Re: Missing My Mother Today...

Pandalady · ‎05-14-2011

@SandySparkles God bless you dear! Hugs and prayers! Your story touched my heart and you are so right. We are not promised tomorrow.

My fractured relationship was with my mother in law. When DH and I got married, she began dreaming of becoming a grandmother. Due to my health issues, it was not recommended for me to have children. We also knew adoption would be a challenge due to my physical limitations. Becoming a teacher helped me have plenty of children. DH knew this when we married and completely understood.

However, my mother in law was not as accepting. She would cry at family gatherings to her siblings that had grandchildren. At holidays, we would go through the motions but I always felt a sense of coldness. This was not the feelings of my father in law. We shared a close relationship. I would spend some time at those gatherings with him.

When my father in law passed away, I decided to have a heart to heart talk with my mother in law. I explained how I felt hurt that she showed coldness towards me about this. She cried and apologized to me immediately. I also apologized for not talking to her sooner so that her feelings could be acknowledged, too. It was such a relief to have this conversation. It also took stress away from my DH from feellng like he had to come to my defense. He was in the middle and that wasn't fair to him.

A few years later, my mother in law developed dementia and has since passed away. I am glad that I finally talked to her about the pain we both felt.

I'm not short...I'm fun size!

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

I'm missing both my mom and my mother-in-law, who died 11 months apart in 2009. Both were at home when they passed, both were alone--mom in her bed (daddy was in the living room), MIL in her recliner. It was very quick for both, and neither had been "ill", though both were in declining health.

The blessing for DH & me is that we know they were NOT actually "alone" when they passed, we know where they are, and we know we will see them again some day!

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@Pandalady wrote:
@SandySparkles God bless you dear! Hugs and prayers! Your story touched my heart and you are so right. We are not promised tomorrow.

My fractured relationship was with my mother in law. When DH and I got married, she began dreaming of becoming a grandmother. Due to my health issues, it was not recommended for me to have children. We also knew adoption would be a challenge due to my physical limitations. Becoming a teacher helped me have plenty of children. DH knew this when we married and completely understood.

However, my mother in law was not as accepting. She would cry at family gatherings to her siblings that had grandchildren. At holidays, we would go through the motions but I always felt a sense of coldness. This was not the feelings of my father in law. We shared a close relationship. I would spend some time at those gatherings with him.

When my father in law passed away, I decided to have a heart to heart talk with my mother in law. I explained how I felt hurt that she showed coldness towards me about this. She cried and apologized to me immediately. I also apologized for not talking to her sooner so that her feelings could be acknowledged, too. It was such a relief to have this conversation. It also took stress away from my DH from feellng like he had to come to my defense. He was in the middle and that wasn't fair to him.

A few years later, my mother in law developed dementia and has since passed away. I am glad that I finally talked to her about the pain we both felt.

@Pandalady Welcome!🥰 Reading your touching post made me smile because it had a FAVORABLE outcome!😁 It was SO nice to read how you and your mother-in-law reconciled your differences BEFORE her dementia!!❤ How wonderful it would be if ALL fractured relationships ended as nicely!!💖 Such a blessing is priceless!😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share this feel good story of family reconciliation today!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@vermint wrote:
I'm missing both my mom and my mother-in-law, who died 11 months apart in 2009. Both were at home when they passed, both were alone--mom in her bed (daddy was in the living room), MIL in her recliner. It was very quick for both, and neither had been "ill", though both were in declining health.

The blessing for DH & me is that we know they were NOT actually "alone" when they passed, we know where they are, and we know we will see them again some day!

@vermint Welcome!🥰 I LOVE💝 your perspective, and enjoyed reading that they were blessed to be at HOME when they passed!❤👍 Your acceptance, and understanding that you WILL see them again is heartwarming!❤🥰

THANK you SO much for caring to share such a wonderful memory today!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Fifi1 · ‎03-10-2010

sending love and light to all missing their moms or mom figure this weekend.

i join in the missing mom club too.
prayers to family missing their children as well. ❤️

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
@SandySparkles I understand, but you know what? From what I've heard, when we feel that closeness of a loved one, they say, that person's spirit is with you, you feel them.
I hope you realize that someday, you'll be with her again, I believe that.

