Need Help Getting Mother to Use Walker...Suggestio... - Page 4

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

Combining a few ideas (post blending lol)...

"Walkers ARE independence!" @ChynnaBlue

You could paint that on or hang an embroidered thingy on the walker! @gardenman

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

Kardi · ‎05-20-2010

Totally sympathize! My 88 yr. old mom is the same way. Won't use a walker or a cane. My sister recently had the " maybe it's time to turn over the car keys" conversation with her and 3 weeks later she went out and bought a new car! Its tough, but apparently there are lots of us out here in the same situation.

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

@momtochloe

@Mominohio

All of the suggestions can be approached in love and respect. The hard part is following through!

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

Perkup · ‎03-09-2010

Again a little perspective from someone who is "older", but not yet senile!!

Do you have a walker - one with a seat, brakes, a basket for purses, etc.? If not, check into Amazon. We purchased two through them - Drive brand, which is quite good, and well under $100.00. I think mine was about $60.00. with free shipping. They come in nice colors - red, blue, silver, etc.

QVC has another brand I think. They are really neat and nothing to be ashamed of. Never buy one with two wheels and a couple of tennis balls. They are awful. There are also additional accessories to be had. If your Mom has one available, it would be much easier for her to find an excuse to use it.

DH began with using his in the house only. It made walking through the house much easier with his balance issues. Once he got accustomed to using it inside, he began to venture out with it - to the mailbox, to check on the tomato plants. Now he has a second one he keeps in the car for trips to the MD's office - to the barber shop, etc. Little steps at a time. But at least once a day he tells me how happy he is to have it, and how much it helps him. He admits it was his silly pride that caused him to take unnecessary chances.

About a month ago, he decided to order one for me. No, I don't need it yet, BUT I use it inside to please him, and to get accustomed to it for the time I will need it. It's also handy to haul "stuff" from one end of the house to the other. If your Mom had this kind of walker handy, she might only use it when no one is looking, but eventually she might find it is very helpful to her. You did it with the PortaPotty, so do it with the walker. The nicest you can afford. Baby steps work with us "older" folks. AND DON'T THREATEN HER, NO MATTER WHAT. THAT IS BOTH CRUEL AND DEMEANING. That's sure to backfire. It definitely would with DH and with ME!

Spoiler

A60_Chevy · ‎06-06-2016

Slowly show how it is not taking away independence but allowing extra daily strength.

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

Serious question: Would someone please explain a walker with two wheels in front and tennis balls in the back!??? How does this make any sense?? I truly don't get it.

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

Desi · ‎03-09-2010

Yesterday would have happened even if the walker was in the car. She needs to wait until you come around and take her hand stepping out.

My mom had a collapsable 3 wheeled walker, a plain walker, and eventually I got her one with a seat. She used a cane for years for extra balance but got to the point where she knew to use a walker almost all the time. I didn't have to push it on her.

If your mom won't wait for you to help her out of the car and then use a walker, stop taking her places for a while. When it comes down to it she will probably use it just to get out again. Not easy for you no matter what and you will feel like the meanie but there isn't much of an alternative. If she winds up in some kind of assisted living - they ALL use walkers!

Mama Mia · ‎03-10-2010

The tennis balls are to make the walked go easier than the rubber cups that are put on them. I found these great little plastic slides that look like little skis for my husband's walker. About 6.48 at Walmart.

mm

@MacDUFF wrote:
Serious question: Would someone please explain a walker with two wheels in front and tennis balls in the back!??? How does this make any sense?? I truly don't get it.

"Cats are like potato chips, you can never have just one".

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Yardlie, I wish I could be encouraging, or more helpful, but I can only relate my own experience.

My mother, who passed away just shy of 95, lived with my niece for several years. She was supposed to use a walker. She had her share of bad falls, but in her case she very fortunately never broke anything.

She was "reminded", in a calm, kind way, to use her walker - daily. She'd say "I know" and go right on NOT using it, or trot it out grudgingly and pout about it. She had slight memory issues but no dementia.

Consistently, she would do what she wanted, in general. If she was told, however kindly, that she shouldn't be without the walker, shouldn't wash dishes, scrub the bathtub(!) or all the other things she insisted on doing, it fell on deaf ears. She did it anyway. If things occasionally came to an angry head, she would just get angry - and nothing changed anyway. ETA that if she was spoken to firmly/ "yelled at" she told the doctor she had been subjected to "abuse." My mom was pretty good at perfect passive aggression. So just "laying down the law" doesn't always work. In her case, it backfired on her.

When it got to the point where her behavior was a broken hip waiting to happen, and mentally she would pretty much do the opposite of what was suggested (rarely if ever demanded), my niece decided she needed to be in a nursing home (doctors agreed) because she was a danger to herself and it wasn't safe for her to be left alone for even an hour because God knows what she would decide to do. Her wilfullness (she had her faculties about her) cost her being able to live at home. She was in a nursing home, in a wheelchair (without a peep about it and happy to have it) for the last 3 years of her life.

So I wish I could tell you a happier tale, but can only say - deal with it as long as you can, but when it's unsafe for her and too great a worry for you, make whatever decision you feel is appropriate.

Been there - good luck!

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Brinklii wrote:
OK, here is the situation. I am my 91 y. o. mother's caregiver. She doesn't look her age, and she is very spry and seems strong. However, last September she fell in the house and broke her leg in 3 spots, was in the nursing home 2 months, and developed a blood clot as soon as she got out. She then had a lot of problems healing.

It's only been about two weeks since the orthopedic doc declared her healed. She is off coumadin (on two 81 mg aspirin a day now), and things seemed to be going well. She is an extremely strong-willed lady. She has balance problems, memory problems, and hearing problems...all of which she denies.

She will use a cane, but not a walker...despite the doctor and physical therapist telling her she needs one. Yesterday afternoon she hopped out of my car, fell backwards, hit her head and ended up with a goose egg on the back of her head, as well as a lot of aches, pains, and bruises. She went to the hospital by ambulance. They did CT scans of her head and neck and other x-rays. Everything checked out, but I have to watch her closely for any changes.

She still refuses to use her walker. My two sisters who are RN's and do not live near here told her she must use her walker when she is outside. She actually should use it in the house too, as I see her get unbalanced at times even when she is using her cane. She often does not even use her cane in the house.

DH said that I should just lay down the law...she uses the walker when we are out, or she doesn't go out. We are responsible for her safety. I agree, but I can foresee a major battle coming.

I understand that she feels a loss of independence, but that is inevitable for most of us. Anyone else ever deal with this (and win)? Thanks so much! Sorry this is so long.

@Yardlie

I read most of the posts and agree that a heart to heart talk is the best first choice.

If you cannot elicit the change necessary, then you may have to get a bit heavy handed, and so what if there's a battle? You can lay down the law and it's NOT NEGOTIABLE. Just refuse to lose that argument.

Another option is to get someone else to be the bad guy and read her the riot act .... one of your RN sisters ... or even her doctor, who should be given permission to give her a very strong talking to. Perhaps she'll be less feisty with a doctor?

Anyway, I'm sending you good thoughts ... good luck!