Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

---

@catwhisperer wrote:

@Moonchilde...I deleted my post, because I realized it would just cause chaos with some posters and I don't want your thread to get deleted.

---

I'm sorry, @catwhisperer. It's too bad anyone needs to think of that. ❤️

[catwhisperer]

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@catwhisperer wrote:

@Moonchilde...I deleted my post, because I realized it would just cause chaos with some posters and I don't want your thread to get deleted.

---

I'm sorry, @catwhisperer. It's too bad anyone needs to think of that. ❤️

---

@Moonchilde....yes, well you know how things go on these boards.

[dooBdoo]

---

@catwhisperer wrote:

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@catwhisperer wrote:

@Moonchilde...I deleted my post, because I realized it would just cause chaos with some posters and I don't want your thread to get deleted.

---

I'm sorry, @catwhisperer. It's too bad anyone needs to think of that. ❤️

---

@Moonchilde....yes, well you know how things go on these boards.

---

(((@catwhisperer)))    FWIW, I know what you mean. ❤️

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

Tinkrbl44 wrote@

@Moonchilde

I've only read the first page of posts, so sorry if this has already been discussed.

I find it a bit strange that any child growing up thinks either of their parents could do no wrong, or that they were "perfect".   Can't relate to that, at all.

Even as a child, I saw my parents' flaws .... not sure why, but I was always "analyzing" their behavior.   I distinctly recall watching their actions and noting their words.   I felt something was going on that I didn't understand, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.   

Actually, now that I think about it, I was constantly "analyzing" all the adults in the neighborhood, especially the parents of the kids I played with.   

Over the years, different teachers told my parents that I was very observant.   Maybe today, that's why my favorite type of book is mystery fiction.  When I start a new book, it isn't long before I'm trying to figure out who did it ..... whatever "it" is.   lol

---

@Tinkrbl44

What you find strange is normal for most children.  Most are taught their parents can do no wrong and are taught to mind them.

Most kids assume their families are normal, it isn't until they are a little older that they catch on something is wrong. 

Abuse of any kind is very harmful for a child, it can be like the Stockholm Syndrome. Children are dependant on their parents for food, shelter and survival.  

---

@Noel7

In all seriousness, just WHO would ever tell children that their parents can do no wrong?   My parents (or grandparents) never said anything of the sort.  I've also been thinking back to my teachers, and none of them ever even implied that my parents could do no wrong .... so who is telling children that?

[Noel7]

---

Tinkrbl44 wrote:

---

Noel7 wrote:

---

Tinkrbl44 wrote@

@Moonchilde

I've only read the first page of posts, so sorry if this has already been discussed.

I find it a bit strange that any child growing up thinks either of their parents could do no wrong, or that they were "perfect".   Can't relate to that, at all.

Even as a child, I saw my parents' flaws .... not sure why, but I was always "analyzing" their behavior.   I distinctly recall watching their actions and noting their words.   I felt something was going on that I didn't understand, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.   

Actually, now that I think about it, I was constantly "analyzing" all the adults in the neighborhood, especially the parents of the kids I played with.   

Over the years, different teachers told my parents that I was very observant.   Maybe today, that's why my favorite type of book is mystery fiction.  When I start a new book, it isn't long before I'm trying to figure out who did it ..... whatever "it" is.   lol

---

@Tinkrbl44

What you find strange is normal for most children.  Most are taught their parents can do no wrong and are taught to mind them.

Most kids assume their families are normal, it isn't until they are a little older that they catch on something is wrong. 

Abuse of any kind is very harmful for a child, it can be like the Stockholm Syndrome. Children are dependant on their parents for food, shelter and survival.  

---

@Noel7

In all seriousness, just WHO would ever tell children that their parents can do no wrong?   My parents (or grandparents) never said anything of the sort.  I've also been thinking back to my teachers, and none of them ever even implied that my parents could do no wrong .... so who is telling children that?

---

Oh come on now @Tinkrbl44. Surely you've heard terms like "Father knows best."  There was even a TV show titled that.  And how many times we've heard children told to mind their parents, with the obvious implication that mom or dad knows best.  That's a given for most cultures, I can't believe it's news to you.

[Tinkrbl44]

@Noel7

I think we're talking about two different things here.  

There's a big difference between a parent knowing best and a parent who can do no wrong.  Yes, we were told to mind our parents, but we really had no choice when we were minors.  

We were dependents ....  but surely most children that had to mind their parents sometimes disagreed strongly with the decisions they made.  I know I did, and I bet you didn't always just follow blindly after your parents said something.  Surely you must have seen things differently now and then?

[Noel7]

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@Noel7

I think we're talking about two different things here.  

There's a big difference between a parent knowing best and a parent who can do no wrong.  Yes, we were told to mind our parents, but we really had no choice when we were minors.  

We were dependents ....  but surely most children that had to mind their parents sometimes disagreed strongly with the decisions they made.  I know I did, and I bet you didn't always just follow blindly after your parents said something.  Surely you must have seen things differently now and then.