@qualitygal Welcome!🥰 I wholeheartedly concur!❤ My faith tells me I WILL see them again🙏, but I still had a difficult time processing my emotons over the past few days.😊 I did not mention that she had suffered in my original post before being placed on life support, and I think acknowledging it in my thoughts recently opened an emotional wound I had been hesitant to claim. It made me miss her even MORE!!💝🥰

THANK you SO much for caring to share your kind words of support today!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

MoJoV · ‎10-01-2010

I miss my mother, too. We had some bumpy moments but they were always my fault. I wish I could go back in time and be a better daughter to her. Now that I'm getting older I realize how hard it is to be aging. I wish I had the foresight and the patience to be kinder to her. I talk to her and ask for her help in things and she always does help me. I know that sounds strange but it's true.

If you still have your mother, treasure her.

Trees are the lungs of the Earth

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@PamfromCT wrote:
Dear sweet @SandySparkles,

I know you are hurting so much now. I do wish to tell you that you will always hurt, but it will get better.
My mom had perfect health until her late 80s. She needed the care provided in a nursing home, sadly. She would "sundown" in the early afternoon, but always knew who we were. She was hospitalized many times. I had retired early, and I was privileged to spend much time with her.

We had a big birthday party for her when she turned 90. She was thrilled. She was so happy to hold her first great-grandchild on her lap! We call that picture of her JOY, in honor of her complete happiness. She left for heaven 13 years ago.

I miss her all the time. I am crying now, as I can so identify with your sadness and all who posted here. I know what a kind person you are, and that reflects on your mom. And not to worry about some mother/daughter disagreements. That is normal, really, even where there is great love.

So please know that your dear momma is with you in spirit, looking at you so proud of the lovely woman you are.

All my best wishes.

@PamfromCT Welcome!🥰 I SO appreciate this BEAUTIFUL❤ post, and can only nod in agreement, as I relish in the comforting emotion it evoked!😁 I am sorry❤ you became tearful🤗, but quite GRATEFUL for your uplifting outlook!💝 I am still smiling, and can feel the LOVE💝 you had for your dear mother though your inspiring narrative.🥰

THANK you SO much for your sharing your touching story, and for such kind and thoughtful words of support!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@CalminHeart wrote:
@SandySparkles wrote:

I feel for you. I'm not sure we ever get past longing for our moms.

I talk to my mom. She died 6 years ago Thanksgiving. I lost 4 loved ones in 2023. I talk to them too.

My religion believes in the unity/connection between the the living and the dead. I believe my family hears me. I ask God to tell my family that I love them and miss them. Would God ever turn down such a request? No.

I've had a number of encounters with loved ones who have passed. The first one scared me. After that, I decided to just stay still and go with it. They have been very comforting.

Not everyone has these experiences because they may not believe, be open to it, or recognize the signs.

@CalminHeart Welcome!🥰 Amen! I am SO sorry for YOUR losses😔, and can understand how difficult losing four in one year must have been for you!I💝 I too, believe we are sometimes visited by our dearly departed LOVED💝 ones, as I feel I have been visited by my dear mother.😊 I will never forget the abject FEAR I had as a child when my dear grandmother spoke of my grandfather having visited her on NUMEROUS occasions, and that her mother would visit her as well. She was a DEVOUT woman of faith!🙏 I was TERRIFIED, and became afraid of the dark for a short time, but later came to understand as a young adult that fear was unwarranted, and to embrace the experience IF or when it came.👍

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the posts of others affirming THEIR belief that our LOVED❤ ones DO visit us!🥰

THANK you SO much for caring to share your encounters and beliefs with us today!🤗

~~~ALL we need is LOVE💖