Hi, NC Bandwagon!
Regarding new posters being met with a skeptical eye, unfortunately there have been many who've created new accounts with the sole purpose of baiting, inflaming, inciting, and lots of established posters have become weary of the "game." (There are a few who target specific posters, and instead of using their known account they create a new one to follow and mock the people they don't like.) As a result, the "new" poster isn't always greeted warmly (to say the least), especially if they appear out of the blue with contentious posts or by immediately starting new threads.
I don't know why we encounter so much meanness here. For certain, it's present elsewhere on the internet, and I think it's worse when people are using silly nicknames (yep, mine is silly
), posting anonymously, and feeling less accountable. Also, as Bluegrassbaby said so well, the written word is limited and we don't always come across the way we intended.
Over time, most of us develop a bit of a thicker skin and find our own way to cope with the inevitable negativity. While it's easy to say "let it roll off," "don't take it seriously," etc., (and I often give that advice), the fact remains that there is a human being on the other side of the screen, and sometimes posters have seriously painful, upsetting things going on in their real life and are vulnerable -- and some people do get hurt. (And the sad commentary is the fact that a tiny minority of posters are counting on intentionally creating real hurt.)
I do my best to ignore the negative posters (I don't use the "ignore" feature, but I bypass those comments) because the best defense is to avoid acknowledging them, take the oxygen away -- they can't flourish without recognition.
That's my novella for now.
Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova