Community Chat

[Lorik62]

I think just saying I'm so sorry goes a long way. I lost a child many years ago and for me this was the easiest for myself as well as those who wanted to comfort me. 

[lulu2]

Sometimes words help; sometimes they are inadequate. If you are going to see your friend, a hug or a hand squeeze may be enough. Just let your friend know you are there when she needs you.

Grief is much a personal thing. We all grieve differently.

[onewhiteSparrow]

It is hard no matter the situation.......

I was told about one hour again my friend lost his beautiful charming wife.    Their love for each other could always be seen ...all the time.    

[MarieIG]

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@catwhisperer wrote:

@MarieIG....the pain is unbelievable. Something one would not know unless they actually experienced it. The pain lessens in time, but you never forget. You live with it in your heart every single day.

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There is nothing worse.  I lost my parents whom I adored, but I know as awful as that was, there is nothing worse than loosing a child. Nothing.  I can't even contemplate the full extent of that grief, it is too painful to even imagine it, much less have to go though it.  My heart is aching for her. 

[Mominohio]

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@MarieIG wrote:

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@catwhisperer wrote:

@MarieIG....first of all, I am so sorry for your friend's loss. That is a tough question to answer. When I found out years ago that I lost my son, I layed in bed and cried for two weeks. I did not want to eat or talk to anyone. I imagine it's different for everyone. You might just tell your friend how sorry you are, is there anything you can do, and let your friend know you are there for support if needed. Let your friend take it from there.

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Thank you Catwhisperer.  I cannot imagine a worse pain for anyone.  I wish I could take her pain away, I wish I could give him back to her, I wish it wasn't true . . .   I will try . . . 

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What you just said here is a very good start.

[RedTop]

My daughters friend lost her twins at 30 weeks; very normal pregnancy, and she had just seen her doctor a few days before.   The mom struggled for many months, especially after the pathology report gave no answers as to why the babies died.  

One of the things she had the hardest time with, was the fact some of her friends didn't know what to do, so they did nothing.  She needed support, and wanted her girlfriends to visit with her, she wanted to talk about her babies.  One friend knew that pictures were taken of the babies after they were delivered, so she purchased a beautiful silver frame and had the names engraved on it.   Of all the kindnesses extended to this woman and her family, the frame has always been a special and much appreciated gift.   Another friend sends an encouraging note every year on the day the twins died, and always mentions their names and ages, which is very helpful to the mom in knowing her babies are remembered.   

[MarieIG]

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@Lorik62 wrote:

I think just saying I'm so sorry goes a long way. I lost a child many years ago and for me this was the easiest for myself as well as those who wanted to comfort me. 

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Lori Kaye, thank you. Many {{{hugs}}}

[ladyroxanne]

you are talking about the worst thing in the world that can happen to a person.  you tell her how sorry you are and you be there for your friend.  not just for one day or two, but for the next year or two.  it's a terribly long process, the healing and she will need all the love and support she can get.  

[Suziepeach]

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@Lila Belle wrote:
I'd start with " I'm sorry. " The rest will come naturally.

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Yes I couldn't agree more plus be there for her.  There maybe days she doesn't want any sympathy or comfort, people grieve differently.  Call every few days just to say Hi and do you need anything.   I am so sorry for your friend's lose. 

[bamasec]

Start by just listening and then things seem to come naturally.