Re: How do you feel about this?

sgraham30 · ‎03-14-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.
I do not like it at all. WHO said it was their time?

I didn't like it either when anyone said that to me after my mother died, I felt like smacking them (not smack as in kissing either) Another one that really angered me was "she's in a better place now."

granny me · ‎09-05-2014

@Teddie wrote:
Shortly after I lost my dad, I sat at my table with a friend and I was hurting so much and crying. She said every possible cliche you can imagine. Even though I knew she meant well, everything she said hurt me more and I couldn't stop crying. How about just sit with me and tell me how sorry you are? That's all I wanted.

The friendship also died and we no longer see each other. But I've always hated the pat answers some give in trying to make someone feel better.

I am sorry for the loss of your dad, but if she was your friend why didn't you tell her that her presence was all that would really help you at the time?

dex · ‎03-09-2010

I have heard people comment that someone died before their time.i don't know if there is ever a good time unless you are very ill and in a lot of pain and there is no hope.We all will have our time,but I would not make that comment to a grieving or seriously ill person.

granny me · ‎09-05-2014

@Mominohio wrote:
@granny me wrote:
Yes as a bible believer it says in Ecclesiastes 3:2 a time to be born and a time to die. I believe our dates are predetermined. It doesn't mean I walk out into traffic believing if it isn't my day I won't die, but I do believe just as our time to be born is known so is the time to die.

Hence the problem when looking at it from a biblical point of view.

If our time is marked, why should we do anything to protect our life? Why eat smart or keep our weight under control? Why not take every risk that suits our fancy?

I have been told by religion all my life that it is predestined. I just really struggle with whether I believe it is or not.

I question that 'a time to...' might mean there is a time, but is it written in stone? Is it 'chosen' in advance, or is it something that a deity decides at any given time in our existence?

Great topic, and one I struggle with!

As I stated previously, because I believe this doesn't mean I walk out into traffic expecting to live. I mean common sense goes a long way.

sgraham30 · ‎03-14-2010

@granny me wrote:
@Teddie wrote:
Shortly after I lost my dad, I sat at my table with a friend and I was hurting so much and crying. She said every possible cliche you can imagine. Even though I knew she meant well, everything she said hurt me more and I couldn't stop crying. How about just sit with me and tell me how sorry you are? That's all I wanted.

The friendship also died and we no longer see each other. But I've always hated the pat answers some give in trying to make someone feel better.
I am sorry for the loss of your dad, but if she was your friend why didn't you tell her that her presence was all that would really help you at the time?

When my mother died, I was inconsolable. I didn't want to hear the platitudes, well meaning though they were, I just wanted to be hugged & be told that the person was sorry for my loss.

granny me · ‎09-05-2014

I have had loved ones die and not once did I ever think when a comment was made that I wanted to smack them, or lose a friendship because of what and how they said it. I was glad they were there and made an attempt to love me and console me the best they knew how. Not everyone is going to say the right thing at the right time. And what may be right to one person is not to another and how is someone to know? I am not that touchy to be angry about kindness being shown to me even if its not perfect.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

It's no worse a statement than " the doctor saved my life." or " she cheated death" Death is out of our hands. All living things must die, plants and animals. Dying is part of life and not the enemy. We will all get a turn when our times comes.

PurpleBunny · ‎03-09-2010

@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

When my mother died, the biggest thing that bothered me was when people said, "well, it was for the best."

NO, the "best" would have been if she never got sick or the "best" would have been if she recovered. I will never, ever say anything like that to anyone.

( \_/ )
(='x'=)
( " )_( " )

pieman · ‎11-21-2013

I have always believed this:

The day you are born, you begin to die....

We do not know how long we will be here but there is one.

He knows when it will be time to "go home".

There is nothing you can do to escape it,,,,,,,,,,

I just don't understand why one must suffer so much,

Maybe sounds ridiculous to some but that is how I have always felt...

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.
I have always felt that way - that when it's your time, it's your time. There are too many freak things that happen to people - wrong place, wrong time. Just had a woman here in Indiana die - she was a dog lover, last seen chasing a dog that was running loose - they found her dead by a stream. Just a freak accident. My first husband died at age 32 - he told my sister who didn't want to get on a plane to go to Hawaii that year for her anniversary - "When it's your time, it's your time". He told me later he already knew he was going to die. You hear of people who have smoked or drank all their lives and they live to be 100, others who die in their 30s. Just my opinion.

Did they say if she drowned trying to save a poodle?