Community Chat

[We rescue cats]

Weddings seem to have become money making events for some folks instead of a celebration.

[haddon9]

Oh boy!  It sounds like so much entitlement and all about ME, ME, ME!!!  It's bad enough when twenty somethings act like this but a 40 year old should know better. 

Maybe this 40 year old bride has experienced many of her friends getting to feel like a princess and now she feels like it is her turn...who knows?  Anyway it is over the top silly!!  I would be embarrassed if it were my daughter .

That said, modern brides do usually have a wedding website with lots of helpful information.  My daughter told me that many of her generation just don't bother with checking accounts today.  I asked her how do they send a gift?  She told me through sites like Venmo or you can add to their fund which is usually called "Honeymoon" or "House" on their registry or wedding website.  One benefit is that you don't have to bring a card with a check which could get lost or stolen.

You can  also just ignore all of the silly stuff,  wish them well and give and how you want to.

[Kachina624]

@JeanLouiseFinch.  lol, Welcome to the cyber age.  I'd go buy the pickle dish you'd planned, wrap it and take it to the wedding. I think we still have freedom of gift giving, tho that's subject to change.

Sounds like they've already had the honeymoon.

You'd think a middle aged couple would have better manners.

Reminds me of the big ado Jen Coffey made over her wedding.  Similar situation.

[Bonkers1]

If you are mentioning this then of course you are not comfortable with it. I would go with my first inclination or send "regrets".

[kaydee50]

I guess she thought she would never get married and is now going overboard with the whole thing.  Agree with previous poster and send "regrets" since it's only "someone we know" and not anyone closer.  IMO, shows a lack of common sense on her part.

[lynnie61]

Well, times have changed.  I've heard and seen the requests for cash only.  One even asked if someone wanted to pay for an event with prices listed. (A ballon ride, a scuba dive, massages).  I think it's tacky.  The best was a big, lavish wedding I went to was a scrolled piece of paper at each seat.  The "scrolled" thank you provided at the wedding.  I guess better than no thank you.

I do understand maybe being extra excited being her first wedding but still, I think it's tacky.  

[shoekitty]

Yes, weddings have changed.  This sounds about average for a previously married, or older couple.  I had a wedding for granddaughter 3 yrs ago, and I was surprised how many people call and ask me, what do they really want?  My granddaughter had gift site, and a honeymoon fund. She didnt even put up a gift site until later, she would say, anything.  lol.   She was so excited to get married.she was 34, first marriage, but they had been together 8 years   I would think being older, give money to the honeymoon fund.  But those honeymoon funds have rules too.  Cash is better.  Everything is done online now a days. I don't like it, but that's the way it is. I insisted on hard copy invites, save the dates, didn't care about cost or postage for granddaughter. But I notice sometimes now they do everything electronically.  Invites, save the dates, thank yous. Although the presents came to home it was confusing as a couple we couldn't find who gave. We put some rffort into finding who it,was from.  Some reception sites dont want gifts at reception either.    Anyway, go with the flow.  They are probably all excited and having fun. They probably wanted to make sure you got all the videos, even tho you had seen them. Sometimes second weddings are more exciting that first marriages.   Send some cash or a check, and wish them well

[hopi]

Problem is that I would not respond to a QR code for anything.

I wouldn't want to attend any event like that.

If you see her in person again and she asks just say you couldn't figure out the instructions  and congratulate her on her marriage.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

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@lynnie61 wrote:

Well, times have changed.  I've heard and seen the requests for cash only.  One even asked if someone wanted to pay for an event with prices listed. (A ballon ride, a scuba dive, massages).  I think it's tacky.  The best was a big, lavish wedding I went to was a scrolled piece of paper at each seat.  The "scrolled" thank you provided at the wedding.  I guess better than no thank you.

I do understand maybe being extra excited being her first wedding but still, I think it's tacky.  

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Oh yeah, that's on there too, @lynnie61 .  Dinner for two on their honeymoon. $200 price tag.  🙄

[shoekitty]

I was rereading post, and are the bride is 40. That is young!   She is excited, sounds like she's over the moon.  They have been vacationing it seems.  I wouldn't think to much, or be offended by anything. I don't think it's a lack of manners, totally.  lol. However, if you don't feel comfortable going, or don't want to.  Send regrets, and  best wishes. Act excited for her, lol.  Then send gift of your choosing.  In the long run, gift is up to you. Again, things are different today. They just are.  I may not like everything, but I just go with the flow in these cases, and give what I want