My Co-Worker - Page 5

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@SaRina OMG , your post reminded me of something that my Dad did - he was hanging drywall and asked my brother who was around 14 at the time , to hold the drywall for him. My brother stood behind my Dad holding the drywall in place and as my Dad went to swing the hammer he came back & hit my brother in the mouth with the hammer, full force. My brother lost several teeth and had a broken bone that had to be wired. My poor Dad felt horrible. One of the last things my Dad said to my brother before he died, over 50 years later , was "I still feel bad about breaking your teeth."

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@SydneyH wrote:
I then asked if she had a casket picked out because that imo, is the the next step........

That statement is highly inappropriate...especially w/ a co-worker.

I realize you've spoken to her about this before (which is inappropriate)

and in an odd way, you meant well, but I can't imagine how she feels.

This is a 'MYOB' in the highest regard.

blondetlw · ‎11-15-2012

It amazes me that so many on this post have taken the "mind your own business stance" on this issue. When I was in my mid-20s, working in a professional capacity, I had a co-work who came into work with bruises and black eyes from time to time. We all knew where she got them from, her unemployed boyfriend who was about twice her size. The abuse continued to escalate until one day she ended up in the hospital, so badly beaten that you couldn't even recognize her. She didn't press charges and went back to him. I gave her a key to my apartment, so that she would have a safe place to go.....if she needed to get away, which she used on a number of occasions. She never wanted her family to know about the abuse and always thanked me for being there for her, when she felt that she had no one else to turn to. Unfortunately she endured a lot of years of abuse until she finally decided to leave this sorry excuse of a human being. She eventually lost her job, which also caused her to lose her beautiful childhood home, that she had purchased from her family.

So all that being said, I'm glad I was there for a friend who was afraid to leave her abuser..........maybe having a place to escape to, saved her life a time or two.

SydneyH · ‎03-10-2010

@sidsmom wrote:
That statement is highly inappropriate...especially w/ a co-worker.
I realize you've spoken to her about this before (which is inappropriate)
and in an odd way, you meant well, but I can't imagine how she feels.
This is a 'MYOB' in the highest regard.

I don't think so, when someone tells you someone punched them in the face, I said what I did. Apparently others did as well, she did text me that she was going to see a doctor today, thankfully.

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

Years ago, my subordinate came to work work with two black eyes. It was not the first time she came with obvious signs of domestic violence but this was the worst.

She also tried to downplay it but I went to management once again and they agreed she should go home with pay. I believe they did try to help her and gave her support as needed but unfortunately they had to fire her later for job abandonment when she didn't show up or call for three days.

What I learned is that it's limited what one and the company can do since it's such a difficult and 'private' matter that often spills into the public and professional domain. Her spouse even called me and threatened me at work for helping her. It was very scary. He was on probation and I thought of calling his probation officer but I something told me not to.

She had recommended him to do electrical work when she was first hired in my new apartment, which I agreed so he already knew where I lived. I ended up getting robbed a few months after that and I knew it had to be him; unbeknownst to me at the time he was on probation for robbery. She never told me this so to date I have suspicion that she was aware that he robbed me.

Many lessons learned on my part. I was really young and broke so her suggestion seemed well intentioned but I ultimately paid a much higher price. Just hire an electrician etc. I tried to really help her but ended up in the line of fire. Lost touch after she was fired. It's such a complicated issue.

~Live with Intention~

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@blondetlw Kudos to you. Domestic violence is not an myob issue. That's how abusers get away with it. Myob often comes straight out of their mouths.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@SydneyH wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
That statement is highly inappropriate...especially w/ a co-worker.
I realize you've spoken to her about this before (which is inappropriate)
and in an odd way, you meant well, but I can't imagine how she feels.
This is a 'MYOB' in the highest regard.

I don't think so, when someone tells you someone punched them in the face, I said what I did. Apparently others did as well, she did text me that she was going to see a doctor today, thankfully.

Anyone who has knowledge with abuse, in any form or fashion,

will say....this young lady SAYS she's going to the doctor,

but I can almost guarantee she won't. That would draw attention

to her situation & her abuser.

Your city might provide a safe house for abused women.

I would give that information to her as soon as possible.

At the end of the day, it will be her decision to go...or stay.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@sidsmom wrote:
@SydneyH wrote:
I then asked if she had a casket picked out because that imo, is the the next step........
That statement is highly inappropriate...especially w/ a co-worker.
I realize you've spoken to her about this before (which is inappropriate)
and in an odd way, you meant well, but I can't imagine how she feels.
This is a 'MYOB' in the highest regard.

***************************

I agree @sidsmom Asking if she has a casket picked out is one of the worst responses I've heard, it will make an abused woman run from you.

And I do know what I'm talking about, I worked in one of the first safe homes for abused women.

momtochloe · ‎11-03-2013

@blondetlw wrote:
It amazes me that so many on this post have taken the "mind your own business stance" on this issue. When I was in my mid-20s, working in a professional capacity, I had a co-work who came into work with bruises and black eyes from time to time. We all knew where she got them from, her unemployed boyfriend who was about twice her size. The abuse continued to escalate until one day she ended up in the hospital, so badly beaten that you couldn't even recognize her. She didn't press charges and went back to him. I gave her a key to my apartment, so that she would have a safe place to go.....if she needed to get away, which she used on a number of occasions. She never wanted her family to know about the abuse and always thanked me for being there for her, when she felt that she had no one else to turn to. Unfortunately she endured a lot of years of abuse until she finally decided to leave this sorry excuse of a human being. She eventually lost her job, which also caused her to lose her beautiful childhood home, that she had purchased from her family.

So all that being said, I'm glad I was there for a friend who was afraid to leave her abuser..........maybe having a place to escape to, saved her life a time or two.

@blondetlw what an incredibly kind and also incredibly brave thing to do for that young woman to give her that key as for me I would be afraid he would find it and come after me . . . good on you my friend!

Wow.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@Noel7 wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
@SydneyH wrote:
I then asked if she had a casket picked out because that imo, is the the next step........
That statement is highly inappropriate...especially w/ a co-worker.
I realize you've spoken to her about this before (which is inappropriate)
and in an odd way, you meant well, but I can't imagine how she feels.
This is a 'MYOB' in the highest regard.

***************************

I agree @sidsmom Asking if she has a casket picked out is one of the worst responses I've heard, it will make an abused woman run from you.

And I do know what I'm talking about, I worked in one of the first safe homes for abused women.