Re: Gift Not Well Received

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Honestly--who among us would welcome a "surprise" freezer full of food? I'll bet not one in ten would be happy to drop everything and find room for it.

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So you would NEVER send them anything again? How about just an "oops " and a little apology?

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It's ok to make a mistake and admit it and learn from it. It saves grief later on.

northiie57 · ‎01-07-2020

This is how I see things...there's givers and takers in this world and the takers are never grateful or happy when the giver gives/gifts them. I am of one of 8 siblings and I have a brother and sister who complain about getting things for FREE!! makes me nutzo! I see gift cards in her future ....she should dontate to the food banks jmo

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

We often complain about how the youth of America are rude and have no manners. Yet, we have adults that cannot receive a gift graciously. No excuse for it.🙄

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My experience with my SIL when I gave her a gift card accompanied by a diamond and Pearl 18k gold pendant was memorable. She opened it, got up from her chair and with a nasty attitude handed it back to me telling me it wasn't her style. I mentioned she wore the matching earrings to my daughter's wedding so I gave her a match. She shook her head and said she would keep the gift card. No apology ever was made. Just rude...🥺

Othereeeen · ‎03-13-2010

I've thought about sending frozen food to my sister who lives 400 miles away, then I recall they only have the top freezer section in thier fridge ( no separate freezer) and every time I've been there to visit, you can't fit a dollar bill into it. ( there may be stuff in there from ten years ago!!!!)

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So that may be a legitimate complaint. I wouldn't send expensive frozen food packages to anyone unless I knew they had a freezer to keep stuff in. I have no separate freezer either ( but I do have two refrigerators) and the freezers on them are full, so I couldn't stick a bunch of unexpected frozen stuff in them either.

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That would be a waste, and if someone sent me such a gift, I'd feel terrible not being able to store it. (I live alone, so don't eat a whole lot).

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I didn't read all the answers, but maybe that was the problem?

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@sweetee2wrote:
To me it just sounds like it's to much. She is elderly and when you get to be at that age you don't eat as much, just simple meals. It was a nice thought just not for someone her age.

She loves to eat. Not a problem.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@occasionalrainwrote:
Perhaps she was wanting her son to buy her a freezer, since her complaint wasn't the gift but lack of freezer space for it. Next year, you could send a fruit or dessert of the month. A gift that keeps on giving.

She has a new fridge with a huge pull out freezer on bottom. My BIL paid for 1/2 of her new appliances (fridge, dishwasher, microwave and oven) a couple of years ago.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@Cakers3wrote:
I get everyone saying a simple "Thank You" and how they would not complain etc. etc. etc. We know everyone else has perfect manners.
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I also do not know why people say they can fit all the food in THEIR refrigerator. It has nothing to do with this story.
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Did the OP first consult with her husband about this gift?
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We just do not know the whole story. The word "complain" is subjective and I see a twinge of dislike of this MIL embedded in the post.
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MIL sounds elderly. Perhaps a get together with the other BIL and partner if he has one would be better-what does MIL NEED rather than just guessing about a gift.
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It was a nice gift but since it was not approriate do something different next year.
* I am not going to slam the MIL; we do not know her personally, we do not know her finances, we do not know if she can handle cooking all this food, and most of all lesson learned.
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Once the gift is given, it is not important anymore as to how the recipient reacts.

Yes, my husband and I discussed the gift and he thought it was a great idea. She's 80 but when I say it's hard for her to get around, it's not that she can't. She drives and grocery shops and goes out with her friends. She has back issues that with medical intervention has helped greatly and has been doing great for some time now. She called my BIL because that's what she does.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@northiie57wrote:
This is how I see things...there's givers and takers in this world and the takers are never grateful or happy when the giver gives/gifts them. I am of one of 8 siblings and I have a brother and sister who complain about getting things for FREE!! makes me nutzo! I see gift cards in her future ....she should dontate to the food banks jmo

I offered my MIL my mother's lift chair when she passed. Practically brand new. An expensive chair, over $2000. She wanted specifics...color, material, etc. How about it's a $2000 practically new chair for FREE?!

Forbidden Fruit · ‎09-04-2014

@Trinity11

Holy cow! That takes the cake. If I received a pendant like that, I would have broken down and cried that someone thought that much of me.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Forbidden Fruitwrote:
@Trinity11
Holy cow! That takes the cake. If I received a pendant like that, I would have broken down and cried that someone thought that much of me.

She is a diva and I should have realized that anything conventionally beautiful would not float her boat @Forbidden Fruit .