Community Chat

[Lila Belle]

@Hooty, I've moved away from my parents 8 times in the past 14 years. We're as close as we've always been no matter how far away we are. Sure there are times I want my mom and dad but our times together are all the more special.

[Irshgrl31201]

Wow! I am overwhelmed by the nice things people had to say and all the support. I haven't had a chance to get back on until today but I am going to go through each one and thank you all! Again! Thanks so much!

A couple of days in, I am feeling a lot better. The initial shock has worn off and I am excited for my daughter and her husband. Plus, I LOVE Austin so I will be visiting lots. My daughter is very excited for this opportunity!

[Serenity-Now]

@Lucky Charm...thank you for saying this, because I thought I was a weirdo & worried about being the only one who feels this way.  Now I know it isn't just me.  I have a Facebook page for playing online games, but I don't want to join family & friend Facebook pages, because when I see how much fun they all have together while my dh & I are alone & ill & have no one to share our lives with, & it only drives that painful fact home harder & more painfully by being a part of that social network & seeing how much richer other people's lives are without us being a part of it, than we are able to have with our limitations & living so far apart from them, since they moved away.

Please understand:  we don't begrudge everyone else having full lives....we just don't need or want to have our noses rubbed in that fact, while we are here alone struggling so hard with our own existance, without any assistance from those we love, whatsoever.  It doesn't help to know how great everyone else has it, while we struggle on our own, alone.

Bless you for sharing your thoughts, it has really helped...thank you 

[ChynnaBlue]

@Irshgrl31201, I moved to Austin in 1999, leaving my family in California. I still miss them and they miss me and wish that I would move back, so I know.

Ask your son in law is he's checked a cost of living comparison calculator online. I don't know where in NC you are, but the cost of living in Austin has increased a lot over the last few years and the property tax rate is very high.

And I would recommend that you talk to you daughter about using Skype to keep in touch. With Skype and a tablet or computer with a camera, you can do video chats and "see" each other as often as you'd like. You might be able to set up a weekly call time. If you have a pre-arranged video chat time, it means no one is caught off guard with a messy room or looking your worst. There's only a one hour time difference, which also helps. My dad LOVES to call me at 10:00pm my time, which is not cool because I'm trying to wind down for bed. I try to remember to call him around 4:00 on Sunday afternoon to prevent the 10:00 callls.

[Vivian]

My daughter and family, at that time my two very young grandchildren, lived 3 hours away. We visited often, as did they. Then my son in law got a job 1200 miles away. It was a great opportunity. They moved. I was heartbroken, as was my other daughter, who lived only half an hour from them. We certainly have flown to them many times in the 15 years since they moved but it is challenging. There's no doubt we saw them far less than we would have if they hadn't moved. Nevertheless, we worked hard to maintain a close relationship with the grandkids. Our grandson just graduated from college and our granddaughter from high school. We were there for the ceremonies and the celebrations.

To this day it saddens me that they moved so far away but my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren have done very well and they're happy. That's the bottom line. This is not about me but about what's best for them. Yes, you will be sad, upset, even angry and resentful, but our goal is to raise responsible adults. It sounds like you've done a good job.

[MaggieMack]

@Serenity-Now, your sadness is palpable, and I am so sorry for your experience. I don't do FB, either, because it just doesn't interest me to spend time on a lot of nothing. You are wise. I'm sending some (((hugs))) your way. May some wonderful blessings pass your way, today, tomorrow . . .

[momtochloe]

@Irshgrl31201 (((((hugs))))) I don't have words to describe how I feel but please know you have done such an outstanding job of raising your daughter and bless all of your families as these days this level of closeness have become increasingly rare.  I am as excited for your daughter, son in law and grandchild as my heart goes out to you if that makes sense.   

[momtochloe]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

Wow! I am overwhelmed by the nice things people had to say and all the support. I haven't had a chance to get back on until today but I am going to go through each one and thank you all! Again! Thanks so much!

A couple of days in, I am feeling a lot better. The initial shock has worn off and I am excited for my daughter and her husband. Plus, I LOVE Austin so I will be visiting lots. My daughter is very excited for this opportunity!

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You get what you give darlin' . . . best wishes to you my friend! . . . 

[Serenity-Now]

@MaggieMack, what a heartwarming message to receive from you!  You have really touched my heart, thank you so much 

[Irshgrl31201]

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@gmkb wrote:

I empathize with you because I would feel just as bad if I were in your position.  A good friend's son married a European girl and moved to her birth country.  They have 5 children.  My friend, who lives here, Skypes and visits for a month in the Spring and a month in the Fall.

She considers that airline fare a necessary part of her yearly household budget and that comes before any other travel expense.  She has been able to be a part of the children's life easily thru Skype and the visits.  Maybe not ideal, but still good.

I wish you and your family well in this transition.  And who knows, maybe a move to Austin will be in your future.

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@gmkb, oh how wonderful. That is great that she is able to spend so much time with them and what a wonderful place to "have" to visit. I love the way she thinks about it as necessary for the household budget! Thank you for sharing that with me!