Community Chat

[jubilant]

On 12/29/2014 ury said:

"They are watching where you tie your goat," And like Dad said...."Don't let them see where you tie your goat."

Jubilant, I love your dad's words. Dr. William Ury, Mediation guru and negotiator, advises us to remain a mystery to people who are not in our inner circle of trust. I wish Dr. Ury would have completed the sentence with your dad's wise words. Again, love it. Thanks for sharing

You're welcome, ury. I was young and didn't quite get it when my dad first said it....then one day it just clicked and a light bulb came on. One of the wiser pieces of advise he ever gave me.

[NC Bandwagon]

Very good advice from everyone. Thank you all again.

[dobiesrule]

I have often wondered this myself. I have seen posters viciously attacked for just nicely expressing an opinion. And some people just seem to be mean and enjoy it. I don't get that either. It's really a shame.

[SelahG]

NC---my fellow Nick fan! Don't allow those who are miserable from carrying old grudges, and so deliberately cruel or nasty earn your attention. No amount of scolding, lecturing, tattling or even well-intended advice will make any impact. It only doubles their determination and robs you of time and energy. Some simply choose to learn the hard way---leave them to it, friend and carry on enjoying your journey! That's here---and everywhere. A happy and healthy 2015 to you!

[Inner_Wealth]

I wish I could also know the answer to this... sadly the world is often so cold to one another...

Life is just way too precious to be anything other than kind , compassionate and respectful...

There is a quote I heard recently that I have now personally adopted---"Your opinion of me is none of my business"....

[dooBdoo]

On 12/29/2014 jubilant said:

I think it's best to respond to the troublemakers with as few words as possible. Once you react and "lose your cool" they have won. That's what they wanted in the first place and that is why they say what they say. They are insecure people and it's really very sad as they usually end up lonely old people because (without help) they rarely change. We need to learn not to be shocked by their actions. They just love the "shock value" they think they have and actually do have if you let it! They are some of the smartest manipulators around. I have said this before and I will say it again...because it is something my Dad taught me.....They are watching where you tie your goat and like Dad said...."Don't let them see where you tie your goat" I don't know about you.... but I don't care to give a person that much power over me. I wish we could all come to the point where we see it for what it is and not be quite so sensitive to it or shocked by it. It just fuels their fire. I am not running anyone down here for venting....I do understand and wished I would have learned this much earlier in my life than I did. It would have saved me a lot of pain.

I'm so glad you posted this, jubilant! As you probably remember, when you posted this on another thread quite some time ago it really hit home with me. I had just returned to the forums after leaving for several months, and your words clicked that light bulb on for me and helped me choose to not allow others to have "that much power over me." I've shared it many times since, always with credit to you and your father.

Your entire post is eloquent and excellent, but I wanted to highlight that particular comment.

[NC Bandwagon]

On 12/30/2014 SelahG said:

NC---my fellow Nick fan! Don't allow those who are miserable from carrying old grudges, and so deliberately cruel or nasty earn your attention. No amount of scolding, lecturing, tattling or even well-intended advice will make any impact. It only doubles their determination and robs you of time and energy. Some simply choose to learn the hard way---leave them to it, friend and carry on enjoying your journey! That's here---and everywhere. A happy and healthy 2015 to you!

Hello, SelahG and thank you very, very much. I won't let it get to me and I'll try to be nicer, too. Happy New Year to you and everyone else as well. Thanks again to everyone for all of their wonderful advice.

[jubilant]

On 12/30/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 12/29/2014 jubilant said:

I think it's best to respond to the troublemakers with as few words as possible. Once you react and "lose your cool" they have won. That's what they wanted in the first place and that is why they say what they say. They are insecure people and it's really very sad as they usually end up lonely old people because (without help) they rarely change. We need to learn not to be shocked by their actions. They just love the "shock value" they think they have and actually do have if you let it! They are some of the smartest manipulators around. I have said this before and I will say it again...because it is something my Dad taught me.....They are watching where you tie your goat and like Dad said...."Don't let them see where you tie your goat" I don't know about you.... but I don't care to give a person that much power over me. I wish we could all come to the point where we see it for what it is and not be quite so sensitive to it or shocked by it. It just fuels their fire. I am not running anyone down here for venting....I do understand and wished I would have learned this much earlier in my life than I did. It would have saved me a lot of pain.

I'm so glad you posted this, jubilant! As you probably remember, when you posted this on another thread quite some time ago it really hit home with me. I had just returned to the forums after leaving for several months, and your words clicked that light bulb on for me and helped me choose to not allow others to have "that much power over me." I've shared it many times since, always with credit to you and your father.

Your entire post is eloquent and excellent, but I wanted to highlight that particular comment.

Oh, thank you, doobdoo! Now that you mention it....I do remember. The memory is a little sluggish lately so I need all the reminders I can get! It means a lot to me that it has helped someone. I thought people might be getting sick of hearing it. So glad you are passing it on to help others....but then....that's what you do...and I am grateful for having crossed paths with you and others here like you. I know it hasn't been easy for you the past couple of years and am so happy you came back to us.

[SelahG]

On 12/30/2014 NC Bandwagon said:

On 12/30/2014 SelahG said:

NC---my fellow Nick fan! Don't allow those who are miserable from carrying old grudges, and so deliberately cruel or nasty earn your attention. No amount of scolding, lecturing, tattling or even well-intended advice will make any impact. It only doubles their determination and robs you of time and energy. Some simply choose to learn the hard way---leave them to it, friend and carry on enjoying your journey! That's here---and everywhere. A happy and healthy 2015 to you!

Hello, SelahG and thank you very, very much. I won't let it get to me and I'll try to be nicer, too. Happy New Year to you and everyone else as well. Thanks again to everyone for all of their wonderful advice.

You're very, very welcome, NC! Thanks for the reminder that we can all stand to be a bit kinder to everyone, every day. I'm happy to hear the troubles of a few will not discourage you from posting here.