. It was their responsibility to decide for themselves if it was for them or if Among Friends would be better. Instead they chose to post and even ask for opinion. 

In effect, they sighed up for dodge ball and then complained that balls were used instead of marshmallows.

[PamfromCT]

Good morning all! In response to the latest post, I guess I'd like to say that no one is perfect. We all have bad moments. There is a difference between being direct and to the point and going on the attack. So, can I get this right? If someone is hurt by a very nasty post, the answer is that they are on the wrong forum? Have I heard you correctly? I do want to understand your viewpoint. As far as bullying, I still maintain that to go out of your way to purposely hurt someone is bullying behavior. I'm not talking about face-to-face situations where I'm sure we all have lost control. Wow, have I said things in anger I wish I could take back. If I have ever offended anyone, I apologize.