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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,305
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

@suzyQ3 wrote:

@software wrote:

I started working full time in the 1970s and yes it was pretty free-wheeling back then.   But it was up to the woman to say NO.

 

Obviously someone was saying YES or he wouldn't be doing it.

 

And fortunately, I was never so in debt or entrenched in a job that I couldn't leave if I was being systematically disrespected in some form or fashion - sexually or otherwise.


@software, from what I understand, the accusations are from those who did NOT want the "attention" given to them by this man.

 

It's very easy to sit here and wonder why a woman might find herself in a very difficult situation. I bet many of us here know exactly what I'm saying.

 

When I was younger and working briefly part-time in a male-dominated place, I recall a customer telling my employer something about my body. My employer replied, "Yeah, that's why we keep her." Did I pipe up and object and demand more respect? No. Not until much later.

 

IT IS NOT UP TO THE WOMAN TO SAY NO. IT'S UP TO THE MAN TO PROVIDE, AT THE VERY LEAST, A COMFORTABLE AND RESPECTFUL WORKING ENVIRONMENT FOR ALL EMPLOYEES - AND TODAY, ALSO TO COMPLY WITH THE MUCH-NEEDED LAWS IN PLACE.


 

 

In a perfect world, yes.

But a man's brain always goes to the visual, they are wired that way.

They have to be TAUGHT that  women are not objects, therefore it's up to women to say NO.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,895
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Harvey Weinstein

[ Edited ]

Harvey Weinstein’s rationalizations, blaming the culture and others around him, remind me of an old Seinfeld episode. George was caught having secks under his desk with the woman who cleaned the office. After his boss fires him, George tries to make his excuses. My favorite was his telling the boss that if he had only known that company policy frowned on secks under desks, he would have refrained. Weinstein is yet the latest harasser to try what I call The Costanza Defense.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 46,969
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@software wrote:

@suzyQ3 wrote:

@software wrote:

I started working full time in the 1970s and yes it was pretty free-wheeling back then.   But it was up to the woman to say NO.

 

Obviously someone was saying YES or he wouldn't be doing it.

 

And fortunately, I was never so in debt or entrenched in a job that I couldn't leave if I was being systematically disrespected in some form or fashion - sexually or otherwise.


@software, from what I understand, the accusations are from those who did NOT want the "attention" given to them by this man.

 

It's very easy to sit here and wonder why a woman might find herself in a very difficult situation. I bet many of us here know exactly what I'm saying.

 

When I was younger and working briefly part-time in a male-dominated place, I recall a customer telling my employer something about my body. My employer replied, "Yeah, that's why we keep her." Did I pipe up and object and demand more respect? No. Not until much later.

 

IT IS NOT UP TO THE WOMAN TO SAY NO. IT'S UP TO THE MAN TO PROVIDE, AT THE VERY LEAST, A COMFORTABLE AND RESPECTFUL WORKING ENVIRONMENT FOR ALL EMPLOYEES - AND TODAY, ALSO TO COMPLY WITH THE MUCH-NEEDED LAWS IN PLACE.


 

 

In a perfect world, yes.

But a man's brain always goes to the visual, they are wired that way.

They have to be TAUGHT that  women are not objects, therefore it's up to women to say NO.


 

@software   

 

Uh ....  In a perfect world, parents would raise young men to respect women .... to be gentlemen .....  to never force themselves onto women .....  to do the right thing.   Do this even for no other reason than ... it's illegal.

 

Don't parents share some blame in some of these occurances?

 

Unfortunately, when it comes to powerful men in any industry or field, they are accustomed to getting what they want.    Yes, sometimes women throw themselves at men.  It happens, and sometimes it happens frequently.

 

However, two things that ALL women can do ...

 

1 --  Support women that find themselves in predatory situations.  (How many women here stated during the Cosby postings that "she must have asked for it"?)

 

2 -- Use every opportunity to reinforce integrity and gentlemanly behavior in young men .... better yet, men of any age. 

 

It's one thing for a woman to have to extricate herself from a situation where they guy doesn't want to take no for an answer .... and another thing entirely to have her livelihood threatened if she doesn't say yes to the creep.

 

Okay, I'll get off my soap box now.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,681
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

silence is complicity. more on that in Nyt today. media - pols - stars - enabled for one reason or another: greed, access, job security.......allowing this to go on for 20-30 years. ugh.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 46,969
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@ms traditional wrote:

silence is complicity. more on that in Nyt today. media - pols - stars - enabled for one reason or another: greed, access, job security.......allowing this to go on for 20-30 years. ugh.


@ms traditional

 

And, unfortunately, sometimes silence is a condition of employment.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,681
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Harvey Weinstein

[ Edited ]

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@ms traditional wrote:

silence is complicity. more on that in Nyt today. media - pols - stars - enabled for one reason or another: greed, access, job security.......allowing this to go on for 20-30 years. ugh.


@ms traditional

 

And, unfortunately, sometimes silence is a condition of employment.



@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@ms traditional wrote:

silence is complicity. more on that in Nyt today. media - pols - stars - enabled for one reason or another: greed, access, job security.......allowing this to go on for 20-30 years. ugh.


@ms traditional

 

And, unfortunately, sometimes silence is a condition of employment.


@TINKERBELL   or.....not.  Ashley Judd said "no" - and worked for him thereafter.  and a lot of people could write their own ticket - e g Nicole Kidman/Meryl Streep.  perhaps he did not confront them in this way. they haven't said anything --yet.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,009
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I'm trying to follow the money.  If it's being given back, that's a good thing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 38,064
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@ms traditional wrote:

silence is complicity. more on that in Nyt today. media - pols - stars - enabled for one reason or another: greed, access, job security.......allowing this to go on for 20-30 years. ugh.


@ms traditional

 

And, unfortunately, sometimes silence is a condition of employment.


But there isn't only that one job in the world.  So the women should just say no and not prostitute themselves for the employment.   Like that woman at Foxnews did - took the money Roger Ailes had Foxnews willing to pay her while all that time performing "favors" for him - then later crying foul.  Gretchen Carlson too - she could certainly have found another job and not put up with any harrassment at Foxnews.   There isn't just one job in the world.  The women have stayed for the money and while I don't blame them whatsoever for the harrassment, I do blame them for putting up with it for the pay.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,331
Registered: ‎01-06-2015

Google Lauren Sivan and what he did to her.

 

He abused his power, money, and position to mistreat and abuse women. Like many others, unfortunately. And so many looked the other way for the same reasons.

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
Honored Contributor
Posts: 38,064
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

Sadly, the old "casting couch" people used to talk about in the 1950s and 1960s is still alive and well.