Community Chat

[Free2be]

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 2/26/2015 moonchilde said:

SFNative, Marmalade has made it a point throughout the thread to dismiss the whole concept of differently-wired HSPs and those with neurological sensitivities as simply bad behavers she only wants to tell off and avoid. I am sure that HSPs are equally adamant about avoiding anyone with the same mindset.

Ah yes, she is such a ray of sunshine, a veritable angel of light!!

Actually I kinda agree with her..........I think we, as a society, love to label things and "make the booboo feel better".........we like things nice and tidy..........besides, IF it's an illness, then it's not our fault, our problem, or our anything.....you don't have to own it....everyone else must just turn a blind eye......................................raven

Raven, read above some of the posts. It has nothing to do with being an "illness."

illness was probably not a good choice of words on my part...........but..........it doesn't change much..........look I'm dyslexic.........so is one of my son's and by the way that is also considered a neurological disorder..........does that mean the world should change..........does that mean we should get a free pass on the area's in our life that is affected by that?.................NO...............it means it's up to us to figure it out, and make things work for us

I'm also an artist.........and I have said for years that artists are not hard wired the same as other people...........we don't "see" things the way others do..........we see in lights and darks, shapes, textures and don't even realize that's what we're taking in........it's automatic.........and we use it to our benefit

IF being "overly sensitive" is a medical thing, it's not my problem to fix or learn to deal with........no more then my dyslexia is anybodies problem but mine........ and mine to work out ways to minimize it's affect on my daily life...........................................raven

Not only has it been said over and over here that it isn't a medical condition, nor is it a problem, it is a way of being that isn't right or wrong, it just is.

Just as you don't slam doors, yell over the heads of others conversing, whistle regardless of what/who is around, you give the same considerations in ways anyone but a bonehead would consider good manners.

People who are highly sensitive will take care of themselves to avoid over stimulation. My daughter is both HSP and highly artistic, its a kind of sensitivity of its own. I would venture to guess that you, Raven, are highly sensitive to what you see with your eyes and with your mind but you are less sensitive in other areas. What is "automatic" to you is no different than what is an automatic way of responding to stimuli than anyone else. You are normal just as HSPs are normal.

This isn't an issue of one person is better developed than another or copes better. All of us are differently wired with certain commonalities and differences amongst us.

Why resist where change isn't possible? We adapt as best we can. No one is perfect at that.

[raven-blackbird]

On 2/26/2015 Marmalade said:

"Owning your own stuff"...that's a good way to put it and not expect the world to revolve around your problems because we've all got problems.

I think about what a teacher said earlier in this thread, RainyCityGirl...I cannot even imagine how difficult that would be.

As a teacher, I miss the days when you worked with people, both kids and adults, and didn't have to adjust your own behavior and class expectations in order to accommodate all the idiosyncrasies in others. In a classroom, it becomes an educational nightmare when there are 30 different kids getting a state provided education and you have to make varied exceptions for at least 10 of them.

well now you've brought up another pet peeve of mine LOL............when my son was going through school, I didn't think it was the school's problem to "fix" him......or provide anything because of his dyslexia.........in fact they didn't even catch it until two years after he had been diagnosed and was in special classes, after school, that we paid for at a private facility

I wasn't willing to place my son's well being, his future, his ability to compete and thrive in the government's hands.........and that's exactly what you do when you drop the problem in the lap of the teacher's/schools/public education..........so when or if the results are so so or less then satisfactory you've got no one to blame but yourself.

He was/is my son, he's part of this family and as a family we'll deal with it........simply because we love him and want to see him be successful..........his future is IMPORTANT to us........it's not a paycheck..........no offense to teachers, they have enough to deal with...................................raven

[LilacTree]

On 2/26/2015 Free2be said:

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 2/26/2015 moonchilde said:

SFNative, Marmalade has made it a point throughout the thread to dismiss the whole concept of differently-wired HSPs and those with neurological sensitivities as simply bad behavers she only wants to tell off and avoid. I am sure that HSPs are equally adamant about avoiding anyone with the same mindset.

Ah yes, she is such a ray of sunshine, a veritable angel of light!!

