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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,814
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I've had people do things like that to me too. After a while you get fed up with it and move on. I would let her go and not bother with her anymore. We are all busy and have things going on. You tried a couple of times and she brushed you off. If you ever hear from her again and she tries to plan a certain day for a get together, I'd tell her I was busy. Doesn't sound like she values the friendship anymore.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I would send her a E Mail and say that her schedule must be a lot more crowded than yours is so perhaps she should find a date that works for her and then let you know when she can make it and then you will check your calender. Then drop it.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I think you have done your part. The next move is hers.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,570
Registered: ‎09-13-2012

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I'd just tell her to let you know when she can do it and then go if you are able to. If not, tell her you're busy. I wouldn't blow the friendship up over this after so many years. I'd be reluctant to tell her off because you don't know what's going on in her life. It's possible that someone is sick or there's some other problem she's dealing with and she doesn't want to say before you get together (or at all).

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I have been in a similar situation with long-time "friends." However painful it might be, the truth may just be that you don't mean that much to her in her current life. This does not reflect on you. It is very likely not anything you have said or done. She just doesn't want to bother. I would stop writing, if she says nothing, I would just let communication go for good. She will of course blame *you* for the friendship drifting, because it's easier for her conscience that way. If she does contact you, only agree if it's truly convenient for you. If it isn't, say no. And she will still "blame" you. This is just what happens when one of a pair of friends doesn't care any more. It's a bit painful, but if you hold your ground you will have self respect and you won't have really lost anything - it was lost over the years.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,413
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

sounds as if this friendship is petering out.

I would email her once more letting her know your schedule is booked till after the new year, and you are not sure what will be available in the new year.

let her beg you guys for a "date" to get together, give her a feeling of what it is like to be on receiving end of this kind of friendship.

I am pretty sure, the friendship as run its course, and if you see them again, it will be a moment when you run into them by chance.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,779
Registered: ‎09-06-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I'm not seeing a friendship here if you are having difficulties such as you are having. I would just ignore the whole thing, and it will eventually go away. Don't sweat it.....let go......

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

From the OP.

Thanks again for the continued replies. I have let it go. If I hear from her fine. If not, theres no more I can do.

Although for someone having things to deal with she was on facebook all Friday night and today posting/playing games.lol. (I know b/c I saw her posts when I went on the past 2 days).

What that means I don't know, but it seems her and her hubby don't care to go out w us. Odd because for months she asked us but never committed to a day and kept saying cant go then, cant go now etc.

Oh well.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles
Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,779
Registered: ‎09-06-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

On 11/22/2014 Shorty2U said:

From the OP.

Thanks again for the continued replies. I have let it go. If I hear from her fine. If not, theres no more I can do.

Although for someone having things to deal with she was on facebook all Friday night and today posting/playing games.lol. (I know b/c I saw her posts when I went on the past 2 days).

What that means I don't know, but it seems her and her hubby don't care to go out w us. Odd because for months she asked us but never committed to a day and kept saying cant go then, cant go now etc.

Oh well.

As I suggested in my post.......just let go......

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,916
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

On 11/22/2014 Shorty2U said:

From the OP.

Thanks again for the continued replies. I have let it go. If I hear from her fine. If not, theres no more I can do.

Although for someone having things to deal with she was on facebook all Friday night and today posting/playing games.lol. (I know b/c I saw her posts when I went on the past 2 days).

What that means I don't know, but it seems her and her hubby don't care to go out w us. Odd because for months she asked us but never committed to a day and kept saying cant go then, cant go now etc.

Oh well.

</ Obviously, you cannot see beyond what YOU want and what you need. The friendship faded a long time ago and you just don't see it. One dinner a year, assuming you live near each other, pretty much tells the story. You think of her as the bff she was when you were girls, she doesn't feel that way. If you have no relationship now and nothing in common and never see each other; there friendship is over. And that's ok. People come and go in our lives all tge time. Perhaps it's time for you to develop new interests and meet some new people.