Community Chat

[this is my nic]

I love my friends and would hate to lose any of them, however, when it becomes evident that the desire to get together is one sided, I'd have to give up. So, my answer to her would be no answer.

[Love my grandkids]

I think you so-called "friend's" position is clear. Let it go. I know, I had to do it years ago.

[jeanlake]

Listen to your husband. He cares about you. Back off of the relationship. If it's important, it will be revived. Don't read too much into it - take the emotions out of it and limit sharing your opinions. It will only make it worse. That's a tough situation -- but try to give it a rest ... for now.

[Shorty2U]

Thanks for the replies. I have backed off? As far as not getting together but once a year. That does not mean you arent friends anymore. It means people are rapped up in their own lives.

Example; I have a friend in California that I see once every 5 years but we pick up where we left off.

Anyway- As far as meeting new people I have a few long time good friends but more importantly my husband, children, grandchildren who are my best friends. That's good enough for me! I am blessed and I know that!

[stevieb]

Personally, I'd either just let it go and let her take the initiative or I'd stop with the writing and call. If she plays the 'can't commit' game during a conversation, then I might just be tempted to nicely (or as nicely as I can) simply say it doesn't seem like you want to get together, so just let me know if that changes. Leave the ball in her court, because you will have done what you reasonably can to maintain the friendship.

It's hard to acknowledge when people are repeatedly disrespecting us or are trying (either intentionally or not...) to distance themselves from us, but at some point we simply have to accept that the relationship isn't as important to them as it might be to us... Should you all not get together in the short term, I might consider simply sending a note after the holidays expressing your hope that she enjoyed them and briefly and without trying to engender guilt explaining that you have valued her friendship and regret that it appears you've grown apart. Then, I'd let it go and again, leave the ball in her court.