Actually I kinda agree with her..........I think we, as a society, love to label things and "make the booboo feel better".........we like things nice and tidy..........besides, IF it's an illness, then it's not our fault, our problem, or our anything.....you don't have to own it....everyone else must just turn a blind eye......................................raven

Raven, read above some of the posts. It has nothing to do with being an "illness."

illness was probably not a good choice of words on my part...........but..........it doesn't change much..........look I'm dyslexic.........so is one of my son's and by the way that is also considered a neurological disorder..........does that mean the world should change..........does that mean we should get a free pass on the area's in our life that is affected by that?.................NO...............it means it's up to us to figure it out, and make things work for us

I'm also an artist.........and I have said for years that artists are not hard wired the same as other people...........we don't "see" things the way others do..........we see in lights and darks, shapes, textures and don't even realize that's what we're taking in........it's automatic.........and we use it to our benefit

IF being "overly sensitive" is a medical thing, it's not my problem to fix or learn to deal with........no more then my dyslexia is anybodies problem but mine........ and mine to work out ways to minimize it's affect on my daily life...........................................raven

Not only has it been said over and over here that it isn't a medical condition, nor is it a problem, it is a way of being that isn't right or wrong, it just is.

Just as you don't slam doors, yell over the heads of others conversing, whistle regardless of what/who is around, you give the same considerations in ways anyone but a bonehead would consider good manners.

People who are highly sensitive will take care of themselves to avoid over stimulation. My daughter is both HSP and highly artistic, its a kind of sensitivity of its own. I would venture to guess that you, Raven, are highly sensitive to what you see with your eyes and with your mind but you are less sensitive in other areas. What is "automatic" to you is no different than what is an automatic way of responding to stimuli than anyone else. You are normal just as HSPs are normal.

This isn't an issue of one person is better developed than another or copes better. All of us are differently wired with certain commonalities and differences amongst us.

Why resist where change isn't possible? We adapt as best we can. No one is perfect at that.

Free!!

[raven-blackbird]

On 2/26/2015 Free2be said:

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

On 2/26/2015 raven-blackbird said:

On 2/26/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 2/26/2015 moonchilde said:

SFNative, Marmalade has made it a point throughout the thread to dismiss the whole concept of differently-wired HSPs and those with neurological sensitivities as simply bad behavers she only wants to tell off and avoid. I am sure that HSPs are equally adamant about avoiding anyone with the same mindset.

Ah yes, she is such a ray of sunshine, a veritable angel of light!!

Actually I kinda agree with her..........I think we, as a society, love to label things and "make the booboo feel better".........we like things nice and tidy..........besides, IF it's an illness, then it's not our fault, our problem, or our anything.....you don't have to own it....everyone else must just turn a blind eye......................................raven

Raven, read above some of the posts. It has nothing to do with being an "illness."

illness was probably not a good choice of words on my part...........but..........it doesn't change much..........look I'm dyslexic.........so is one of my son's and by the way that is also considered a neurological disorder..........does that mean the world should change..........does that mean we should get a free pass on the area's in our life that is affected by that?.................NO...............it means it's up to us to figure it out, and make things work for us

I'm also an artist.........and I have said for years that artists are not hard wired the same as other people...........we don't "see" things the way others do..........we see in lights and darks, shapes, textures and don't even realize that's what we're taking in........it's automatic.........and we use it to our benefit

IF being "overly sensitive" is a medical thing, it's not my problem to fix or learn to deal with........no more then my dyslexia is anybodies problem but mine........ and mine to work out ways to minimize it's affect on my daily life...........................................raven

Not only has it been said over and over here that it isn't a medical condition, nor is it a problem, it is a way of being that isn't right or wrong, it just is.

Just as you don't slam doors, yell over the heads of others conversing, whistle regardless of what/who is around, you give the same considerations in ways anyone but a bonehead would consider good manners.

People who are highly sensitive will take care of themselves to avoid over stimulation. My daughter is both HSP and highly artistic, its a kind of sensitivity of its own. I would venture to guess that you, Raven, are highly sensitive to what you see with your eyes and with your mind but you are less sensitive in other areas. What is "automatic" to you is no different than what is an automatic way of responding to stimuli than anyone else. You are normal just as HSPs are normal.

This isn't an issue of one person is better developed than another or copes better. All of us are differently wired with certain commonalities and differences amongst us.

