Is This How Weddings Are Done Now?

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

We know someone (F - 40's - first marriage for her) who met someone last year (Widowed M - 50's). They hit it off and got engaged sometime around Christmas. Her Facebook page is flooded with their travel log and lovey dovey pictures documenting every moment. When we saw her last October she had already gone dress shopping and showed me several options on her phone when she didn't even have the ring yet. At that time, she said we would be invited, but DH either wasn't paying attention or he forgot. We happened to bump into her yesterday and she had to tell us that she just picked up her dress in the morning. The wedding isn't until June. Again, she said we'd be getting an invitation.

I just received a text a few minutes ago with a picture of an invitation and directions to use a QR Code to RSVP. When I opened the site, there's a long video of "their story" with all the same lovey dovey pictures that I've already seen, plus the added bonus of the video of their engagement on the beach which, to tell ya the truth, looks staged. Next was the schedule and instructions on how to dress. The best part was the registry that said if we want to give a gift for the wedding we are encouraged to give a cash gift using our choice of three provided link options for their honeymoon fund and beyond. And if you don't like using any of the links, you can give cash or a gift card at the wedding. Wouldn't you think that a middle aged couple could afford their own honeymoon?

I'm dumbfounded. Obviously, I must be way behind the times. I don't mind using a website to RSVP, I've done that a couple of times already, but getting an invitation by text? Is that what weddings have come to now? And apparently cash is the only acceptable gift. I had something special planned for them, but it was going to be a wrapped present. Not anymore, I guess.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch

I agree that these changes are NOT improvements.

However, the couple is older and probably have all the "stuff" they need. I doubt they need or want a new mixer or fruit bowl, and probably didn't register at some store. It would be wasted money.

Asking for cash is tacky, IMO, but people DO want guidance.

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

Wow, it does seem a bit over the top for a 2nd marriage. Most people seem to keep it much more simple. I haven't been to a wedding in quite a few years now and I wouldn't know what to expect these days. I know the last one I did go to sent a photo postcard of the bride and groom after as a thank you, which simply had "thank you" printed on the back........no personalization at all.

I'm sorry but I did get a chuckle out of the "lovey, dovey" thing. But I do think it's a little crazy and she's somewhat acting like an immature woman, it struck me as attention seeking. I wish you luck with this one and would love to hear your story after the event!

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@LindaSal wrote:
Wow, it does seem a bit over the top for a 2nd marriage. Most people seem to keep it much more simple. I haven't been to a wedding in quite a few years now and I wouldn't know what to expect these days. I know the last one I did go to sent a photo postcard of the bride and groom after as a thank you, which simply had "thank you" printed on the back........no personalization at all.

I'm sorry but I did get a chuckle out of the "lovey, dovey" thing. But I do think it's a little crazy and she's somewhat acting like an immature woman, it struck me as attention seeking. I wish you luck with this one and would love to hear your story after the event!

Then I have communicated accurately and you pegged her well, @LindaSal. 😆

teganslaw · ‎03-11-2010

This does seem to be the norm here in U.S. and other countries. It's easy and cost efficient. It doesn't bother me.

The problem I would have is responding by QR code. Not every phone does coding. There should be alternative ways available of responding.

I don't go for the "lovey dovey" hype. To me it's showing off and unnecessary. You already know how they feel because of the wedding invitation. The rest is grandstanding.

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

Mark Twain

shoesnbags · ‎03-10-2010

They could have avoided "tacky" and just stated that they both had all the household items they needed so were asking for the joy of your presence, with no gifts expected. Too bad they aren't as mature as they might be, given their ages. As far as funding their honeymoon, I guess that depends on how close you are to them and how much you want to indulge them.

"Breathe in, breathe out, move on." Jimmy Buffett

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

It's her first marriage though so that explains why she is over the top.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

My RSVP would be regrets.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

This kinda stuff has been going on for a long time. Back in the 80's, a girlfriend of mine had been living with her beau for many years (in a very lavish house).

They finally were married in an elablorate religious church ceremony. White dress, bridesmaids and flower girls....and a BIG BUCKS reception at a country club.

I was kinda bewildered at the "whole show"...

♥Surface of the Sun♥

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@JeanLouiseFinch You certainly did and if I had a gag emoji I would post it! What is she doing, trying to act like a 20 year old? I find lovey dovey stuff icky. You have nailed it. I personally wouldn't contribute a dime. At their ages let them pay for their own honeymoon or stay home.