Community Chat

[ROMARY]

The SIL could have waited or obtained the DC on her own. So sorry for your loss. I'd just forget about it. If she persists, I'd even say that I can't find it anywhere right now.

[Love my grandkids]

I said it before and I say it again: Give her NOTHING. Don't even ask her why she wants it. She is showing NO respect for your late husband or you.

Let her get it on her own...if she can.

[Lilysmom]

OP, I am sorry for your loss. Such a difficult time for you.

It struck me as I read the posts that your SIL may wish the information for medical purposes. I come from a large family. There is a lot of cancer in my family. I have one sister who is interested in everything medical, sometimes to a fault.she discusses all her family history with her MD. Perhaps it is for this reason your SIL is asking.

I don't think I would go out of my way to accommodate the request. If she asks again, ask her why she wants the information. If you think it's a valid reason, tell her she can request a copy herself. If not, just ignore.

Best wishes. LM

[Luma2]

In NYS, although she would be eligible to get a death certificate, she would have to fill out forms (provide ids), pay fees ($22 for genealogy copy, $30 for certified copy), and may take months to be fulfilled. Giving her a photocopy would save her time, effort, and money. If you do not want to make it easy for her, and/or are not comfortable sending a photocopy, you could transcribe info you don't mind passing on to her from the document (leaving out anything you don't want her to see), and e-mail or snail mail it to her. Or as others have said, you could "forget" that she ever asked.

[Luma2]

Just had another thought - does she need it to get reduced air fare to attend the funeral?

Don't know for sure if airlines are still doing this . . .

[Love my grandkids]

Doesn't sound like the sister would go to the funeral, based on her history with the OP's late DH. I wouldn't give her the time of day, much less anything she asked for.

[NjsKillingme]

Hi Goodstuff, actually I probated the Will myself with no problems. I was the sole beneficiary of everything .  My issue is that they were never close and he actually hated her ( sorry to say). I even contemplated not calling her at all when he was in the hospital but I wanted to do the right thing and give anybody a chance to see him for the last time if they wanted to. She hasn't asked me since for one. 

[NjsKillingme]

Hi Luma2, no they all live within 5 miles of each other ( he has 2 sisters and never bothered with either one, he was a lone wolf when it came to his siblings ) . I had him cremated because I wanted to bring him home to his comfortable bedroom, it was February so I didn't want to put him in the ground in such cold weather.  He is warm and safe next to his TV that he loved. Sounds crazy I know, but he was a homebody and loved his quiet life in his home. 

[SharkE]

Got something to do with money if she just wanted a obit she could have copied out of paper or online.

Most institutions won't pay out unless they have a death certificate. Sounds like she's wanting to cash in on something. If he had wanted her to have something he would have gave to her while he was living. Just my opinion.

Sorry for your loss. God Bless You.

[NjsKillingme]

Hi MaizeandBlue,  there was a will for sure and I had all my "I's" dotted and all my "T's" crossed for sure. Him and I have worked way to hard to have someone try to get anything from us just because they are greedy.