Community Chat

[Sooner]

UNLESS someone specifically asks for donations instead of gifts, it says nothing but:

A. You don't deserve a gift.

B. I don't want to buy you something for you to enjoy.

C. You have too much.

E.  I'm not spending my money on you

And so on and so forth.  I understand the idea that people have too much stuff, are hard to buy for, etc.  but to me buying someone a tax deduction for you instead of something for them is simpy rude unless it is asked for.

So, would any of you care to weigh in on this and tell me I'm delusional?  

[deepwaterdotter]

F.  I can't think of any material item in my price range to buy that I think you would enjoy owning?

[FrostyBabe1]

G. I don't exchange gifts with anyone so as to avoid this type of unpleasantness. 

[CelticCrafter]

Even when someone asks that a donation be made instead of a gift, I still don't like it as you the giver are being forced to support their charity and it may not be one you support

[kittyloo]

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@Sooner wrote:

UNLESS someone specifically asks for donations instead of gifts, it says nothing but:

A. You don't deserve a gift.

B. I don't want to buy you something for you to enjoy.

C. You have too much.

E.  I'm not spending my money on you

And so on and so forth.  I understand the idea that people have too much stuff, are hard to buy for, etc.  but to me buying someone a tax deduction for you instead of something for them is simpy rude unless it is asked for.

So, would any of you care to weigh in on this and tell me I'm delusional?  

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you make some valid points.  i don't agree with A. you don't deserve a gift.  I feel like it says, you are hard to buy for, and this is easier for me.

or... I don't think that you need anything. you have too much already.  this is what you deserve.

E. doesn't make sense, since at least in theory, you ARE spending your money on them.

i don't consider it rude at all.  however, me personally, i would not really care for this type of gift. 

i would much rather have a thoughtful gift. the price or value, make zero difference to me. 

my late dh used to always buy me one of the GREAT BIG greeting cards, and then paste in our pet photos, and us doing stuff and make cute captions for valentines day and birthday.  BEtter than any diamond ring or expensive gift.  IMO it's the gift of thought, and love.  

those types of gifts only work with a spouse or close family member.  

it is really hard to get a gift for someone who has everything though.

[Bri369]

I disagree that it says "you don't deserve a gift"  

I have never made a donation to a charity in someone's name in lieu of a gift.  It just seems pretentious to me.  

[Sooner]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

Even when someone asks that a donation be made instead of a gift, I still don't like it as you the giver are being forced to support their charity and it may not be one you support

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Yes.  I hadn't thought of that but that could be an issue for sure!  LOL!!

Then there's also "If I HAVE to get you a gift, at least I can tax deduct it" for a charity donation!  

[Scooby Doo]

I agree with all but A.

It's not something I would ever do.  Kinda sounds selfish to me. 

[ShowMe]

Oh please don't get me started on this subject.  Have never liked the idea of anyone doing this.

[faeriemoon]

I have a few charities I support and am not interested in supporting others.  This is not to say I don't donate to other charities, they are just not my regular ones I feel passionate about.

I don't consider it a gift if someone donates to a charity in my name when the charity is not on my list of important (to me) ones.

I'm not interested in donating to someone else's charity if it doesn't touch me in some way.

The whole donation-for-the-holiday-gift thing is just a way of not having to come up with an actual gift.  If you're going to donate money, just give the person the money instead.  They can use/spend it as they see fit.