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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,129
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

When you receive a gift, say thank you .

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,203
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

I get annoyed with people who are unable to gracefully accept a gift they don't like. Just say thank you and give it to someone else. Why make the giver feel bad? Manners 101.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,204
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Gift Not Well Received

[ Edited ]

@gidgetghwrote:

@ScrapHappyI'm sorry she didn't like her gift. I know from experience some gifts I've given over my life have been terrific, others I thought were terrific weren't met with huge enthusiasm and I've given some where I think back on it later and I'm like "what was I thinking"?


Here is my take on it, on any gift really. You give the give with a joyful heart and good intentions and what happens after that is out of your control.


@gidgetghI just love what you wrote!

But especially if they give us no indication of what they would like! How often my DH and I gave our parents things, only to have them stuffed into drawers.

I am afraid to ask my grandchildren, though, because their list is a mile long!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,084
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@ScrapHappy

Every Christmas my husband got a gift of meat, sides and dessert from a co-worker.

Our freezer always seemed to be full but we always found room for all the items, since the items were individually wrapped and sealed. AND we always liked the selection and the products we were sent.

One year we got twice baked potatoes. They were the best I have ever eaten. I still think about how good they were today.

I think you sent a wonderful gift that your Mother-in-law could enjoy through the next few months. If your Mother-in-law is anything like my Mom was, no matter what you sent as a gift that she would complain - except if the brother sent it.

So just make a note what not to send next year. But don't be surprised if next year the same thing happens, no matter what you buy her.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,835
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Gift Not Well Received

[ Edited ]

For many years my Husband's Mother sent us a big candy basket for Christmas that I imagine cost quite a bit of money... I know it is the thought that counts.... but, we ended up throwing away much of it... I gave away at my work most of it.)

we never wanted to hurt her feelings, but I thought gosh, if she would only send us a gift card OR made a donation to someone in or name... that really would be the best gift of all.)

Do you think it was better to let her send the gift basket we never used for so many years? My Husband just could never get the courage to tell her that we did not eat candy as he loved his Mom.....

Trying to make Paragraphs.... does not seem to work anymore......

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,822
Registered: ‎06-21-2015

To me it just sounds like it's to much. She is elderly and when you get to be at that age you don't eat as much, just simple meals. It was a nice thought just not for someone her age.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,011
Registered: ‎03-24-2010

@Trixwrote:

That mother-in-law would never receive another gift from me because she made so much fuss over something that could have been handled quietly.

@TrixI agree! Maybe it would be petty on my part, but I am of the "I give up" mentality. Not only because of how the gift was poorly received, but I just cannot squander money! I would tell my husband it would be up to him to buy his mother the gifts, if he wanted to do so.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,011
Registered: ‎03-24-2010

@chrystaltreewrote:

Next year send her a fruitcake and be done with her.

@chrystaltreebest answer! You win the prize! Woman LOL


Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,080
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Perhaps she was wanting her son to buy her a freezer, since her complaint wasn't the gift but lack of freezer space for it. Next year, you could send a fruit or dessert of the month. A gift that keeps on giving.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,646
Registered: ‎06-24-2011

@amyb I think the OP's MIL could've discreetly contacted a food pantry to pick up the items that she couldn't store, without expressing her disappointment to anyone. She might've even felt good about donating.

Next November, she could drop hints about what she'd actually like for next year's gift without saying anything negative about this year's gift.

It's sad that she didn't consider the OP's intentions & feelings this year.