Re: Guests Cooking in Your House

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

Nope I guess I would have to insult him. Nothing is touched in my kitchen by anyone but me. I would never have let it get this far that he feels he can still come with his food. It's nice when guests bring something like dessert, but that's it. I never even heard of anyone doing something like this. The nerve of him.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

Yet another reason I don't like company staying with us.

And why I don't stay with others when visiting.

You should let them know this doesn't work for you.

I'm sure there are things they wouldn't hesitate telling you that don't work for them.

Hell, he had no problem guilt tripping you into getting his way just like a toddler would do!

There are hotels that have eat in kitchens...just sayin'.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

i wouldnt be crazy about it, BUT, i also would not want to insult them, so i would just deal with it. it is difficult for me to have others in "my kitchen." i would also make sure to take them out for a dinner and let them know ahead of time.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

EastCoastGal · ‎03-09-2010

@Biftu wrote:
We have friends from out of state that visit every couple of years and usually stay a night or two. They live three hours away. Every time they come the husband insists on doing the cooking. He prepares the food at home and brings the food and heats in up when they get here and continues to make rice or some other dish here. I have to get involved pulling out pots and pans, etc., then do the clean up. Cooking is his new passion since he retired. The problem is his food is not good -- at all. I dread eating it.

This year we tried to talk him into going out for dinner instead of him cooking. He said "no, you are taking away my fun. I want to bring the food it's not a problem." He could not be persuaded. We'll go with it not to hurt his feelings. It's nice to have someone cook for you, but...

It's not like this happens often so guess I shouldn't be annoyed. How would you feel?

@Biftu ... In my opinion, this guy is being a stubborn old goat !!!! Why should he make the rules? He said "You're taking away my fun... " What about your fun?!?! You are going to end up resenting this guy and not look forward to their visits !! Sorry but I don't like him! You probably like his wife better anyway but he's causing you more work plus you don't like his cooking !! You only see them every couple of years so you need to decide what to do about him! It depends how much you want to keep them in your life!

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

I was thinking about this. I would tell him no. Tell him you are bringing in food so no one has to cook. Do not let him sway you. If this insults him and they do not come so be it. Sometimes you have to put your foot down. He cannot make the rules in your house.

Trailrun23 · ‎05-31-2022

You could tell him to bring a salad and dessert and tell him you will do the rest. Hard to make a bad salad and you can always be "too full" to eat much dessert if it looks terrible. I have a small kitchen and don't like anyone else in it when I am cooking or cleaning up. Having to find pans or other things for him and clean up the mess would drive me nuts. If you have a patio grill, maybe you could steer him outside and tell him to grill steaks or something. You provide the steaks. He can still do salad and dessert. He can do all the cooking he wants in his own kitchen; he doesn't need to be in yours unless asked.

Marp · ‎03-09-2010

@Biftu, quick, before they arrive, get and post a sign in a prominent place in your kitchen that says you cook you clean.

Then do not, under any circumstances, "get involved pulling out pots and pans, etc., then do the clean up".

It may be tough to live with for the short time they are there but maybe he'll get the message to at least clean up after himself especially if he wants to cook something else.

Then again, if there are no clean pots, pans, etc. guess you'll just have to go out to eat.

Best case scenario is that his cooking has greatly improved and you end up with a great meal.

What is good for the goose today will also be good for the gander tomorrow.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Nope. Buck up and tell them "It's too stressful for me for this cooking going on while you all are here. I want to relax and visit with you, and we are going to eat out, take out, or have it delivered this visit. And it isn't up for discussion. We are going to relax.

And if he gets pouty, it is his problem not yours! He can lump it or stay home.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@Biftu wrote:
We have friends from out of state that visit every couple of years and usually stay a night or two. They live three hours away. Every time they come the husband insists on doing the cooking. He prepares the food at home and brings the food and heats in up when they get here and continues to make rice or some other dish here. I have to get involved pulling out pots and pans, etc., then do the clean up. Cooking is his new passion since he retired. The problem is his food is not good -- at all. I dread eating it.

This year we tried to talk him into going out for dinner instead of him cooking. He said "no, you are taking away my fun. I want to bring the food it's not a problem." He could not be persuaded. We'll go with it not to hurt his feelings. It's nice to have someone cook for you, but...

It's not like this happens often so guess I shouldn't be annoyed. How would you feel?

A. I wouldn't like him cooking at home and then bringing it to my house. So NO to that. Period. And I wouldn't care if he was a great cook!

If it's his new passion, he can get his jollies off doing all the cooking at his home. Tell him it's now your new passion...cooking for guests and now he's taking the joy from you.

I'm an IN CHARGE person in my own home and especially my own kitchen. I'm the cook-- or we go out to eat.

Period.

He seems like a control freak and guess what? I'm a control freak, especially when it comes to my home and my kitchen. Because I'm also a clean freak (and I'll add in a food phobia freak). I'd rather take my chances at my favorite restaurant than have a control freak cook his meal at his home and heat it up at my home and tell me what he's going to do. Nope!!!

I have lots of overnight guests and I run the show, they don't.