Guests who invite themselves?!

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

I went to an event the other day where a distant relative (husband’s cousin’s husband’s sister - real distant

) asked me why we don’t invite her over to our house as we were saying goodbye. I was mortified! While we know her well and see her at this cousin’s events once in a while, we are not close or particularly friendly.

I was definitely taken off guard and said something like you are always welcome. She pushed and replied that she wants to coordinate a date. I told her soon but really have no desire nor will we follow through.

Have you ever had a similar situation? What would you have said/done?

Chicagosuburbangirl · ‎04-14-2018

Sounds like she wants to be friends with you.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

You are being too hard on her.

'cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

And then we have those people who complain of not having anyone who cares about them and wonder how to make frioends. This is how it starts, by closing oneself off to new experiences and people.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I don't recall ever having that happen to me but I can certainly see it from that women's standpoint. She thinks of you as family or as friends. You said you know her well. You said you see her at the mutual cousins's events. My guess is that when you are in her company, you social and are friendly with her and that's probably been going on for years even if you don't see her often. I don't what you were "mortified" about, perhaps you chose the wrong word. You didn't do or say anything that you should fee embarrassed about. I think in situation like that where I do know the woman and we are in the same sort of extended family; I would set something up and invite her for lunch or dinner. I'd probably invite the "cousins" too. That is, of course, if I did not dislike the woman. I would not have been embarrassed by any of this. I'd have told the truth "You're so right Mary, all this time and I haven't had you over. Give me your phone number and we can talk next week and set something up". Which I would do but in your case, I suppose you would just not take her calls and just hope the thing dies before you see the next time. Since you said "soon" if she can pick up on vibes , she probably knows that you are not interested in socializing with her.

PinkyPetunia · ‎03-09-2010

Invite her over for what? Socializing, a meal or to stay as a houseguest?

Why doesn't she invite you to her place? Whenever I get an awkward request I try to give a vague response like my memory is bad, must check my calendar or that we are busy busy so we'll see, too much going on right now.

scatcat · ‎03-15-2010

If she wants to hang out with you, why doesn’t she invite you to her house

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

I have had this happen to me, mostly with relatives and friends that are more aquaintances than actual friends. I don't appreciate being put on the spot either so I totally get what the OP is saying. However I always try to be kind and if pushed I would suggest meeting for lunch, not having the person over. I can give some of my time but I wouldn't open my home and prepare the meal to encourage this situation.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@reiki604

I was thinking along those lines too. I was thinking the poor woman was probably reaching out, trying to make a friend or expand her social circle. Which is what they tell lonely people to do. She thought since this was someone she knows, it would be "safe" and easy for her. And she got rebuffed. I felt bad for her.