@Tinkrbl44

I did, and I remember the first time, I was shocked.  I didn't disagree with them when I was little, but that is a normal pre-pubescent developmental stage most young people go through.

[Moonchilde]

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

Tinkrbl44 wrote@

@Moonchilde

I've only read the first page of posts, so sorry if this has already been discussed.

I find it a bit strange that any child growing up thinks either of their parents could do no wrong, or that they were "perfect".   Can't relate to that, at all.

Even as a child, I saw my parents' flaws .... not sure why, but I was always "analyzing" their behavior.   I distinctly recall watching their actions and noting their words.   I felt something was going on that I didn't understand, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.   

Actually, now that I think about it, I was constantly "analyzing" all the adults in the neighborhood, especially the parents of the kids I played with.   

Over the years, different teachers told my parents that I was very observant.   Maybe today, that's why my favorite type of book is mystery fiction.  When I start a new book, it isn't long before I'm trying to figure out who did it ..... whatever "it" is.   lol

---

@Tinkrbl44

What you find strange is normal for most children.  Most are taught their parents can do no wrong and are taught to mind them.

Most kids assume their families are normal, it isn't until they are a little older that they catch on something is wrong. 

Abuse of any kind is very harmful for a child, it can be like the Stockholm Syndrome. Children are dependant on their parents for food, shelter and survival.  

---

@Noel7

In all seriousness, just WHO would ever tell children that their parents can do no wrong?   My parents (or grandparents) never said anything of the sort.  I've also been thinking back to my teachers, and none of them ever even implied that my parents could do no wrong .... so who is telling children that?

---

It doesn't need anyone saying the actual words for the thought/feeling to develop as a matter of course. When one is a dependent child, they learn that what mom or dad says, goes, no ifs, ands or buts - even if it makes the child unhappy, or involves physical punishment/abuse. The child is told they "deserve" whatever, or "I'm the mom/dad, that's why," etc. That doesn't make the feeling correct/true, but it's usually the conclusion a young child comes to; they are powerless. Mom & Dad must know what they're doing - they are, afer all, Mom & Dad, who are supposed to love you and know what's best for you - "everyone knows that."

As a child moves to pre-pubescence and then adolesence, they may or may not keep feeling the same way. It depends on the indoctrination/strength of the parent(s) and what actions they take to enforce their will, and the innate nature of the child. Some will rebel and challenge and some won't.

And actually, whether they can do no wrong is less relevant than the fact that as long as they live under a parents' roof, they must abide by the parents' rules. A teacher or a grandparent knows that. "Right" or "wrong" is less the issue than the child must do as they're told, "right" or "wrong."

And there isn't always someone around looking out for the child. And if there was? Is that person willing to take the child into their home and take responsibility for them, alienating the parent(s) over a difference in child-rearing (short of continual physical abuse)?

Not so cut and dried.

[jubilant]

My mother always told me and my siblings......"Don't put me on a pedestal.....I will fall off.  I am only human."  While Mom was and is a great mother, she has flaws just like anyone else. I have always thought that was one of the best things she ever told us.  There are people I highly respect, but I don't put anyone on a pedestal.

[Shanus]

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

Tinkrbl44 wrote@

@Moonchilde

I've only read the first page of posts, so sorry if this has already been discussed.

I find it a bit strange that any child growing up thinks either of their parents could do no wrong, or that they were "perfect".   Can't relate to that, at all.

Even as a child, I saw my parents' flaws .... not sure why, but I was always "analyzing" their behavior.   I distinctly recall watching their actions and noting their words.   I felt something was going on that I didn't understand, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.   

Actually, now that I think about it, I was constantly "analyzing" all the adults in the neighborhood, especially the parents of the kids I played with.   

Over the years, different teachers told my parents that I was very observant.   Maybe today, that's why my favorite type of book is mystery fiction.  When I start a new book, it isn't long before I'm trying to figure out who did it ..... whatever "it" is.   lol

---

@Tinkrbl44

What you find strange is normal for most children.  Most are taught their parents can do no wrong and are taught to mind them.

Most kids assume their families are normal, it isn't until they are a little older that they catch on something is wrong. 

Abuse of any kind is very harmful for a child, it can be like the Stockholm Syndrome. Children are dependant on their parents for food, shelter and survival.  

---

@Noel7

In all seriousness, just WHO would ever tell children that their parents can do no wrong?   My parents (or grandparents) never said anything of the sort.  I've also been thinking back to my teachers, and none of them ever even implied that my parents could do no wrong .... so who is telling children that?

---

@Tinkrbl44  I think children expect and naturally assume they will receive unconditional love from a parent. It's something we're born with. When we find it's not available to us or the love has "strings", that's when the problems begin and children act out and may be damaged for life. The early years of childhood are the ones when our security & insecurities are formed. No one tells a child anything about "doing no wrong", etc. Kids can pick up on whether they have good parenting or not.