Re: Marriage and Virus

Oznell · ‎11-08-2014

Hubby has been going into work, one of the few in his department, b/c his job has been considered "essential". However, they think next week they can have him work from home perhaps most of the week, so that will be the test! So there's been a certain weird normalcy, in a way, with him going off to work as usual.

When he's home, he's his usual cheerful, considerate self, making it easy on us. I'm the one more prone to morose introspection sometimes, so his calm, sort of "bracing" attitude really helps me.

We've worried more about our son, who has something of a "risk-taking" personality. Like all students, he's distance-learning here at home, but I really wondered if he'd reconcile himself to the reality of strict social distancing. At first he was a bit skeptical, but he's absorbed the sobering guidelines from task force and others over the last several weeks, and he definitely gets it. So at least that sort of anxiety we had has lessened, and it's a huge relief.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

My husband and I got into a fight which is so unusual for us.

RealtyGal2 · ‎01-05-2017

@Just4Me wrote:
I may have missed it but...how is all this togetherness at home affecting you marriage? My husband retired just before all this began. So that in itself is an issue; then we are dealing with this.
He is an outgoing, always keeping busy and gardener. He can't do any of it at this time. I on the other hand am a homebody. Love my home, computer, books and tv.
It is not a good mix. What are you doing? Do you have any issues? Do you have any good ideas on coping? I can't be the only one.

When my father retired he didn't know what to do with himself and would follow my mother around asking what she was doing now and what would she be doing next, etc. She had always been a stay at home mom with lots of social functions and it drove her crazy. She would call me and ask me to meet her at Starbucks so she could get out of the house and vent. It actually was a nice compliment that he really liked to hang out with her. Eventually he found several groups to join and things calmed down. It is a big adjustment. Hang in there.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@Just4Me wrote:
I may have missed it but...how is all this togetherness at home affecting you marriage? My husband retired just before all this began. So that in itself is an issue; then we are dealing with this.
He is an outgoing, always keeping busy and gardener. He can't do any of it at this time. I on the other hand am a homebody. Love my home, computer, books and tv.
It is not a good mix. What are you doing? Do you have any issues? Do you have any good ideas on coping? I can't be the only one.

You are not the only one - and anyone who thinks 24/7 togetherness is all wine and roses isn't being 100% truthful. I have been married almost 42 years and we both just retired in January. We both worked FT 46+ years. Things for the most part are going great. Now and then I see how finicky he is about certain things (you don't see that when you are only together a few hours in the evening) Example: this is kind of funny - we have 3 glass measuring cups that stack - 4 cup, 2 cup and one cup. When I unloaded the dishwasher I didn't put the one cup back in the nest - I put it off to the side. I mean - WHO CARES? lol - well, I guess he does. "This cup goes into the other cups, hon". Oh dear - at that point I thought: "well, I could snip back at him or just say OK". So I just said OK. He grew up with 5 brothers and his mom was the ruler of the kitchen and my DH kind of is too. I didn't grow up that way - I was more like an only child. So......with retirement and the virus keeping us together 24/7 - there are going to be times that you have annoyances. For the most part, it's fine. Imagine if you had a coworker or BFF that you were with 24/7 - don't tell me it would be 100% perfect - it's just not realistic. But yes, I am anxious to get out and shop with my BFF, see my former coworkers for dinner out, and stop feeling like we can't get out. Our marriage has endured many hospitalizations, deaths, our only child lives out of state, etc. so we have learned to work TOGETHER. Oh, and when we watch TV we both have our own remotes

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Nancy Drew wrote:
Stange. I have not read the word perfect anywhere on this thread. The fact is some people do have good marriages. Whether due to luck, compromise, personalities and tools to cope. Who knows but knocking people who get along and re happy is strange.

@Nancy Drew Anyone who claims their marriage or relationship is perfect 100% of the time, not a cross word or tiny disagreement at all, well I have my doubts.