Community Chat

[Tinkrbl44]

@Irshgrl31201

This is a very good thing  .... and if you haven't used Skype yet, now is the time to start.

[Sister Golden Hair]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

My daughters husband has been offered a promotion at his place of employment. Right now he works for a company here where we live in NC but the company is based in Austin, TX. This job would be a lot more travel but would mean eventually moving (with in a year or two) to Austin. Been to Austin many times and it is a wonderful town. I am really happy for him as he has worked hard for this and done a lot to help this company get off the ground here. I am so happy for him because I know how much this means to him and I know how hard he worked for it. This was supposed to go to his boss but today they asked him. 

Inside, I feel like crying. While I am happy for him, I know what I have known for a long time. They probably won't be here for long. I am very close with my daughter, son in law and my almost 2 yr old grandson. I see them every single day and our lives will change a lot if they decide to accept this. At first he will just be traveling quite a bit but eventually they will move. 

They haven't discussed the details of salary, bonuses, etc... and my daughter and son in law are talking tonight on how much would be the magic number. 

I am lucky enough to be in a position where I could fly to visit them often but that is not the same as living in the same town. It will be really rough not seeing them every day and having family dinners several times a week. Along with my mom, husband, sister and her family, we see each other often and they are as close with them as they are me. It will be hard not just on me but all of us. 

You raise your children to be independent and go after their dreams, travel and see the world. It is just hard when that actually happens. I was a single mom and it was just her and I for a long time. When her husband came along, he fit perfectly. I love him very much and I will miss seeing him just as much. And my grandson, well that is going to be so hard. 

I AM very happy for them. I am very sad though too at the prospect of how much will change. 

Woo.... I have a lump in my throat. Thanks guys, I just had to get that out. 

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@Irshgrl31201 Maybe this will make you feel better (I know how hard this is for you)

Our son was in the Navy for six years in Guam (submarine). While our son and daughter-in-law were there, they had their son. They moved back here when our grandson was 4 months.

They had our granddaughter two years later.

Our son and DIL are both teachers and worked in the high school here.

Our DIL is half-Swedish and all of her family live in Sweden. Her Mother and Father would come to visit twice a year. She has two brothers and a sister, all with families which never came here.

After living here for 4 years, they decided to move to Sweden.

They have bought a beautiful home and are very happy.

We talk on SKYPE but of course it's not the same as being able to love and hug our grandchildren. Being little, they stayed with us a lot. Yes, I miss them

As you, I thought they would be here forever but it is all about them being happy.

I hope and pray the best for your family.

[Big Sister]

@Irshgrl31201  Thank you, Irshgrl31201.

[Big Sister]

@Hoovermom.  Yes, we had extraordinary mothers and how lucky were we?  Oh, to have just one more day with our moms..........

[qualitygal]

@Irshgrl31201,

You're missing them and they haven't left yet. Spoken like a true mom! But, they aren't leaving planet earth. You just work around it. Yes, you want the best for them. This is it.

[gmkb]

I empathize with you because I would feel just as bad if I were in your position.  A good friend's son married a European girl and moved to her birth country.  They have 5 children.  My friend, who lives here, Skypes and visits for a month in the Spring and a month in the Fall.

She considers that airline fare a necessary part of her yearly household budget and that comes before any other travel expense.  She has been able to be a part of the children's life easily thru Skype and the visits.  Maybe not ideal, but still good.

I wish you and your family well in this transition.  And who knows, maybe a move to Austin will be in your future.

[sligo]

Austin is a beautiful city. Perhaps ,in the future, you could consider a move to Austin.Understand how you feel. I only have 1 child. We give our children 2 thngd. ROOTS and WINGS>

[jackthebear]

OP

Don't say anything to your kids family about how you feel they need to make up their own mind about this,  without input or guilt. 

Opportunity doesn't always come around,

I faced similar decisions in my life.

Texting/Facetime is easy and fun

[LilacTree]

@Irshgrl31201, I don't care how old they are, when your kids move away (and to me, an airplane trip is AWAY because I don't fly), part of your life goes with them.  My heart goes out to you. 

I don't see my oldest daughter and grandchildren anymore . . . different reason, but there's not a day goes by that I don't miss them and think of them . . . and it's over six years now.

Thankfully, I still have my three daughters and four grandchildren who I see a lot.  One daughter lives with me.  Your post makes me so sad for you.  Hugs.   

[Hooty]

Good thing your daughter didn't marry someone in the military!