Personalities - Page 2

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

Maybe everyone didn't have the "enjoyment" of reading some of what I've read here. But there have been some very cruel and hurtful things said to posters, which anyone with half an ounce of caring for another human being would have found offensive. I don't care if it's an anonymous board, or who those things are said to... many people here post from their hearts, and to have their sentiments torn apart and ridiculed in such harsh ways is not something I find in the least humorous, no matter what excuses are made for it.

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

@kittymomNC wrote:
Maybe everyone didn't have the "enjoyment" of reading some of what I've read here. But there have been some very cruel and hurtful things said to posters, which anyone with half an ounce of caring for another human being would have found offensive. I don't care if it's an anonymous board, or who those things are said to... many people here post from their hearts, and to have their sentiments torn apart and ridiculed in such harsh ways is not something I find in the least humorous, no matter what excuses are made for it.

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

steiny3844 · ‎12-21-2012

I'm this will sound crazy to some, but I tend to agree with the OP. That's not to say that some topics didn't get mean spirited. I enjoyed the posters that were able to explain their side of a subject in well writen entries, whether I agreed with them or not. Some of those posters don't seem to be here any more, and that's a shame. Maybe I was just lucky, but when I saw people going after a poster it was because of a mean spirited post. I'm not someone who posted negative remarks. I just kind of find what's left of the forum isn't as interesting as it was before.

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

All some people had to do was voice their opinion and got jumped on.. you mention anything personal and dear to your heart and they got down right cruel, and yes they are still posting happily away.. I didn't come on here to be shredded or told how I was or how I post.. those days are over! I'd like o think that those people don't treat other's in their real life as they have to other's on our BB...

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

We all enjoy the stimulation of sharing views on many topics. I certainly do. However, there are a FEW posters who either can't agree to disagree or make very hurtful comments to others. I guess being being relatively anonymous serves as a vent for some unhappy people. On the other hand, there are so many posters you can count on to be kind and helpful. They are "the adults in the room."

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

I dislike condescending posts more than hateful posts. At least hateful posts are easy to see. Condescending posts are worded to look like they are just being "helpful," when actually they are talking down to an individual and belittling them. All the while they are claiming to be "friends." Worse than out and out enemies, if you ask me.

Many can't read between the lines and begin to jump on the bandwagon with posters like these. To them it looks to be all "innocent," when it isn't.

JMO, as it is said.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

FLgardener · ‎12-15-2013

@kittymomNC wrote:
Maybe everyone didn't have the "enjoyment" of reading some of what I've read here. But there have been some very cruel and hurtful things said to posters, which anyone with half an ounce of caring for another human being would have found offensive. I don't care if it's an anonymous board, or who those things are said to... many people here post from their hearts, and to have their sentiments torn apart and ridiculed in such harsh ways is not something I find in the least humorous, no matter what excuses are made for it.

This is so well said. I am taken aback at some of the personal stories and issues people have put out on this forum, but my reaction to almost all of them is not to post. Some of these folks are troubled and fragile. I would hate to think I caused them harm at a vulnerable time.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

@KarenQVC, I don’t think we’ve posted together before, but you raise an interesting topic and I appreciate that. Perhaps some of the differences in perception come from the fact that we’re not here 24/7 so we don’t see all the posts.

I’ve said before, I enjoy civil discussions with people who hold a variety of views because nothing new is learned by surrounding yourself only with those who agree with you. Civil is the key, and it takes time, thought and effort to discuss topics without stooping to personal attacks (those aren’t cute, clever, or impressive… cheap shots are called that for a reason).

This is one reason I find myself posting less and less here… I’m saddened by seeing an obsession by a few to inflict pain on others on these forums (Viewpoints/Community Chat in particular).

There’s a huge difference between offering opposing views passionately (which I suppose is differences of opinions with high spirits) and making cruel, personal attacks on other human beings. Repeat: other human beings. I think it’s easy to forget, on the internet, that each of those nicknames is attached to a living, breathing person… someone’s loved one, someone who might be dealing with tragedy or painful challenges in their real life and want or need to use the internet as a distraction.

We're not robots. We're not toys to bat around on this anonymous forum.

People forget the humanity. It’s interesting, in this same vein, to read about the psychology of people who act more aggressively, angrily when driving because of the perceived shield or “bubble” of their car. Often you’ll hear folks say they’re not the same when they engage a person face-to-face, but in a car they morph into someone they don’t recognize.

Same thing with anonymous posting on the net. There’s a perceived protective shield when using anonymous nicknames, and even good people sometimes transform into hurtful posters. Sometimes they don’t realize it (self-awareness is difficult), other times they’re carrying forward old grudges, and in some instances we see those who get some sort of joy and satisfaction from hurting others. But then… oftentimes the person inflicting pain is actually someone who’s hurting. (The old adage that “hurt (adjective) people hurt (verb) people” is true.)

In addition, the written word is dreadfully inadequate. So, sometimes we make mistakes in our attempt to post something (I know I stumble all the time), others misinterpret our posts and instead of confronting us so we can clear it up turn it into a grudge, and we find all sorts of negative, unpleasant undercurrents and passive-agressive remarks.

The end result? Some posters actually do feel pain from being attacked, so the damage is done to them. Also, the attackers show the world their true character, so the damage is done to them. And in the process, some of the onlookers feel the damage, too. I’m not ashamed to say it physically hurts me to see others being shredded, torn to tiny pieces by others. To paraphrase Donne, “Any person’s pain diminishes me, because I am involved in humankind.”

My apologies for the rant. Not a good day/time for me… not feeling at all well and I’ve been thinking about this topic for the past few days.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

muttmom · ‎11-28-2012

@LilacTree wrote:
I dislike condescending posts more than hateful posts. At least hateful posts are easy to see. Condescending posts are worded to look like they are just being "helpful," when actually they are talking down to an individual and belittling them. All the while they are claiming to be "friends." Worse than out and out enemies, if you ask me.

Many can't read between the lines and begin to jump on the bandwagon with posters like these. To them it looks to be all "innocent," when it isn't.

JMO, as it is said.

I've found that unless I respond to your post as you like, then your response is condescending.

I can say with all honesty, I posted what I did because I could see your daughter's name.

I jump on no one's bandwagon.

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

@dooBdoo wrote:

The end result? Some posters actually do feel pain from being attacked, so the damage is done to them. Also, the attackers show the world their true character, so the damage is done to them. And in the process, some of the onlookers feel the damage, too. I’m not ashamed to say it physically hurts me to see others being shredded, torn to tiny pieces by others. To paraphrase Donne, “Any person’s pain diminishes me, because I am involved in humankind.”

My apologies for the rant. Not a good day/time for me… not feeling at all well and I’ve been thinking about this topic for the past few days.

dooBdoo, I deleted most of your post for the sake of space, but I just had to say you did an outstanding job with it. You always are a voice of reason, but you went "beyond" on this one. Thank you for posting it, and I hope you'll come back more often. I miss you! As I said somewhere else (don't remember where), I haven't seen nearly as much of the really mean posts here since the new forum started. I don't know the reason, but I'm glad of it.

I sincerely hope you will feel better very soon!