Just found out about 15 minutes ago that - Page 5

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@VanSleepy wrote:
I know you just found this out and are feeling sad, but don't forget how hard this would be for her, too. I was the "daughter". In my 20s I moved across the country from my family and life-long friends (husband's job also). It was awful. Lean on each other and know you will all be fine

You are absolutely right. What ever I am feeling, she must be too only magnified!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@Noel7 wrote:
@Irshgrl31201

How bittersweet for you I know you will be going back and forth often.

When my girl is busy or traveling we keep in touch by way of messaging, I love that feature on the iPad. I often ask her for a selfie just so I can see how she looks that day . It helps.

Hope you are well.

@Noel7, thanks so much! I am well and hope you are too! The selfie is a great idea!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

I am off to bed now ladies. I have an early morning.

Again, thanks so much for everyone who commented. You really made me feel a lot better. The initial shock has worn off! lol!

I will be checking back tomorrow but thanks for taking the time out to comment.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@Big Sister wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 Hello. As you probably know a lot can happen in a year.
If they move, you can and will adjust in time. The best thing you can do for that young family is send them off with hugs and smiles.

The greatest gift my mother gave me when I decided to move 2,000 miles away was to not feel guilty for leaving, even though I think her heart was very sad, but she never showed it. I wish I could hug my mom now and say "thank you."

Though you are sad for now, you will be okay.

You are absolutely right and I would NEVER want to make my daughter feel guilty even one bit. I want her to live her life and enjoy it and never have to worry about me putting her on a guilt trip. You had a great mom!!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@Big Sister wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 Hello. As you probably know a lot can happen in a year.
If they move, you can and will adjust in time. The best thing you can do for that young family is send them off with hugs and smiles.

The greatest gift my mother gave me when I decided to move 2,000 miles away was to not feel guilty for leaving, even though I think her heart was very sad, but she never showed it. I wish I could hug my mom now and say "thank you."

Though you are sad for now, you will be okay.

@Big Sister: Your post brought tears to my eyes. Sounds like we had the same mom. DH got a great promotion 1,000 miles away from home, and she was our cheerleader. DS was their pride and joy (saw them each day). I will never forget waving goodbye and seeing her cry openly in front of us. I asked her later how she was doing, and she told me she cried all day over us. This was 27 years ago.

@Irshgrl31201: You will find ways to keep in touch with your darling family. Technology has changed so much that makes it so much easier to stay connected nowadays. Congratulations to your family.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

When we can afford to visit our children a few times a year, that certainly is fortunate. Since you all get along splendidly, and you have a grandchild as well, Im sure you've pondered the thought of possibly moving to Austin? I know for myself, I'd have to be closer to family. I don't mean living in their home either. I'm sure you'll be able to find a home, towns house or condo that would appeal to you. Unless frequent trips do the trick, but that gets old quickly.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Irshgrl31201

I haven't read all the replies yet, but just wanted to give you a hug, from one mom to another.

It is never easy when our kids leave. That first day of school, college, marriage, or a big move for careers. It all hurts and we shed a lot of tears with each one. You think it would get easier, but it doesn't.

Your family was feeling complete and content. Your lives overlapped and mingled just the way you always wish they would. Then change comes.

It is so hard to have news that is both happy and sad at the same time, but that is just what this is.

Perhaps he (they) won't take the offer because it won't be that magic number. Perhaps he (they) will think it too big a sacrifice to move that far from family. Perhaps they will leave. But is sounds like even if he does take the promotion, it will have some time to settle in on all of you before the actual move, which is so much better than a sudden departure.

Things like this, which are good news, still remind us just how lucky we are when we have those we love close by, and we need to remember to enjoy every minute, as it can change quickly, in today's job market.

You didn't ask for advice, but I'd tell you to take a deep breath, don't let them see you sweat, so they can make the decisions they need to without any guilt or sadness. Start to try to look forward to the fun it will be traveling to see them, and how special those times will be (something to look forward to).

And if they do move, jobs these days aren't forever. He could be transferred back, or closer, could end up with another company or any number of other things that may seem better than this does right now. I guess as the old folks in my family used to say, 'let's not put the cart before the horse', as it isn't a done deal just yet.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

You are SO blessed to have the around you now. We never were able to live near either of our families, although after my younger brother died, my mom flew wherever we were for special occasions.

What a great opportunity for your son-in-law! It's great too how your recognize this and how he and your daughter are carefully considering all of the pros and cons of the move.

We lived in San Antonio. I loved Austin! We got to go there a lot and it's an amazing city. Their music festivals are hard to beat.

Since it was just the two of you for so long, and if they do eventually relocate, is there any way possible you could go for extended visits? My parents never lived around their families either, and I have great memories of both of my grandmothers coming to stay with us for a few months at a time.

I imagine it will be hard for you to face. I always envied one of my close college friends. After they got married, she and her husband bought a house down the street from her parents. THAT would be my ideal situation. I know I will face this someday too. I always tell people who ask us where we will retire that it depends on where our children are. But nothing is certain. I guess if we can't live where they are, we can be there as much as we can!

(DS has been home from college for a few weeks. He leaves this weekend to go back for a while and will come home again the end of June - until August. I'm already dreading saying goodbye again. )

MomCat · ‎09-12-2010

There's a saying here in TX, that we'd be a lot better off if we could get rid of Austin. LOL Seriously, the whole state is booming. We have a huge market here where parents are purchasing second homes to follow their kids as they transfer. This will be so hard when it actually happens, but like you pointed out, easing into it is good.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

I can only imagine how you're feeling, and they may be feeling the same way.

We had this happen and had to decide if my husband was going to take the "career track" or what. He truly wanted to, as he was not close to his family. I was and had a really hard time with the idea of moving around.

To be honest, it probably did hurt his career quite a bit. But, our daughter had special needs, and I made the case that moving her was not a good idea. Her doctors, school, and my parents support weren't worth it for me. He went along with me, but I think it did bother him.

He now feels we did the right thing because of my daughter. In the scope of life, I don't regret it a bit. Since your grandchild is only 2, I suppose if they relocate now it won't be so hard on a child.

Wishing you all the best.

Hyacinth