Guests who invite themselves?! - Page 2

withaK · ‎01-28-2016

That is distant !! When was the last time you saw her ? DH and I have a rule that I handle my family and he handles his. We were left out of alot of parties with his family until the death of his mother brought us in contact with some people. We were invited to a couple of "gift-giving" events and then nothing....I digress tho...lol.......see what your husband wants to do with the relationship and proceed from there. It may have been one of those "Oh we need to get together more often !!" type of goodbyes

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@LindaSal wrote:
I have had this happen to me, mostly with relatives and friends that are more aquaintances than actual friends. I don't appreciate being put on the spot either so I totally get what the OP is saying. However I always try to be kind and if pushed I would suggest meeting for lunch, not having the person over. I can give some of my time but I wouldn't open my home and prepare the meal to encourage this situation.

Exactly - I had 2 very good friends and we would get together often - however, that meant meeting at the movies, meeting at a restaurant for lunch or dinner, etc. Rarely did we meet in someone's house unless one of them was running late and asked us to stop by. In addition, we each always paid for our own meals/movies, etc when we were out. We never wanted to create situations where someone did something and the other 2 of us felt that now we had to reciprocate.

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

My husband was right beside me and heard the whole thing. I too let him handle his family. He never even liked this woman and no, we have no intention of following through. I guess I was just caught off guard. Typically if I like someone or want to start a new relationship, I am the one to invite the person and would NEVER say why don’t you invite me over. I find that rude, pushy and off putting.

We are both 50, still working and active with many friends and acquaintances. She still has kids at home and is quite busy. I don’t think she did this because she is lonely and looking for friends.

I find the replies interesting and appreciate the time you all chose to post.

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

@NJgirl 1205 Much depends on the relationship which you have now. Do you like her company? If so, schedule a lunch date. If all goes well at lunch, then it would be her turn to reciprocate. If you do not like her or lunch does not go well, then don't plan another date.

What I will say is that as we get older, we need more people in our lives. We have no idea what the future will bring, but she may bring good things to your life. If you enjoy her company only at family gatherings, you may miss out on many good things. Of course, if you have lots of friends, maybe you don't need anyone else to add to your life. If so, you are very lucky.

I am a person who thinks that some day people regret excluding people from their lives unless there is a compelling reason. No matter, you do what you think is best for you--just try to think into the future and what you might be missing.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

Jtdmum · ‎03-17-2010

I have a neighbor who I am not close with who out of the blue started to ask to come over to sit and have a glass of wine. I never drink during the week and rarely on weekends. Why would somebody invite themselves to my house? I would think the opposite, you invite me to your house for a glass of wine.

Then started with the kids wanting to swim in my pool...and it starts...Put a quick end to that.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

You have the right to decide what you want to do with your time & who you want to invite to your home.If she wants to be friends she should invite you to her home.Not invite herself to yours,period. Then you decide wether or not you want to accept.

I think she was being rude.If you don’t want her over your house,that’s your choice.

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

I should add that we have not seen this woman in about 2 years. She also knows we recently moved into a new home so maybe she is just curious to see it. Our culture is such that when we invite people it is always around large meals. There is no such thing as just drinks only or coffee.

Yes, we are very lucky with many friends, acquaintances and family with whom we are close. I am not in the market for new friends but IF I was, I would be the one to take initiative to invite them rather than the other way around...

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

Well, she may just be socially awkward, honestly. I don't know why she didn't invite you to her house, but if you feel like it at all, you could just ask her if she'd like to meet for lunch or dinner at a restaurant. We all have to eat, she may be lonely, and you could end up having a lot in common with her.

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

lots of people say this ... but, does it really have to happen (esp. with distant family members!). I have a family member who thinks she should be "invited" to every event, etc. -- we haven't seen her in years BUT our one relative invites them -- good for her....I don't want to start a friendship with them...

perhaps she is interested in seeing your new home ...I'd let my spouse handle that one!

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

@NJgirl 1205: Where do you live (desirable from a destination prospective?) do you have a pool? What I'm saying, is maybe your "would be friend" has an ulterior motive (it happens).