Community Chat

[occasionalrain]

Often obituaries will have listed the deceased's favorite charity. It would be better to make a donation in their name and the charity will send the family a card. Sometimes along with the donation, we'll also send flowers. We also make a donation to the local animal shelter when a friend's pet dies.

[ValuSkr]

If you, an outsider to the family, were specifically invited, then you should go.  The wind chimes are very nice, but your presence will be gift enough.

[GenXmuse]

I like your gift idea a lot but definitely take it to them or mail.

[Knit-Chick]

I agree with others that it is best to either mail or give the gift outside of the service.  Around here there is typically a box provided for sympathy cards and monetary gifts, but there usually isn't a good place for gifts.

Also wanted to add that when my mom passed away a few years ago, my coworkers gave me a windchime.  Her obiturary listed a hospice for donations, but it was nice to get something like the windchime in remembrance of her.  It's a very  thoughtful gift and I'm sure the family will appreciate it.

[chrystaltree]

If I didn't know the family and I knew that I would be the only non family member at the family, I would not go.  I would not intrude on the family.  But, if you go don't take a gift.  It's not a party.  Take sympathy card, add a personal note.  If you are going to the repast, you can take a food item although that isn't necessary.  When my mom died, too many people brought food and left us with the task of figuring out what to do with it all.  

[chrystaltree]

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@Istru wrote:

Forgot to mention. I was specifically invited by the family. 

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The family you said you don't know?

[Love my grandkids]

@chrystaltree  The OP is NOT "intruding". She was specifically invited.

@Istru I've never heard of taking a gift to a funeral and I personally can't stand wind chimes. But I would send it to them and not take it. It just sounds odd to me but I've never heard of or seen a gift being taken to a funeral.

[Sage04]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@Istru wrote:

Forgot to mention. I was specifically invited by the family. 

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The family you said you don't know?

@chrystaltree  she Posted that she has never met the REST of the family. 

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[KBEANS]

I received an expression of comfort and love at the funeral of a close family member. In that moment, I was touched and lifted by the person who presented me with the gift! For a brief moment, the gift gave me something else to think about and I truly appreciated the sentiment.  I did not forget it at the funeral parlor and I remember that moment to this day! @Istru  I don't find it inappropriate or strange but as a personal touch from a friend! ♥️ 

[skatting44]

If you know  the family well , than it could be appropriate.  Often families are given plants  as  gifts , some of which are the type that can be planted in the ground to bloom the following years as a memory to the deceased person . I received a  perennial plant , hydrangea with a silver plant identifier marker that could be engraved . I planted the flower and  when it reblooms each yr , I think of my deceased family member . So, yes I could see that wind chimes  could be seen as an appropriate gift , If you know the person pretty well  and you  write a note in the card  with a reason  for  the gift , otherwise it may misinterpreted  .