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08-13-2020 03:55 AM - edited 08-13-2020 04:00 AM
1. How deep is the mud?
Depends on who you ask.
2. We all go through the same stuff differently.
3. Them: What inspires you to get out of bed every morning?
Me: My bladder mostly.
4. Sometimes you might feel like no one's there
for you but you know whose always there for you?
Laundry
Laundry will always be there for you.
5. A police recruit was asked during an exam,
"What would you do if you had to arrest
your mother? The reply..."Call for backup."
6. I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the refrigerator.
7. Wouldn't it be nice if you read a medicine bottle that says Warning: May cause permanent weight loss, remove
wrinkles and increase energy.
8. My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.
9. There are two ways to argue with a woman.
Neither one works.
10. Two hours into my first day of work as a Walmart Greeter, an ugly woman came in with her two kids. Hearing her swear at them, I said "Good morning, welcome to Walmart. Nice kids, are they twins?" The mom answered, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest is nine and the other is seven. Are you blind or stupid? Why would you think they are twins?"
I replied, "I'm not blind or stupid. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart."
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this kind of work.
The End
08-13-2020 06:01 AM
OMG I laughed so hard at number 3 🤣❤️☕️
08-13-2020 08:17 AM - edited 08-13-2020 08:18 AM
Number 10 ,
08-13-2020 12:35 PM
@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂😂 Numbers 8, and 10, gave me a serious case of the giggles, but number 5, CRACKED me UP! because I am seriously relating to that officer.🤣🤣🤣.
~~~All we need is LOVE💖
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