Community Chat

[mrshckynut]

my father died in 1977 still missing him  ❤  

mrshckynut 

[BlueFinch]

@rms1954 Oh, no. Such a death is horrible for the survivors. While the individual may find peace from their mental anguish, it leaves loved ones struggling to deal with their own. My heart goes out to you. Below I'll share a few of my experiences. You may, or not relate to some, but here goes. 

Having worked with several intentional, or risky accidental deaths (perhaps under substance influence), those left behind eventually realized they could not have had a life changing impact. Even so, they still struggled with self blame for not being able to save their loved one. Watching mom's struggle is particularly sad. It's their baby, their child, even as an adult.

Even highly skilled professionals often can't help when someone is on a self destructive path. Sadly, I know this personally. Yes, we lost a few. I think of them often. I even wonder --- did we miss a step?  Everyone has doubts and questions in these situations. 

Support groups for such losses can have a positive effect. It's helpful to meet with people with a shared experience. It reinforces what you're feeling is normal and part of the grieving process that can't be avoided. Healing has the best outcome, when shared. It's never healthy to isolate and try to handle it alone. Our self-talk is often unhelpful. I know mine isn't. 

Just remember, you're not alone in your despair, and healing is there for you, when the time is right. I feel certain your son would desire this for you. You will be okay. Not the same, you, but you'll be okay. It just takes time. 

[SandySparkles]

It is such a pleasure to read such, emotional and endearing tributes to fathers!❤ EVERY child needs and deserves one, but not all are BLESSED enough to have one!😊 

It is a day NOT just about cook-outs, special dinners, and gifts of ties and shirts😁. It is a day we HONOR and reflect on those fathers who are ALWAYS there! The father who cleans a boo-boo, teaches you how to ride a bike, bait a fish hook, or dances with you. The father who scolds, or disciplines  you lovingly because he understand how important structure will be as you navigate your way through life!💝

I also like to take a moment and give CREDIT to the SINGLE MOTHERS on Father's Day who are forced to fill the role of an absent father for whatever the reason.❤ A mother who works as hard as she can to fill that important void; especially for a son! She truly must multi-task!😁❤

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to ALL the father's who understand the importance of their roles, are ALWAYS there making a difference by guiding, encouraging, supporting and setting a GOOD example!💝💝

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[SaveTheTurtles]

I lost my dad in April so this one was not the same. My hubby had a nice day though. 

[rms1954]

@BlueFinch Thank you.

[Oznell]

Oh, your loss was also very recent, @SaveTheTurtles --  your first Father's Day afterward must have indeed been difficult.  I'm so sorry.   

And sorry for all the losses mentioned here, both distant and recent.