Community Chat

[NjsKillingme]

On 2/24/2015 Rowan72 said:

Thank you for this beautiful post Rowan72

[NjsKillingme]

On 2/24/2015 Hooty said:

On 2/24/2015 RetRN said:

I am sorry for your loss. I would not give SIL death certificate, never heard of such a request.

Neither have I .... she has no reason to have a copy of her brother's death certificate!

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your husband, (((HUGS)))

Thank you Hooty.

[chrystaltree]

Sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you. I can only imagine what you are going through. Did you ask her why she wants a copy of the death certificate? If they weren't close and weren't even on good terms, it's not likely that took out a policy on him. I also don't know what personal business of yours would be on your husband's death certificate. Yes, you certainly are within your rights to politely decline but first think, really think hard about why you can't just send her copy. If you just want to continue the fighting and animosity that your husband had with his family; fine. You can do that. But what would that accomplish? While I can't think of reason why she would need or want the death certificate, there could be a good reason. So, just ask the woman. Then decide if you will comply or not.

[SelahG]

Since she showed no respect to your husband during his lifetime, I don't think I would give her the time of day, until she offered up some very good explanation for the need of the death certificate.

You are in early mourning for your husband---she should be offering you her support and condolences. I certainly do, and my prayers are with you.

[Allegheny]

I would like to extend my condolences. I can only imagine how devastated you must be. I often think how lost I will feel if my husband passes before me. We married later in life and have no children. I am close with his family, but they do live a distance from us.

Your SIL's request does seem quite bizarre to me particularly since she and your husband did not get along and haven't seen each other in many years. If said she was keeping a record of the family genealogy that would be different, but as she didn't express her reason, I would be leery and just keep forgetting to send her a copy. I would take into consideration what your husband would want you to do.

[shamalamadingdong4]

I am so very sorry on the loss of your husband. Losing your life partner and best friend is horrible, and your SIL is bothering you with this? Right now, you should do what feels best for you and your immediate family. I personally would not respond to such an odd request, and that includes asking her why she made it. But that's up to you. My very best wishes to you at this terrible time.

[Kachina624]

States have gotten somewhat particular about to whom they issue birth and death certificates because they can be used for identy theft.

[missy1]

My condolences. If she is a life insurance beneficiary she will need it. I am not sure how to obtain one if you are not the spouse. I do think it is public info.

[goodstuff]

So sorry for your loss, and I wish you peace and healing.

I think I'd mention your SIL's request to the attorney who is handling your husband's will and get his advice. As a sibling of the deceased, I imagine your SIL can obtain a death certificate anyway if she wants one, so I don't see much point in refusing her request........and providing the certificate may avoid unnecessary bad feelings. See what your attorney recommends and act accordingly.

[esmeraldagooch]

I'm sorry for your loss. The first thing in my mind was she bought life insurance on him and needed it for the payout. I don't believe it's hard to do on anyone. I don't know that I would choose to give her a copy and you don't owe her one.