Re: MIL DIL issue

stilltamn8r · ‎03-14-2010

Nancy, just let me say this, as a golfer, and as someone who taught my own son at age 5 to golf, and is excitedly watching her grandson learn now- Teach your grandkids to golf! they will be happy you did-

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

On 4/10/2014 stilltamn8r said:
Nancy, just let me say this, as a golfer, and as someone who taught my own son at age 5 to golf, and is excitedly watching her grandson learn now- Teach your grandkids to golf! they will be happy you did-

Yes they have a golf camp for the summer. I need to look into that.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Yes, Savings accounts for grandchildren! Perfect!! I haven't had time to read all of the posts, but I'm thinking it is best to 'move on', forget about whatever statement DIL made, and "Be Happy". Happiness is contagious. Smile . . . . Also, make it a routine to spend a couple of hours a week with DIL, if she lives nearby. Go to a park, occasionally have lunch, go to a Museum, etc., etc. There are probably many points of interest in your area that both of you haven't yet experienced/visited. You might say that you've always wanted to visit (whatever) tourist attraction, and ask her if she would like to accompany you, for company, instead of going alone, etc. ......... That's what I would do, anyway.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

FlowershopGirl · ‎03-30-2011

By the comments and statements you have made here, on this thread, about how you feel about her, it may be that after 10 years, she has pretty much gleaned that you feel that way about her, even though you have never vocalized the thoughts. It probably has bothered her and she may have finally decided to talk about it to you. Sometimes, when we confront an issue that has preyed upon our thoughts, we don't always say it as tactfully as we ought to. She really sounds like one of those people who has a desire to have the Waltons family life, which is a lovely ideal but often not attainable.

You pretty much have shown that you aren't interested in any interaction with her other than cursory and you feel your life is yours to do with as you please. Your choice. It may have been hurtful what she said, and I don't think she should have used those words exactly, but in some ways, they are true if you try to see it from her standpoint. She really isn't dumb, dim, at all because I'm sure by some ways, you have communicated to her that you do find her boring and by continuing to keep her at arms length, doing your own things more often than not, and even by your own admission, you like it that way. Its what you want so it just, is what it is.

By bringing up the gifts she may have felt, but didn't convey it well, that you may be compensating your lack of wanting to really dig in and just spend time with the grands because you love to with buying things, etc. Kind of like a once-a-month dad visit.

This is in no way meant to insult you, say I think you are mean, indifferent, cold, etc. I'm just an observer of what you said in your posts about your feelings about her and your whole situation with her.

Its like the saying, "He's just not that into you". You feel you've done enough being a responsible parent and now you want to do for you. You said that a few times.