Community Chat

[Plaid Pants2]

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@Carmie wrote:

This lady was also my  neighbor from my childhood neighborhood.   I have known her forever. 

The kids, me included, used to go to her house for drinks and Italian cookies because she lived across the street from the playground. She was a great friend to my parents.

She must be in her upper 80's in age. 

We gave her her a check, so no worries about her stealing money.  I am not angry, just concerned.  This is so not her MO. 

After Christmas, I think I will give her daughter a call.  There has to be something wrong.

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G-d bless you for being concerned for your neighbor friend!

Not everybody has someone as good and caring as you to look out for them.

She's one lucky lady to have you as a neighbor-friend.

[cherry]

@Carmieknowing her as long as you have ,you have a good idea about her character

I think you are doing the right thing to contact her daugher. It sounds as if she  could have  alzheimers, she must be  elderly

[nun ya]

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@cherry wrote:

@Carmieknowing her as long as you have ,you have a good idea about her character

I think you are doing the right thing to contact her daugher. It sounds as if she  could have  alzheimers, she must be  elderly

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yes, that's a good idea. something is obviously off in her behavior.

[debic]

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@Marp wrote:

If she would take the cookies and essentially sneak out I would be questioning what she is actually doing with the money she is collecting.

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This would be the only answer for me.   It's bizarre to jump the bandwagon on her having dementia because she made off with cookies.

[Carmie]

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@ROMARY wrote:

All I can say is that I could write a book......And then, one day, I was watching a TV show in which they were talking about dementia and Alsheimer's.  At the end of the segment one of the doctors was going over the various symptoms and then said that a person continuously stealing things is or could be one of the symptoms of one or both of those medical disorders.  (Although, I'm only guessing that if they have also been doing it in their younger, mid-life years, it could be a psychological problem?)

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My MIL used to walk to a local market and purchase food.  On the way out, she would add more things to her bag and not pay for them.  The store called the police, who in turn called my husband.  He saw the video and couldn't believe it.  She wasn't arrested. 

My husband asked the store to keep a tally of the things she took and he would pay the bill every week.  The store said no, they did not want her in there at all.

My DH called his sister and they went to Mom's house to confront her.  She had no idea that she was doing this.  In a spare bedroom, they found grocery bags of food with the same items in each of them.

 One of the items was a head of cabbage.  She went to the store everyday for weeks and purchased the same items over and over again.  The cabbage was stinky and my OCD clean crazy mother-in-law never noticed.

They took her for a screening and she was at the beginning of Alzheimers.  

I can't help but wonder if my neighbor is having a problem too.

[Allegheny]

@Carmie  I am glad you seem understanding about this situation.  I am on the fence whether she intentionally lifted the package, preferring to think she may have gotten confused thinking the holiday bag was a friendly gesture.  What bothers me is that she exited so quickly, almost like what a child may do when they get enticed by something.

[Lucky Charm]

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@nun ya wrote:

If she left while you were in the bathroom, she knew what she was doing. She couldn't wait until you were done to leave?

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That is a little *suspect*, I agree.

To leave during the few minutes Carmie left the room.  And to announce it.

If she had just quietdly wandered off and the cookies went missing kind of goes hand in hand with a possible problem.

I guess I'm surprised the woman didn't also say 'Thank you for the donation!'  And if she thought the gift bag was for her, she would've also thanked her for that.

Me, I'd probably make more, put them in a gift bag and take them to her door.  If she opens it....I'd say 'Here's some goodies I made for you.  I think I forgot to give them to you the other day!' 

That would make things clearer. 

Either she'll tell you she already got the bag--or she'll take the bag of goodies, not acknowledging the bag she took.

You will be able to tell if she's confused or not and then you can take if from there.  If you think she is declining, then definitively a call to her daughter, just to make sure she's aware there may be a problem.  She may not know at this point.

That would be unfortunate, if that were the case.

[cherry]

@Carmiehiding things is also a symptom.  I volunteered at a thrift shop  years ago. A woman came in with clothing  from her late husband who died  from alzheimers disease

We always went over  donations ,in our marking room. Stuck in the toe of one of his shoes, was a wad of cash. We called the lady to tell her. Her husband had been a Dr, and  his wife said,  he never did things like this

But this time, he did. You just never know what they  are going to do

[ROMARY]

In younger (mid-life) people who have more than enough money, I'm only guessing that it's a sign of kleptomania (?).  Since they don't seem to care about being caught, they must be in some sort of daze while going all through the trouble of secretly stealing items.   I would think that It's a fine line between being a psychopathic(?) criminal and some type of kleptomania psychological disorder.  Only thinking out loud, of course.  And very confusing, trying to figure it all out. 

[Nadine11]

I was thinking the same thing. She might have thought you were donating them, but you and your daughter fixed the situation so I would just let it be.