Community Chat

[Carmie]

With postage being so expensive and the need to provide a stamp on a RSVP card for return runs into big bucks.

I understand why couples do the RSVP on line now.

Asking for cash is tacky....period.

Thankfully, being Italian, tradition means we only give cash or a check to the couple.  I have never in my life bought a wedding gift.

There will probably be a shower, so wrapped gifts can be given then.

Traditions and manners are changing.

[ROMARY]

Now-a-days everything is 'different'.  

I guess we should 'go along' to 'get along'.

Wishing this couple and all concerned the very best of luck.

[Bri369]

I've always given money for the wedding gift.  That doesn't bother me at all.  What I do find tacky is funding a honeymoon or something.  Use my gift however you wish.  Enjoy it whoever you wish.  Please don't tell me to contribute to your honeymoon or some such event.  

QR codes are a popular way to respond or a link that takes you to their website with how many are attending and dinner choices.  So much easier, IMO.  

[ROMARY]

Just guessing that the couple most likely has enough household items.

And, if not, they probably have their personal decor style, items, towels, colors, etc.

I do think that it's best to send $$ or a gift card.  

Why burden the couple's time re: having to return or exchange gifts.  

Again, wishing them well.

[LizzieInSRQ]

@JeanLouiseFinch you can give them ANY gift you want to.

I dont get dictated to when it comes to gifts. I use registries as a tool when i dont know or dont care what i give as a gift lol

[Sooner]

@JeanLouiseFinch From the beginning of this post, it sounds as if you really don't much like or approve of this woman or them as a couple.  If I felt that way, I'd rethink the relationship. 

It may be one that has basically run its coarse so maybe just respond with regrets and let it all go and the happy couple will be off ever after.  Sometimes weddings mark a new chapter.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

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@LizzieInSRQ wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch you can give them ANY gift you want to.

I dont get dictated to when it comes to gifts. I use registries as a tool when i dont know or dont care what i give ss a gift lol

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@LizzieInSRQ  - I may still go through with my original plan.  To me, cash, a gift card, or check is easy but impersonal.  I've really given the gift some thought this far in advance because it will be something custom designed and personalized just for them, something one of a kind. I was going to place the order next month. 

[beach-mom]

I've been to a lot of weddings, both younger and older couples. I understand the bride's excitement at her first marriage, but I agree it's a little much.

The first time I saw the "contribute to our honeymoon" thing I couldn't believe it. Now it seems to be the norm, either that or cash. I just hope couples think about us briefly when they're having lunch at the villa by the sea (not inexpensive). 

We have also given cash, which seems to be more and more common as the years pass. 

But if I see the perfect gift that I really want to give them, I would buy it and be joyful in giving that gift to them. 

One of DH's former coworkers married in his 40's (first wedding). They both had been on their own for a while. They didn't "suggest" anything, and had no registry. Most people gave them gifts instead of cash. 

I have never seen a QR code on an invitation though!  

[cjm61]

@JeanLouiseFinch Although your original gift sounds like it could be amazing, I would not gift them with something that cannot be returned. Your gift may end up in the trash.

Unlike the majority of posts here, I don't have a problem at all with the couple requesting money. I don't think it's tacky, it's what they want, and it doesn't matter how old they are. I usually give a personalized type gift for the shower and money for wedding gift. But, do YOU. Whatever you are comfortable with. 

[LdyBugz]

Unbelievable! Getting a text to use a QR code to see your invite and RSVP? No way!

I am so tired of hearing the excuse "times have changed" to justify such tacky behavior. I personally would not respond, and I certainly would not attend the wedding.