Why resist where change isn't possible? We adapt as best we can. No one is perfect at that.

thank you........you've just made my point............me not seeing the way other people see IS normal..........for me...........being less sensitive in other areas as you say is ALSO normal...........for me

So it begs the question...........should I expect the world to change to accommodate "my normal"...should I expect them to alter or completely throw away what is their normal on my behalf................NO.................that would be not only stupid but extremely selfish on my part.........best case scenario...........I'll go and be me and do what I need to do to function in this world..........you go and be you and do what you need to do to function in this world......................................raven

[foundinlv]

n/m

[Marmalade_1]

Perfect solution, Raven. You take care of you and I'll take care of me and it'll all work out.

[raven-blackbird]

On 2/26/2015 Marmalade said:

Perfect solution, Raven. You take care of you and I'll take care of me and it'll all work out.

exactly!!!!!!! .....................................raven

[jubilant]

I just got back and read the rest of these posts. I get this feeling that we are all talking about something different. Personality disorders, highly sensitive, selfish, problems that really stem from abusive parents, and on and on. I think in each highly sensitive person's life it needs to be established if they were born that way ( and I believe some are), if abuse caused it or added to it, or if the child is manipulative and psychologically advanced to the point they can use it to get what they want. It never helps a child to make excuses for them or blame yourself. If you made mistakes admit them and go on or that child won't get better if you don't. It actually does them more harm than good. Whatever the problem, they need structure, consistency, patience, and outside help if necessary.

In days gone by they used to say things like "that kid is one of a kind" or...... "that one is of a different breed".....I dislike hearing people say that....especially in front of that child. You deal with each child according to what they are. Usually, there is one child more difficult than the others in a family. They still need to be held to certain standards at home because the world won't see them like you do and they will be in for a rude awakening. Some of these children do need outside help and need to be made aware that there is help for them. It will not work if they don't agree to get that help and instead blame it on others the rest of their lives. There is help and there is medication and there are ways to better handle children like this.....and then there is that fact in life....some just won't do what they have to get better. I often don't like it when I hear about those street people we don't care about and those Viet Nam vets that refuse to get help. Many of these families and parents have done anything and everything to help them and they won't be helped. You can't force a person to change. You cannot will a person to live. They have to want it.

[Free2be]

Is expecting good manners, that people not be loud in a rude and inconsiderate way, asking the world to change? Perhaps. The resistance to it is odd, to me.

No one is asking or expecting that HSPs be coddled. Not sure how that idea took hold in this conversation.

Let's say a woman is upset about something and cries at her workplace. Either she goes to the bathroom and pulls herself together, goes home for the day wiped out, or gets written up or talked to by a superior. Are any of those acts of coddling? What if most other women would not have cried as she did? Is she simply a PITA? There may be 20 HSPs working around her who don't do that.

If it happens regularly, I'd hazard that she has other issues. All requires a degree of sensitivity from others, not a huge investment on anyone else's part other than perhaps a needed sensitivity training which is something that does happen in many workplaces. I've attended them, maybe that's why I'm bothering to post here.

[raven-blackbird]

On 2/26/2015 Free2be said:

Is expecting good manners, that people not be loud in a rude and inconsiderate way, asking the world to change? Perhaps. The resistance to it is odd, to me.

No one is asking or expecting that HSPs be coddled. Not sure how that idea took hold in this conversation.

Let's say a woman is upset about something and cries at her workplace. Either she goes to the bathroom and pulls herself together, goes home for the day wiped out, or gets written up or talked to by a superior. Are any of those acts of coddling? What if most other women would not have cried as she did? Is she simply a PITA? There may be 20 HSPs working around her who don't do that.

If it happens regularly, I'd hazard that she has other issues. All requires a degree of sensitivity from others, not a huge investment on anyone else's part other than perhaps a needed sensitivity training which is something that does happen in many workplaces. I've attended them, maybe that's why I'm bothering to post here.

ever been around someone who is hard of hearing.................ever been around someone who works around loud machinery......a foreman of a crew.......they are loud........real loud, because they don't hear well.....or they get accustomed to yelling over things.......and it's automatic for them............it's not rude, it's how their body/brain compensates for their hearing loss or their enviorment..........................................raven