Marriage and Virus

Just4Me · ‎04-26-2010

I may have missed it but...how is all this togetherness at home affecting you marriage? My husband retired just before all this began. So that in itself is an issue; then we are dealing with this.

He is an outgoing, always keeping busy and gardener. He can't do any of it at this time. I on the other hand am a homebody. Love my home, computer, books and tv.

It is not a good mix. What are you doing? Do you have any issues? Do you have any good ideas on coping? I can't be the only one.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

Maybe you are the only one. My marriage is thriving. We've been retired for 5 years. We get along splendidly. Always have, always will. So sorry that you are not happy.

"Pure Michigan"

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

We are going through files, throwing away old paperwork, organizing, cooking, and then having our own free time. We also have to spend time shopping on line for deliveries of things we need.

We have not had any problems so far and have been retired a few years.

He has enjoyed cooking as a few hobby, and we both feel like we can live our lives without having to struggle and rush now. I will say this is harder on him than me. We go for drives every few days too.

Good luck! I hope you find things you both enjoy doing.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Just4Me wrote:
I may have missed it but...how is all this togetherness at home affecting you marriage? My husband retired just before all this began. So that in itself is an issue; then we are dealing with this.
He is an outgoing, always keeping busy and gardener. He can't do any of it at this time. I on the other hand am a homebody. Love my home, computer, books and tv.
It is not a good mix. What are you doing? Do you have any issues? Do you have any good ideas on coping? I can't be the only one.

@Just4Me I don't believe anyone for one second that claims that couples won't have a few little tiffs during this never before Pandemic. It is all very stressful and being together 24/7 is going to put some stress into a marriage. I will be married 45 years on Sunday and I think this is the first time, I have ever spent this amount of time with my husband. To add to this, we have some very different political beliefs, so for respite, I call the kids. LOL

I enjoy my spouse's company, though, and we usually meet each other half way. I know he is getting antsy because he is someone who likes being physically active. He tries not to go anywhere because he is worried about bringing the virus home to me. We have been ordering from Whole Foods but this morning I needed some meds, so he went out to pick them up. He is always so patient and kind, this entire virus thing has only reinforced that about him. So all is good and I hope someday soon we can all just look back on this and count our blessings.

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

@Just4Me I'm surprised he can't do gardening.

Grouchomarx · ‎01-23-2019

We get a little crazy on the weekend, as our joy in life was eating out Friday and Saturday and now we're stuck at home, I have to cook and clean a lot. He copes by playing sudoku and napping a lot. I am watching more Netflix and taking on small organizing projects. We are grateful to stil be healthy and same for our families, but the mental health toll is great. So much constant worry and stress and fear of what the next day will bring. We are also drinking much more wine to relax our minds. Watching TMZ daily is also helpful as it is frivolous and funny. He goes to bed way before me so I get to watch all my shows uninterrupted at night, and that is my peace.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

You are just adjusting to his being home. This won't go on forever...you just each need to pick an area to do your liking to do your thing, and he can pick his. Little by little, it'll all come together. You'll see.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

Hubby and I are both retired and have been so for the past couple of years. We both just do our own thing... and do not argue or get into each others spaces. This situation has not really changed anything at home... we do go out less to the store now and only when we must. But really nothing in the relationship has changed.

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
Hubby and I are both retired and have been so for the past couple of years. We both just do our own thing... and do not argue or get into each others spaces. This situation has not really changed anything at home... we do go out less to the store now and only when we must. But really nothing in the relationship has changed.

Same for us.

A couple of days ago he said, "You know, people of our age and condition are fighting for their lives right now." It puts fighting over little stuff in perspective. Just hope we make it to the other side of this dark chapter.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

We are not retired. My husband is home during this but I am still working everyday in the office as we are considered an essential business. In that respect as far as during the week, it's not that much different for us. He's home now when I'm getting ready for work in the morning and he's home when I go home for lunch. He's always been home when I get home after work.

The weekends are what is very different. I'm a homebody and especially in colder months I spend my weekends home or going shopping. I clean, do laundry, grocery shop or would head out to shop somewhere. He was always gone tinkering out at our barn which is in another city or he'd be with friends at their house working on cars, etc. He is also in a band so they usually played either Friday or Saturday night. Now that has all but stopped. Being home all day on the weekend has become an adjustment.